Navigation By Brain Cells

I have been called a bird brain because I will never, NEVER ask for directions. There is justification in this for someone. Not sure who, but someone.

Oh my!! Feng Shui, chi, meridians and all those invisible energy is true afterall!

Paolos, I am very bad at directions too, really really bad

Now I know why there are pigeons stuck to my refrigerator door

One of my cats bought an interesting (dead) pigeon through the cat flap. On closer inspection, it was ringed and the flight feathers were stamped with a telephone number. I called the number and a little boy answered the 'phone.
"Umm~ does your Daddy keep pigeons?"
"No, but Grandpa doth, heeth got loadth of them."
"Is Grandpa at your house?"
"Yeth"
"Can I speak to him?"
(Aside - "Grandpa, thome woman wanth you on the 'phone!")
"Hello?"
"Um.... Hello - I'm sorry to tell you that I have found one of your birds. She is dead."
There ensued a fascinating conversation where I learned more about pigeons than I will ever need to know. As soon as I read the ring number to Grandpa, I learned that the bird's name was Rosie and that she was entered in a race from Brussels(Belgium) to Blackpool(England) - and was on the right track but there had been an awful storm and she must have come to ground, exhausted - cue JAWS music, enter Cat. Poor Rosie. RIP.
 

My husband's grandfather kept pigeons on the roof of the apartment building (read that tenement) where they lived.  Do you think computers and cellphones took the place of carrier pigeons or do any of you still do that?  Nice post, Hazel.  I'm trying the double space to see if that will help, but usually on this computer, all my sentences glob together...we'll see.  Baked pumpkin bread yesterday and the scent still lingers...mmmmm.     Back to directional difficulties.  I, unfortunately, get lost in my living room and even with a GPS device, a trial run and directions, still manage to find yet another way of getting lost.  I read where it came from being forced to use your right hand instead of your left....one more thing to blame our parents for....or maybe the government, RY.

Didn't work, still globbed together.

Morning RY, Hazel, Andy (I caught Paolos earlier) .....that looked like a really late night Roadie, hope it was a good birthday.  Hazel, as always, some of the bestest stories!  Andy! I took your advice and found some really quirkly classes available...there's Japanese Haiku and ceramics, expressive mosaic, snake management & handling (eeeks!), welding (okay, maybe not so useless), successfully single (maybe I should take up the welding), small talk, manners on the menu (open for children too!), Go grid-feed solar (something about harvesting renewable energy...yawn...), and of course, there is belly dancing and pole dancing (in the same school as burlesque dancing, whatever that is)....and the ultimate in uselssness ....."hula-hooping for fun" ...haha...  ...and RY...there was beer making, but I would have to go to Melbourne to learn that     

Morning RY, Hazel, Andy (I caught Paolos earlier) .....that looked like a really late night Roadie, hope it was a good birthday.  Hazel, as always, some of the bestest stories!  Andy! I took your advice and found some really quirkly classes available...there's Japanese Haiku and ceramics, expressive mosaic, snake management & handling (eeeks!), welding (okay, maybe not so useless), successfully single (maybe I should take up the welding), small talk, manners on the menu (open for children too!), Go grid-feed solar (something about harvesting renewable energy...yawn...), and of course, there is belly dancing and pole dancing (in the same school as burlesque dancing, whatever that is)....and the ultimate in uselssness ....."hula-hooping for fun" ...haha...  ...and RY...there was beer making, but I would have to go to Melbourne to learn that     

arrrghhh!! Didnt work for me either Andy. I'm setting this to Blockquote to see if it will.

I forgot my pigeon story. Pigeon restaurants are popular in Hongkong.  One of the most famous is on Lamma Island. It would  typically be braised in soy sauce, rice wine and star anise before being roasted to crispy perfection, really yummy but small, little different from quail.

Paolos, my ex was like that too and it will be interesting to see how many other men here will own up. Andy, have you heard the joke about why the Tribe was wandering around in the desert for 40 years? It was because they refused to ask for directions

oooh...Andy...that might work...Blockquote and double spacing for paragraphing

Spring-for some reason, it works on iPad, but spellcheck "corrects" a little too diligently. I'll try block quote on the PC. Thanks.

