I have always said that my favorite thing about being a dad is the pride. Every day, my little girl does something new and brilliant and I beam.

The whole experience is fascinating. I flatter myself that I'm a fairly reflective fellow and I have often thought back on the differences between having a dad and being one. Everyone talks with horror about how "I'm turning into my parents!" And it's true. In fact, I learned early that all the cheesy, corny, cliche, unwelcome, unwanted bits of advice I got about fatherhood have turned out to be absolutely true.

My dad died when my daughter was one-and-a-half. They lived half a country away from each other and we knew he was on his way out (diabetes is a real killer). We made a special trip specifically for them to meet each other and the photos from that are among my very favorites in the family album. His first words to her were, "Oh, I like you!" They met once more about six months later when we visited for Thanksgiving. She was just beginning to walk and his eyesight was almost gone from the diabetes. But he could see her clearly enough and the last words he said about her were "Look at her go!"

I try hard to remember the lessons my dad taught me and I hope to pass many of them down to my daughter. But the most valuable of them all was his willingness to let me teach him lessons as well. As they say in "The King and I", "If you become a teacher, by your pupils you'll be taught." As I teach my girl the old traditions, I look forward to her teaching me the new ones.

Forgive me for writing a book here but, as you can tell, this is a topic that means the world to me. I know many of you are further along on this journey than I am and I eagerly await your contributions to the day's topic.

I've asked my children not to do anything special for me on Father's Day. I am pleased they have become the people they want to be. I may have provided the guidance but they've achieved their own dreams.

Everyday is Children's Day....I wouldn't want it any other way.

Mr. Peterman,

May I say this....what you have written today is truly beautiful. Thank You, I think my Dad smiled.

Eternal thanks to Dad for giving me his happy, idealistic genes; an inheritance no money can buy because it'll get you though anything. As will good coffee, and knowing how to play a stringed instrument - thank you, Dad, for those things too.

(Right now he's down in Del Rio looking after Mom's stay in the cancer clinic. I hope I get to talk to him this weekend... between her treatment schedule and the time difference, it's been a little tough these days.)

My Dad passed away seven years ago, but he was the most wonderful "Daddy" anyone could have ever asked for. He was all the things Mr. P. said and soooo much more. I am a very fortunate person to have had such a wonderful, loving, fun, friend, and parent. I miss him greatly. My wish would be that everyone could experience the joys of such a parent. That old saying sticks in my mind " Any man can be a Father, but it takes a special man to be a Daddy", and mine was the BEST!

I hope all of you guys have an enjoyable and loving Daddy's Day!

Heiress,
Thinking of you during this difficult time...

To: Heiress,

My thoughts are with you, also.....

To Heiress:

Keep your cheery, healthy attitude. My prayers are with you and your family. Have a wonderful weekend.

Lovely piece, Mr. Peterman. Sounds like it was written from experience...

I remember Daddy's hands, folded silently in prayer and reaching out to hold me, when I had a nightmare. You could read quite a story, in the callouses and lines. Years of work and worry had left their mark behind I remember how they held my Mother tight and patted my back, for something done right. There are things that I've forgotten, that I loved about the man, but I´ll always remember the love in those hands.

His hands were soft and kind when I was crying but hard as steel when I'd done wrong. They weren´t always gentle, but I've come to understand there was always love in them. I remember them working 'til they bled, sacrificed unselfishly, just to keep us all fed. If I could do things over, I'd live my life again and never take for granted the love in Daddy´s hands, but the groping did bother me to a certain extent.

Thank you LaDonna, ExPat, MackDaddy, for your good wishes.

... neocountry, does your rather perverse reappropriation of those nice lyrics hide a true story?

No secrets in the shed for me...that I can currently recall.

My Father ~ We fought each other for years ~ Especially the Teen years. (yes I was mostly a Horrible Child)

I thought for the longest time I was my father's biggest disappointment. in the past 10 years I have learned that I & my sister have & always have been his greatest joy.

It's already been a rough year for my family & right now we are weathering another rough patch but I know my Dad will always be there for us & that he is proud of both of his daughters. That is his gift to us ~ Ours to him is really just plain old fashioned Love.

To Heiress ~ I also would like to extend my thoughts & prayers to you & your family through this difficult time. My family is under the same circumsatnces with our Grandmother at this time.... I understand how much it means to hear that others are also caring for your family in these moments..

Like fatherhood itself, Father's day will always play second fiddle to Mother's Day.......then again if that means no overpriced sunday brunch buffet, with screaming toddlers, drunk grandmas, and poor service then keep on playin'.

