The Games People Play

I'll be cheering for Keeth Smart, a highly ranked fencer, now in his third Olympics.  He's a black graduate of St. John's University, here in Queens, NY.  And his sport has a rich European history so, as a Yank, he's the underdog but he's considered the first American to have a real shot at medaling in the saber fencing event since his own mentor, Peter Westbrook, took the bronze back in 1984.

It is proof of the continuing degradation, decadence, and loathsome perfidy of the International Olympic Committee that once again LACROSSE is not being contested at the Beijing Games. Absent that most grand of gentlemanly sports, my interest in the China games is hovering somewhere around my attention span for competitive hedge trimming.

There's a few noteworthy environmental bell weathers that should be attended to: the rowing competitions are taking place in a DRIED OUT RIVERBED that is using water appropriated from China's farmers to float those beautiful sculling and sweep boats. I row on my mountain lake as much as I can - a couple times a week - and I really want to see my favorite teams win. But there's this niggling little feeling, the one that says "You know this is all a sham for TV, right?" that won't let me just pop the corn and settle in with a big drink for a night of fabulous oarsmanship.

It's maddening. Now that we've all seen the man behind the curtain (be it sports doping, political intrigue, lying fat bastards, what have you...) it's hard to just be a contented viewer of damn near anything.

My solution... I'm going out tomorrow and rowing. I'm taking my marine GPS with me. I'll set a personal best (measured by satellite). It'll be my own personal Olympic victory, and my Gold Medal will be a glazed old fashioned with a cup of coffee on the way back to the house. I'll play the American National Anthem out the windows just for fun.

The Olympic games should be a time when nations come together in the spirit of athletic competition. It is not a time for political posturing, or something to be used as a "bully pulpit" for national leaders, our own included. Political confrontation does nothing but cast a pall over these wonderful events.

Although I believe what President Bush said in his speech about China is true, in my opinion, his timing was wrong. It can be said that in life, and in politics (or should I say politricks), timing is everything.

The Olympic games are a time for all to be amazed, to cheer, to salute our athletes handsomely, and to respect the hospitality of those who host the games, whoever they might be.

DreadPirateRoberts - As a fencer myself, the fencing event is my favorite above all others.

Greetings:  Wait a minute, DPirateR & Don Juan are fencers and Jonathan Eells is a sword fighter?  What kind of a diversified group is this anyway? 

Fencers! They use these little tiny pig-sticker things. I'm out there with giant meat cleaving beasties the likes of which cause collective genetic memories to surface and roar with approval. But I do like baking and making home-made preserves (pickled veggies, hard ciders, mead, jams and jellies) too. I'm a sensitive, New Age barbarian!

Great, My new Bassett Hound puppy (named Manny, after the Dogers slugger) just chewed up the cord to my sons computer (this one) and now my battery is blinking orange.  Be back manana after I get a new charger.

Once upon a time . . . .

Temporary truces were negotiated and wars were suspended out of respect for the Olympic Games. The Olympic ideals represented a word-wide common ground that for at least a little while, was almost considered sacred ground. The "pause" button was pushed, civility and honor reigned supreme, and hope was kept alive.

The "Olympic Ideals" were so noble in nature that they may have had the strength to endure many of the challenges that they face in today's world. The intrusion of politics, corruption, the doping scandals, all could probably be overcome in time.

Unfortunately, at least for me, the "Olympic Ideals", the dreams and hopes of what could be accomplished on this common ground of good sportsmanship, were dealt a fatal blow when terrorism, under the banner of politics and religion, turned the '72 Munich Olympics into a bloodbath.
I'll never forget the sick feeling, the deep dread, and the heartbreak of lost hope as I watched that terrible drama unfold on TV.

If a day comes when politics and issues of security are finally overshadowed by the feats of the participating athletes; I doubt if it would be because of the actions of a corrupt and impotent United Nations.

But hey, there is always hope.