You really found some good classes. A friend of mine took pole dancing because, she SAYS, it's a good work out......hmmmmm. Keep us posted. My choice when I stopped working was ceramics and, more recently, drawing. These were things I had always wanted to do and never had the time between work and family. Interesting when, at last, you get to do something just, well, "because".

After I wrote it, I thought I remembered reading about pigeon restaurants.

My late husband belonged to PAOLOS' school of never asking directions..or reading signs...and if he had lived to have one, I am certain he would have refused to use a GPS. Lucky for him that I have an almost idiot savant sense of direction and always know where I am.

My name is Bert. I'm addicted to relying on the WAG to navigate (wild-arsed guess). I only do it with women present, I guess I'm afraid of appearing to be stupid. I hope this 12 step program helps cure me.....

CHEFD..........................are we sure that PAOLOS was/is NOT our husband???????Mine too will NEVER stop & ask & thinks GPS's are for idiots...................what's for brunch?????? I am feeling in a poached mood & might mak a small coffeecake after I drink my needed tea. Warm baguette w/ balsamic & olive oil sounds good too...................maybe a big piece of brie.......................making a mushroom omelet for my better half much later...................
 
Good morning PAOLOS, SPRING, HAZE, RY, BERT, & ANDY...........................

I always used maps which I would diligently check out before a trip.
 
Then came Mapquest. Great.
 
Now I have a Tom Tom GPS and I love it.
 
My ex would rarely ask directions I hope there was someone there to point the way down for him at the time of his demise. LOL!! Or not.
 
 

We may have found a correalation here between sense of direction,and baking. Is it purportionality? What about time sense? When I was young,I had directional sense,but not time sense;I could be off by an hour by guessing. As I got older,my time sense became much more accute,but seemingly at a loss of some of my directional inherant(?sp)sense.

Just signed on - the myriad comments reminding me of why i so enjoy this group!
I'm not a frequent contributor - quite often others have expressed a shared view much more eloquently than I, but I do really relish these posts. ChefDeb ,my better half maintains that I, too, have a somewhat savantish (that'll drive Spellcheck crazy) sense of direction. Unfortunately, the major component is an understanding that whatever direction I intuit, the true path lies in the opposite direction. I just hope it has nothing to do with life paths. I may not always have taken the prescribed route, but the scenery has been "cherse" - never dull!

I haven't seen a hummingbird at the feeder in three days - I believe they, too, are
sensing a magnetic reason to fly on.

And completely off topic: why do some of our favorite memories trigger a sweet
pain? I 'spose that is nostalgia, after all, but it is such an odd pairing of emotion -
a loving memory, often from childhood so long ago, but why does it hurt?

My mother had a great sense of direction.  She was also VERY proud of it, and would tell everyone in the car with her (and, uhm.....she didn't drive was the passenger) how she could always find her way home.  Altho' I'm sure my husband--and others--were willing to test her by dropping her out in the country, she never got a chance to really prove it, just keep telling us about it.    I, on the other hand, am very scared of getting lost and rely on GPS.   That fear only applies while I'm driving and I have no qualms about gadding about--anywhere--even if I don't speak the language.  

Tawny - Welcome! You seem to have the gift of direction, as I have been told I do. When traveling with anyone, I usually become the navigator. Love maps, and will study the map before adventuring into unknown parts, and hold it in my mind, also like the GPS (Garmin), but sometimes disagree with the lady in there, and find my own way better. By the sun angle, I can usually keep a good idea of the way I should go...so, must have some of that pigeon metal in my brain, too! Never knew. Metallic pigeon beaks and brains....good for them!

Took down the hummingbird feeders a week ago....too chilly now. It is 53 at noon today, jacket chilly. Have granddaughter here 4 days, and just returned from an ecological experiment of putting 2 of my largest goldfish (koi?) from the 55 gal. tank (they were picking on the smaller ones) into a neighbor's outdoor pond....We will see if they survive. We took them in a bucket of their own water, and slowly added pond water, and then after about 20 min. poured them into neighbor's circulating waterfall pond with the other goldfish. Time will tell.

Off to make a gray ghost Halloween costume now....cutting, sewing, and fitting cape, hood, drapery,etc.... Like losing Santa, it is kinda sad when little ones outgrow the Trick or Treat age....She's 10 so has about 2 yrs. maybe.

Maybe that was Korthal with the gift of direction....I should read better.