Happy Father's Day ! Now bring me a cold beer.

I love my daddy.
My parents had me late [he was 56, I think] so I never got a chance to meet my grandparents [although my father has more than made up for that fact with stories and faded photographs].

I remember 8th grade english class [we were a small class, advanced, and had a young teacher; topics rarely pertained to the cirriculum], we had a half hour discussion on the man our mothers married.
I remember some of the stories, all of which told with a smile and giggle.
"My mom married the stable buisnessman she met in college. Oh, he's not my biological father, but still..."
"My mom married the reckless idiot, and I can't get help with my homework." [I distinctly remember a classwide, sympathetic "Awhh" [followed by laughter, of course]]
"I don't know my dad, but I like to think he's horrible, and that's why I'm better off not knowing. Oh, I know he played the oboe, though."
"My mom married the creep she thought she'd never like at all. I'm not so sure if she does."

Happy almost fathers' day, I got my daddy a fedora.

Heiress:

Everyone else has said it better than I. So I'm just sending you a big hug through cyberspace.

To: Lovey,

I told my kids not do anything special for Father's Day.......but I've changed my mind. I want a fedora!

Knowing my kids, I'll have to loan them the money for it (Ha! Ha!)

This is a song by Paul Overstreet that I've always loved. I think the lyrics
say it all:

Last night we brought the children by to visit their grandpa
And it's plain to see they're truly part of him
While we were there their grandma took out some old photographs
Man he sure looked a lot like me back then

I'm seein' my father in me I guess that's how it's meant to be
And I find I'm more and more like him each day
I notice I walk the way he walks I notice I talk the way he talks
I'm starin' to see my father in me

And today I took my wife for a walk down that old dirt road
Where my daddy took my mom so many times
And we found the time to mention things we never had before
And we shared some thoughts about the family life

Yeah I'm seein' my father in me...

And now looking back I can recall the times we disagreed
When I could not take gold of his old fashioned ways
And the more I tried to prove him wrong the more I proved him right
Now I know why he still stood by me when I went through that stage

I'm seein' my father in me...
And I'm happy to see my father in me

I add my thanks for this wonderful essay. Unfortunately, it is not the dad I had, nor the dad my son had. Although dads may start out to be the men described above, sometimes the angst of their lives gets in the way and they withdraw, or freak out, or run away. These dads also need our love.

To Heiress, my thoughts and prayers are with you as well. I did the cancer dance a couple of years ago..it is never easy. Far too many of us are touched by this ill.

I only saw my Dad cry once.

I was 10 years old and his was the last face I saw when they wheeled me into the operating room. He had tears streaming down his face and I had never seen that happen before. I’ll never forget that image. I felt the enormous depth of his love at that instant, as well as a bit of fear of the operation for the first time. You see, he grew up under very tough circumstances, in very difficult times and did whatever he had to in order to provide for his family. Until he met my Mom, I don’t think he was ever exposed to love and tenderness; so it was difficult for him to express it outwardly, but he sure did in his actions and deeds. I was the baby of a family of six children and there is a twenty year gap between me and my oldest sibling. My Dad died only 5 years later of a massive heart attack. I was 15 years old when the paramedics finally arrived and pulled me away from trying to revive him. He would have been 100 years old this month. I still miss him and think about him every day.

I have my Dad’s eyes, his hairline, and his cholesteral (but taking care of it). I’m told I’ve got his wicked sense of humor as well as a bit of his quick temper. Nothing makes me feel better than when my family tells me I look like him more and more every day.

The greatest gift he and my Mom gave me was to be able to express my feelings openly, so that my sons and grandson always feel, see, and hear of my unconditional love for them. My Dad taught me that the first time I ever saw him cry.

Be well and good fortune to all of you. Especially those who are dealing with sadness or illness in their families.

BTW: I’m taking my grandson to see “Kung Foo Panda” which is definitely one of the top 25 best things of father and grand-fatherhood. Extra butter on the popcorn please.

Greetings. Why is it that on Mothers' day, a large ta-do is made? Get dressed up, go eat brunch, bloody Marys, have all the family around, flowers, etc. But on Fathers' day, you just leave the guy alone and let him get stuff done in the garage.

ExPat: Get the J. Peterman "owners hat" instead. It really helps my attitude.

Capt.Neptune,

It is what it is . . . but the way you describe it actually sounds pretty good to me.

And you get to watch the Celtics finish off things. Or the Lakers make it a series. What better present could you give dad on Fathers' Day.