Okay, I've stood silently by long enough. That Mia Farrow crack was over the line! After all, she IS the moral majority of mother earth, right?

As you so aptly said, let's sit back, and enjoy the Olympics in HD, with a Coke and a Smile, because This Bud's For You, and after each and every Bright Shining Moment of virtually Live On-Demand Action, I will jump in my corn-powered Chevy Suburban and rush off to Wal-Mart for the offical Ping-Pong table (designed in the USA, made in Vietnam) of the Olympic games....

I miss George Carlin already!

As for the rest, I'm thinking the good folks at the Peoples Republic will do just fine in their own right in introducing doubt in their "grand plan" to the world.

That is, unless they prove successful in that cloud-seeding idea. Al Roker, look out!

I was going to sit on my hands and let others carry on, but here is what nobody much has noticed. The Olympic Games, as viewed by nearly everyone who views them, are a TV show. And like every other TV show, they are edited for  excitement, based on some one person's ( or worse, a committee's) idea of what is interesting. And like most TV shows, they are paid for by sponsors and product placement. AND, like most TV shows,  their opportunity to  catch the attention of the world is just too tempting for others who wish to catch the world's attention, too, be they selling Bank Americard or National Socialism or Chinese Capitalism.

 I hope most of you have been spared the agony of "reality TV". Almost none of it is real. Sure, you get awkwardly held cameras and fairly crappy dialogue, but it is all fake, just the same.  And  far too much of the spirit of reality TV- the selling of one thing as another- invades the Olympics as presented to Americans, which is the only version I am likely to see.

The pantheon of Olympic Heroes is crowded. Now and then, JP or somebody else will discover one of them and use their memory to sell a little nostalgia. Who DIDN'T read about Jim Thorpe in grammar school?  But for every  [insert favorite medalist here]  there must be dozens of  average businessmen and housewives ( and yes, businesswomen and  househusbands) with clipping books and memories of  having gotten there, but having  not made it to the top three.

I reckon the Olympic Spirit to be that- an amateur's chance to be just plain better than everybody else at something that doesn't pay particularly well. Well, that and the great opportunity to go crazy when your country has unexpectedly won. 

And I don't ever ever compete with swords, oars, or even ski poles. 

I understand frustration about China's soulless policies, but when has it ever worked to shame a bully?  Won't exposing China to approbrium merely serve to make them dig their heels in or, worse, provoke more covert inhumanity?

Even though I'm more into ballet than baseball, I totally love the Olympics and believe that spirit of global community transcends the local policies of the host country.  (China is not the first country with a repressive regiem in which the games have been held.)  I believe the Olympic spirit works for the atheletes and I'm sorry we old foges have to get all judgemental.  A friend worked as a French interpreter at one of the games and came back a true believer.  If he can do it, we should be able to.

Of course the TV coverage is edited because broadcasts are expensive and the advertisers want to get more bang for their buck.  (There are other sources and my guess is that anything worth seeing will be on youtube faster then the Paris Hilton video.)

There was an article in July's GQ (someone left it at my house...I SWEAR), by Andrew Corsello, about Oscar Piscatoius (the sprinter with 2 prosthetic legs) and the authors quest to believe in the miracle of sports again. (Of course he's been deemed ineligible to compete in the olympics because of his "mechanical advantage"....SINCE WHEN IS HAVING NO LEGS AN ADVANTAGE IN A RUNNING RACE!!!!!!

Rant aside....I found the article moving (I a female, non-competitive type) for its yearning to recapture a idealistic moment in ones personal history. Though I'm pretty much a non-sports fan I totally appriciate the power of sports to stimulate awe. We need that, bad. 

Who can not be riveted to the Olympics, and every I learn what it is to stick a landing, even though there are no perfect tens anymore. and fencing terms like Absence de fer. Go Olympics and just and just as important Go UN. And as an American I feel uncomfortable in casting the first stone at another nation (as horrible as their policy is) given our recent foreign policy history.