Off subject but thanks for yesterday's birthday wishes! There's not about me that I'd mind the world knowing and certainly not my birthday. I just wonder how you knew?

Moose, I predict you will be surprised at how much your koi grow over the winter. I have 2 outdoor ponds and was able to grow some really mammoth koi until one spring I had to clean the pond and I put the fish in a 500 gallon tank overnight. They were so big, they actually jumped out of the tank and died. Why didn't I cover the tank? Ignorance, I suppose.

Korthal, your moonflower seeds are almost ready to mail!

Tawny, I haven't seen any hummingbirds in 3 weeks at my feeder. They are always such a joy to watch. Todays topic about direction triggered a childhood memory for me. Sweet pain, I get it.

I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16 so I was really anxious the first time I was asked out. He was a really nice young fella, from a good family. He came to our house when he said he would to pick me up. On a motorcycle. I had just come out of my room in time to find my father standing on the front porch, firing his shotgun in the air and screaming at my date to get his a** down the $@#%*^& road. Mortification didn't touch my horror. I ran out the back door to the barn, saddled my horse and rode off into the sunset. I made it almost 10 miles before it was too dark to see anything. Nothing but darkness. I was lost with zero sense of direction. (wow, the irony) I didn't panic, but I just dropped my reins and let my horse lead the way. He took me back to the barn where I found my mother crying in the hayloft.

Bert, don't ever think what you do doesn't make a difference. I'm so glad to have read your posts yesterday and I look forward to reading more from you. It's people like you who make the world a better place.

RoadYacht, I hope you were pleasantly surprised with a wonderful birthday. You are a blessing to me and others. Any woman would be lucky to have a man with your humor, intelligence and integrity. I made it to the club car late last night but I did toast your birthday with a glass of Johnnie Walker Black. I found this link online today and found good humor in it...if you need a laugh, check it out.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-complete-lunatics-guide-to-5-best-sipping-whiskeys/

Have a good Sunday, Villagers! I'm off to move cattle to greener pastures. Despite the cold.

I'm so incredibly sorry.
I just re-read a blog that I shared a link to. If you were fortunate enough to have skimmed by it, please don't go back and pull it up. I'm guilty of scanning through it, hitting only the highlights and not absorbing the content and I'm shamefully and humbly asking for forgiveness for passing it along to others. I feel ill. I deserve all the scolding I'm sure to get for frivolously copying and pasting. I will NEVER post something again that I've not read word for word and actually thought through the consequences of sharing it with others.
I pray to the good Lord above that I've not offended you all, especially RY, to the point of eternal hatred for me as a person. I have a warped, sarcastic sense of humor but that link was completely beyond what I initially read, shared and couldn't take back.

Graygoose~ worry not. I read Cracked,even as a young man, when it was complimentary to Mad Magazine (What, Me worry?). And never be ashamed to point us in a direction. We all have the ability to laugh,and skip, if even down the road, or a paragraph or two.

   The gifts I received were celestial Red winged blackbirds,new to my feeder,and a video birthday card from afar

Being lost on my leisure time has never concerned me. In fact, many great adventures are born of misdirection. But in business punctuality is a necessity and with such unknowns as road construction, airline/rental car snafus, and the Nav lady repeating the same bad info repeatedly, I have retained my Rand McNally Road Atlas, a true piece of science and art complete with coffee and ketchup stains.

It is very difficult for humans to not mix their logic and their gut (magnetic?) feelings together when in the radar mode. There is also the Educated Guess, the Wild Ass Guess, the Deja Vu, and the aforementioned I know where I'm going honey externilization of the I've got no f-ing clue internal reality.

Columbus thought he was going to the Asian Market and ended up in the Caribbean. Actually Chris may have gone exactly where his male senses took him- the first Club Med in the area with rum since the chianti was almost gone.

TT~ and talk about luck, he got here just in time for the Columbus Day festivities and parades!

and then there's the family wedding or funeral you have to go to and you are going to be late because the person driving will not listen to directions (or at least SEEK them).

My father always ascertained the itinerary in advance. If it involved more than a few hundred miles he would get a Triptik from AAA and he always had maps in the Glovebox (as he called it).