I spent nine of the first 12 months of my son's life at home with him. I watched him grow and learn and grew to love him in ways I could never had imagined. We spent nearly every day together, so close, and without realizing I spent every night working my way towards leaving him behind. A couple of months after his first birthday I packed all that I could into my red vw bug, closed the door and drove away.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. It was only supposed to be a couple of months before they would join me, in a new place, in a new life. But life doesn't always work out the way you plan, and I found myself alone. I'm no stranger to being alone, but I've never known silence like the silence of being estranged from his voice. No tv or radio can fill the quiet, nothing can match the music of his little voice saying "daddy."

At first I would see him every other month. Then came an almost three month absence. He stopped talking to me on the phone. I didn't feel like I was even a memory to him any longer. I know memories only usually last from about the second year on. I believed that our first year together wasn't even a memory to him any longer.

He had just woken up when I walked through the door. I knew he knew my by his smile. He remembered me. And though I'm once again without him that thought keeps me alive. He remembers me. I'm still his daddy. When things are so bad, so sad that I don't feel I can go on, that word keeps me alive. Daddy. His perfect little smile and his perfect little voice. People ask me how I can bear to be away from him. And the truth is I can't.

Soon after that visit he visited me here. It was a magical time, as though we had never been apart. When he would awake in the morning he would recite to himself a litany of things that excited him, reasons to wake up and not fall back asleep. Airplanes, boats, daddy. He would tell himself "wake up, wake up" until he would rise up and take off.

At the airport before he left he was so comfortable. He was swaggering, confident that he was safe in this wonderous place, because he was with his mommy and daddy. And then just a few short moments later he's watching us cry, hugging us and kissing me goodbye. I can't imagine what that did to him, what thoughts went through his head. I can't get those images out of my mind. Him walking through the airport, his belly pushed out, arms swinging wildly back and forth. His smile. And then the confusion in his eyes.

A few months later when I visited we had a performance at the local library. And during one of the songs which I don't play he saw me sitting there and came over. He crawled up in my lap and we just sat there. Together. He remembers me. And that's my little miracle.

ExPat:

Captain Neptune is absolutely right. Peterman's Owner's Hat is one of my favorite sartorial items in my collection (hats are very important in my work). If Mr. Peterman doesn't have it currently available, or if you prefer wool felt, let me highly recommend this website: http://hats-capsonline.com/contact.html.>

The store is simply called "The Hat Corner" and it is one of my favorite shops of any kind in New York. But they ship everywhere. Enjoy!

First of all, Heiress, All the best to you and your family. I hope you all can find the strength to get through this and grow closer as a result. And we here seem to have become a real support group. Know that you have friends that care.

Now. Yes, I too, had a wonderful father. And I married a man who also became a wonderful father. I feel that what makes such fine men is what anthropoligists call "shared, learned behavior". Kids learn from their fathers and it is passed on to each generation. And our son has really become the best of the crop. He has taken a job that pays much less than he could have gotten but it allows him to be home 4 days/week to be with his daughter and he feels that is so much more important than the extra money. And, Mr. P., you left out one attribute of a good father. Apparently, yesterday, our son wore lipstick all day because it was decreed that it was "Dress-up Day." And he got fussed at because his hair was too short for the hair clips and could he grow it longer.. Just one more sacrifice to add to the expected list.

To: Capt Neptune & DreadPirateRoberts,

Thanks for the advise on the hat. It's always important to have the input of a "captain" and a "pirate" when looking for a hat. This has been passed along to my kids, along with enough money to cover the cost (Ha! Ha!)

Well, as I suspected, you guys have all had me in tears today. Spinner is right about what a great little support group we have become. I was just backtracking a bit, looking at some of the older topics on this board from when I first started contributing. There are so many more of us now, commenting with such passion and delight. Truly, curious minds here have become more and merrier.

Besides loving the piece and the outpourings of emotion about Father's Day including
Neo Country's Donna Fargo's song lyric quote, (pretty sure it's Donna Fargo's song) I particularly liked the picture— Homer being one of the all time great fathers.

Anyone want to share their favorite Homer moment?

Gia,

I would nominate the scene when the religious fanatic neighbors have adopted the kids and they're about to baptize them in the local river. Homer comes running down the hill to rescue the kids. Just as we hear the question, "Do you renounce the devil?", Homer screams, "Nooooooooooooooooo!" and scoops up the kids in the river.

Amazing where these topics can take us!

Yes. Yes. Yes! Thank you so much for reminding that that was my favorites
too. Still LOLing. Thanks.

Picking a favorite "Homer Moment" would be as difficult as selecting a flower from "Monet's Garden". I just gotta stand back and enjoy them all.

Mothers' Day was just a warm up for Fathers'day!