I'd rather watch a bunch of kids in the park down the street, playing a pick-up game of softball using found objects for bases, they only count strikes if you swing and miss (and you get at least five of those, or more if you need them), there is no such thing as a walk, and they just play and play until it gets too dark to see the ball.

and ....... it's in high definition.

Nothing has changed except that through marvelous communication we know so much.  Lets take our knowledge concerning everything including the Olymics.

During the Cold War there was no problem that I can remember.  EVERYTHING going on now was certainly going on then.  We accepted the Olympics for exactly what they are and enjoyed them.

If you want to go--Go!  If you want to watch--Watch!  If you want to boycot--Boycot!

Remember to live the example of what you want the world to be.

And can you imagine what it's like being called the world's fastest human. Who says there are no absolutes. Maybe that's what so great about the sports you can actually measure. Settles a lot of arguments.

I must confess.

Despite my previous cynical, darkened comments on this subject, I suspect that at some point during the games I'll run across an event that catches my eye, probably something like the discus (Al Oerter was/remains one of my heroes) or the pole vault, and I'll end up becoming engaged and watch more and more as the games progress.

I do hope that these Games can once again put the world on "PAUSE" and generate some positive feelings that will last beyond the closing ceremonies.

I guess this qualifies me as a naïve cynic, but I've got to be something.

Does anybody remember the joke about the difference between olympic diving and olympic swimming? It is neither serious, nor idealistic, nor PC. You can google it. Hint: Mark Spitz.

While you are googling, try googling wentworth tradd fame. That should give you some feeling of competition...

Or are we all too high minded and self regulating here to enjoy a little sophomoric humor?

Willie T,

I havn't been high minded since the '70s, . . . well maybe it was the early to middle 80's.

For myself the Olympic allure was lost when they allowed professionals to compete.  I guess I jsut enjoyed hearing the announcers discuss the "unknowns" rather than recite Jordans NBA accomplishments. 

I was young when Mary Lou Retton won the gold, yet I can remember that evening quite well & how everyone held their breath until the scores were released,  Seeing Greg Luganis hit his head on the diving board, watching Ekaterina & Sergie skate in the Robins Egg Blue with Daisy's for pairs & how Katrina Witt (Dang Communists) dashed the chances of a Womens American Skating Gold Medal against Debie Thomas & of course in the mens the battle of the Brians, The U.S. Womens Gymnastic team all falling off the beam in Spain, along with Eddy the Eagle (Loved that man), & the Jamiacan Bobsledders.  

I'm sure there will be some more Cinderella Stories out of the China Olympics & I will bbe getting news reports & you tube e-mails over the next weeks by many people to show how even though the Chinese are not good political something rememberable came out of sending many athletes & sportsman there to compete.

Will I watch? I will watch some of the opening ceremony because I found out that Ralph Lauren was picked to design the U.S. Teams Ceremony outfits and after the amount of $$ I spend on outifts from  Mr. Peterman's catalogs the reminder seems to always go towards Mr. Laurens creations . (I admit it I'm a total clothes horse but a well dressed one.)

I may watch the gymnastics, the diving & maybe some of the track & field events, but sadly unlike the Olympic games in the 80's I will not be arranging my schedule around watching the events. 

JMR - Thank-you. I was wondering where I had left that July issue. Have you seen anything laying around there that kinda looks like a pig-sticker?

To DPR ~ Thanks for the Lunch Invite ~ as much as I would like to see the Exhibit on Irene Nemirovsky the events between GB & NY these past 48 hours may keep me away. I do not think my poor heart can take seeing Favre Jerseys printed in the wrong shade of green.  

I did buy the book last night  ~ can't wait to get home & start reading...

Fencing is one of those sports that are far more fun in the doing than the watching.  As a former fencer myself (like Catholics, the first thing that goes on a fencer are the knees), I never got off watching others do it...but I always got a big kick when I was able to stick a blunt object into someone's chest...LEGALLY.  Fencing is a highly under-rated sport, calling for speed, skill, aggression and subtlety.