I am embarrassed to admit that I have been in a grumpy mood all day being flooded with memories like "you really aren't supposed to pass the Lincoln Memorial six times on your right,." Lollygagging and going where the road takes you is all well and good on vacation, but when you have a schedule to keep it is unacceptable (you have no idea how many other words I have aside from unacceptable)not to obtain precise directions. GUYS!!!!!! WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?!?!?!?! Is it time for a drink yet?

Graygoose~Not to worry. Coming from a long line of f olk with slightly off-center sense of humor, I got a laugh! I've faux pased up myself on more than one occasion, so be at ease, ma'am. I love your posts.

Directions? Turn me round three times and I have no idea. Yes, ChefDeb, it must be time for a drink. What's yours? I'm buying.
It's duvet time over here - tot of Whisky, ruined by toothpaste and I will be asleep very soon. Nos Da, dear people. x

Having my post show double single malt. 15 shows in the bag. The caterpillar rests. Alice in Wonderland took me to imaginary places as a boy took me to psychedelic places as a teen and now it is revisited. The concept of literary-nonsense a la lewis carrol leads my scotch induced mind to say lost and found are in the same box. I do fear no one would offer a reward for this old dog. That's why I wear my id tags.

Hi TawnyP, Everyone has something to say, even if it's just affirmation or otherwise. I indulge in a little nostalgia myself, life always seemed less complicated and happy. I notice I do more of that when I have an uncertain or sad present, so am hoping your case is not like that.

George Hall - I am guilty: I saw it on your Facebook page. I figured if you didn't mind it known there, you wouldn't mind it known here. Thrilled you had a great day! Gray Goose - I love Cracked.com! So glad you brought it up!

TT--your refernce once again to Alice and Lewis Carroll just begs me to tell one of my favorite lines of my daughter when she was @ 5 or so.  Her best frined from school was Alyson.  We had been reading daily from "Alice....." cuddled up in the chair after her school day and one day when I was a tad busy at the usual time she prompted me that she want to read "Alyson Wonderland"***Try as I might I could not dissuade her that it was Alice and not Alyson.   Her loyalty to friends was--and remains--fierce!

Carol- that is beautiful & that is exactly what the old boy would have wanted. He started the tale and imagination was to take over. If only politicians would understand that thinking is an education.

BERT ~ You should read Miss Graygoose's 1:37 and take some pointers from her dad.  A shotgun is a good investment.  I take the Cliff Huxtable approach to "you want to date my daughter?"  I'm Old Yellar asleep on the front porch, and when the young man starts up the steps, I lift up my head and growl and if he takes another step I growl a bit louder and show some teeth.  Maybe a real dog would be more effective.

It is a mystery why men don't like to ask for directions. My man says he thinks its ego, you want to think that you can figure out how to get where you are going. Who knows, I'm like a girl-scout, I want to know where I am going and have directions BEFORE I get going to where I am going ha, it's late and I'm tired,zzzzzzz. Anyhoo, we all get to where we are going one way or the other even if its not where we wanted to go, does anyone know what I am tlking about?? HA

http://images.businessweek.com/ss/05/11/egreetings/image/01.swf ;

This is cute, Happy Thanksgivig early.

I think men don't ask for directions because it implies a failure of his manhood. He knows he is lost, and has gotten really angry with the female next to him because now she knows too (notice how upset and grumpy he is now girls?). Worse, if he stops to ask directions, others will also know he is a failure. When he first started, he was not lost and now he is. And if he can't even drive the vehicle he is in to, to get to where he is supposed to be, how can he be trusted for anything else? What kind of a man is he?! On the few occassions when my ex husband conceded defeat, he made me ask for directions, not from the window, but exit the car, into a shop or a petrol kiosk where no one sees him.  I said, but it will be third hand information when I relay it back to you; so much easier if you do it...nope, won't have it.

I think that is why men makes a beeline in the mall, from the front door to what he wants to buy and then out again...heavens! What if he accidentally gets lost in the cosmetics or ladies' underwear section....arggghhh!!

GPS has leveled the playing field..... Bbuuuuuuwwwaaaaahaahaahaa!

Ha! you are forgetting that men made the maps!!!

Bwahahahahaha!!! Very funny Peter Lake!!
 

ooooo ... I missed Roadie's earlier comment,
 
but Roadie....all maps are started by men who didnt know where they were in the first place....

GRAYGOOSE..................I am missing why you apologized............the blog seems like a 20 something hipster wanna be site..................not offensive....................I might be clueless though............................