I like it that way.  If fencing ever got really popular with lots of money to be made, what little mystique it carries in this world of .50 calibre handguns would be lost.   

"degradation, decadence, and loathsome perfidy"
Wow, my life will remain incomplete until the moment I can figure how to work that into a diatribe of some sort- seriously.
My only other vivid memory of China, apart from the tanks in Tiannemen? Square was Nixon's visit and I recall the impressively dignified reception, the spectacular opera, the seriousness of the negotiations but most of all: Man, that looked like good food!

Jonathan Eells,

Is that a challenge I smell?  You think we use "tiny pig-sticker things"?  Sound like fightin' words to me.  You name the time and the place.  Bring your cleaver, I'll bring an 18th century French smallsword.  We'll see whose fingers can type a contribution to Peterman's Eye the following morning.

Suggestion:  Check out the final fight in the movie, Rob Roy, choreographed by master fight director, William Hobbs.  It's a transition rapier against a claymore.  The smaller, lighter, faster weapon completely outclasses the big hunk of steel.

I can smell the bookies salivating! But I must warn you, in a world of 91cm small swords (they are lovely and wicked looking), I show up with a shield and a 111cm leg biter. You'll get one, and only one, good lunge before I give you a permanent limp!

And I LOVE that fight scene. Who's the guy who ends up exhaling from a new thoracic vent? Nobody does venom and menace quite like Roth does, though. In all the world of "Samurai Versus Fencer" YouTube videos, I have yet to see a smallsword versus a Type X (with the blade of a XII). We could be famous. You with your limp. Me, unable to pick my nose properly.

Boycotting and protesting the Olympics seems a little illogical to me.   It's like punishing good behavior. 

Aren't the olympics supposed to be where we set aside our disagreements and just let the athletes compete.  We should be able to just enjoy the level of competition and appreciate the talents of athletes from all nations--even some with which we don't normally get along.   

These young athletes have worked long and hard for this--they deserve their moment.  As for China, they can put their best face on, but I think the rest of the world has their number.

Jonathan,

If you're weighted down with a cleaver, one lunge is all I'll need.  You'll still be lifting the thing and my lunge will be made and my point scored.  Steel will never meet steel.  And, if you bring a shield (that's so cheating but never mind!), then I'm coming with a buckler.

For those of you who don't fence (I'm amazed at how few of you there are), a buckler is a small, round, hand-held shield.  In the 16th century, if a man walked up the street, swashing his rapier up and down across his buckler, it meant he was looking for a fight.  This is where we get the term, "swashbuckler".

Hoorah for all of the athletes willing to confront the ambient smog in Beijing, and hoorah for all of the deliciously civil and enlightened people who contribute to this conversation!  As a non-athlete, I have always watched the Olympics with great awe - whether I found out later someone was faking or not, c'est le vie; but the thrill of the opening ceremonies and the wonderful music and the marching athletes are the sights I love to behold.

But for now I must continue to search the boxes in my storeroom - we can't find a college fencing letter that belongs to a former family member, and I don't need any pointy sharp objects reminding me that someone wants that returned.  (it was bad enough when we learned this morning that a (gasp) computer has bested the current GO champion)

Today's Olympics are indeed made for television, and that's all right as I can't take the smog in Beijing.  Even my favorite chef from a 4 star restaurant there has hastily retreated to Hong Kong to avoid COPD.  We'll watch and we'll cheer and then ready ourselves to critique the next major event - something we are all well equipped to do!

HA! My sword's enormous, but my arm is bigger. Those whippy little cocktail skewers are nice, but parry an Ulvbane with it? Pshaw, methinks.

Enough already!  I am afraid I am a swimmer... sorry 'bout that, but even though it gets lots of action at the Olympics, except for a few scholarships, not a whole lot can be gained financially from it unless you win 8 golds and can get the indorsements.  This is the way with most of the olympic sports except for boxing (Ali, Frazier, etc).  So if we put the spotlight on the athletes themselves instead of the national political mascinations, then we would all get a good lesson in how to get along in the world.  One of my fondest olympic memories is of a qualifying swim heat in which someone from, I believe it was Belaruse (sp?), was competing.  He was allowed because his country was one of those that was given a waiver for time qualifications.  It was for the 100 Freestyle and when the faster competitors finished, they got out and came to the side of the pool cheering wildly and encouraging this poor fellow on as he struggled to even finish.  Now THAT is what the games are about.  Nations simply sending their best to play some fun games together.  I think it is the media that has driven all the political and commercial hype to the point that it is today and has brought this fun spectical to where it is not athlete driven, but rather political and product-placement driven.  

And speaking of products, I have a problem with the new Speedo suits.  Yes, if every team could afford a $350 swim suit for its swimmers, then there would be a more even playing field.  But when every world record set is by someone with one of these bio-engineered suits on, my eyebrows go up a bit.  I think there should at least be an asterisk by their names in the record book.  After all, that has been done elsewhere.  But I do realize that when the... was it nylon origionally?...vaulting pole came on the scene, there were questions of its legitimacy.  Once everyone could use it, it was fully accepted. 

Anyway, lets try to forget all the national posturing and sit back and enjoy a good competition, no matter what the sport.

"No matter what the sport"? THIS IS THE SPORT, right here in this room.

Still, posturing aside, here's the review I wrote for the sword of which I'm so proud.

[pigstickers, I say]

http://www.myarmoury.com/talk/viewtopic.php?p=136885

Cheers!

And check this page, Dread Pirate! It's a lively discussion of what happens in our circumstance - I love MyArmoury.

http://www.myarmoury.com/talk/viewtopic.php?t=5330&highlight=smallsword

Okay everybody......I used to teach kendo and Japanese swordsmanship. I can use a sabre, too. My family were long-time sabre enthusiasts(or saber, your choice of spelling)...not the sport variety but the hard core classical dueling style. If we're to have a 'gathering" then count me in. After all "there can be only one"....and it might as well be me. Central Park 7 am  Sunday morning okay with everyone?

And here's an Olympic moment to remember.....an old friend of my family, WWII naval submarine hero, Admiral Ben Bass won  the first and only gold medal in the 1932 Olympics (Los Angeles) in the rope climb! He was still at the Naval Academy.

It's a three-way! This gets better and better. I'm going to have to change to my little melee master. She's a Type X, but lightning quick. In subsequent lives, I think she became... a smallsword!

Rope climbing! I wish the Olympics still had the stones to put rope climbing into the Games. Maybe the Heptathlon. That's a family friend and memory to treasure.

Hey jmr, why cant you just admit that you subscribe to GQ and read it regularly. Anyway, I too love the personal stories of the athletes. There's nothing more satisfying than seeing an athlete win a gold or break a world record. I'm so happy for them!!!

... I stopped watching the Olympics when they cancelled the Nude Fencing Event, and all thats left is still boring .......  The Top Feature of the Games should be ROLLERBALL ........

Particularly well put, Mr. Peterman. It's seems your fervor for this subject is contagious.

One of my favorite things about sports is how cut-and-dry they are. You either score the goal/beat the clock/stick the landing, or you don't. You may question a referee's or a judge's call, but what they say goes, and that's that. There's really no question about it.

In the end, you either win, or you lose. I dunno about you, but I take comfort in that certainty.

But like the old adage says, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game that really matters. And that especially includes the Olympic games, when the entire world competes, and fragile international relations hang in the balance.

...and, regardind the Mia Farrow comment, she needs to get back to the future.

To: DreadPirateRoberts and Jonathan Eells,

Who wants to be first?  Both at the same time would be acceptable......it would save time. I promise to make it quick and painless.

jalopkin said they had a nude fencing event at the Olympics.  I'll remove my bowler, that's about as naked as I'm going to get.

I was going to say that I am through telling my husband about the topic at hand because he always has something ... different to add.  And I usually just let him laugh and go on.  But it seems that he can add to the discussion today on new events.  He has always thought that pole dancing should be an added event to the gymnastics competition.  But with the girls pre-pubescent, I have thought that would be a bit too far over the top.  But it would be one place that the competitors could get a good lead into a lucrative profession later on...

Well, I watched the opening ceremonies tonight and was duly impressed with the precision, the massive scale, and the highly artistic spectacle.  The shocking thing is that it was done by the ultimate master of Chinese filmmaking, Zhang Yimou.  The director of To Live, Raise the Red Lantern, and Ju Dou has had his colleagues "disciplined" by the political regime in China and is a classic example of a subversive genius.

It's only somewhat surprising that Zhang would agree to do it.  After all, he loves his native country even though he has made no secret (and bravely at that) about his feelings for the regime.  What's more surprising is that the government asked him to do it.  The Chinese government hiring Zhang Yimou to promote them is rather like George Bush asking Michael Moore to be his spokesman.

Anyway, ExPat, you'll have to be more specific than just "Central Park at 7".  Central Park is 843 acres, bigger than Monaco and Vatican City.  And I'll be there with rapier, smallsword, or sabre, as you see fit.  My training is also in classical duelling rather than sport fencing.  After all, I was doing it back in my Shakespearean actor days and served as fight choreographer for productions of Romeo and Juliet, Macbeth, and Henry V.

Jonathan, of course an ulvbane could break a rapier blade mid-parry.  I would never argue that.  The point, my friend, is that no such parry would ever take place.  I would simply feint from 6 to 4 and quickly pierce your heart while you're still trying to lift that big bloody ulvbane off the ground.  Those things are nice wall-hangers but trying to swing one is a slow, heavy process.

I know you think the Ulvbane is heavy (all things being equal but relative). Give me something, video-ish, that you'd like me to do with it. You'll be impressed at how fast an Ulvbane will get from gardant (think George Silver) to wiping-it-off. I'll go get a small sword opponent, and we can see. You go get an Ulvbane opponent! We'll compare videos. And legal settlements (when our hired lackies get grumpy for losing limbs and other important parts, like their undeserved self images).

Most tellingly, though, an Ulvbane (or a Thegn, my favorite fight blade) isn't made to fight in any other way than with shield. Good luck getting that thrust in from 4, through solid oak. While you're moving, the blade is already dropping from the sky, and as your point buries itself in wood, your arm is falling off above the elbow.

But these are questions that never get answered until blade meets blade. So while it's fun, we'll have to suspend disbelief until we can have a picnic and a swordfight! I dunno about my getting to Central Park anytime soon, though, sorry. California is very far away from there, and most importantly, these Homeland Security weenies won't let me carry-on my most important luggage! The nerve of them.

At its heart, our little game is The Thoroughbred Vs. The Draft Horse. Which is faster? Make the course muddy! Strap Karl Rove to the back of the thoroughbred! Make the draft horse whistle through crackers! It's fun, though.

Boys With Their Toys is always more fun to watch when only pieces get lopped off instead of worlds destroyed and innocent women and children bereft.

I took fencing for some time, and it's HARD and also great exercise! I'd still rather watch Captain Blood or Inigo Montoya (yum!) than all the Olympic swashing you have...competitive fencing is fun for the participants, I'm sure, but it looks more like speed dating for chess freaks to me. Or whatever.

The Olympics is all about the money, the politricks (good term!), and showbiz. I haven't watched in years. I also wonder about spending your life, however short, chasing a few minutes of fame. I've been trying just to spend mine being a better person, a really tough job and no cameras either.

Oh well, who would've thought this issue would be so interesting? That's what I like about this place!