Where the Wild Things Are

I'll start the Wild Rumpus with the news that I passed my 1st college class with an "A". I will happily accept any free drinks in the Club Car or anything from the Owners Manual as a congratulations :-)

I love Lombard in My Man Godfrey.

As I sit , tears streaming down my smiling face, I am watching OUR MARS LANDER ARRIVING!!!! now go ahead and tell me again how we trail some other Country in science,math,and,er SPACE!!!!

Just watched the live stream from NASA of the successful landing of Curiosity on Mars, complete with it's first photos. What an incredible achievement, even if you do not support this type of exploration. I see it as one way of keeping hope alive.

I bet these folks did well on their math tests.

Rings, congrats to you! First round is on me......and the second

That's great Rings...congratulations!!! I'm sure I have missed it somewhere,  what discipline are you in?
 
And it is exciting!! Images from Mars!!
 

Well, I had an exploration venture of my own, a colonoscopy done on Friday. Nothing worrisome, just a routine as I am at that age. Today, I got the funniest email ever on the subject which I just have to share..Apologies that it's so long, but it's gold...

ABOUT THE WRITER: Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humour columnist for the Miami Herald.

Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands ofAmerica 's enemies..  I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. 

Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor. 

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experienc  e contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.  After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.

The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough. 

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked..

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep.. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point..

Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.  There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me..  'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colours. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

On the subject of Colonoscopies...
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. Take it easy Doc.. You're boldly going where no man has gone before.

2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'

6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'

8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'

10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'

11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'

12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'

13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

RINGS~ your image (with Tiara)is  free on the coin operated mirror, AND, anyone depositing a coin will be provided with your smiling visage,and then,only after seeing your smiling face,will they be allowed to see their own face, beaming with the pride of AMERICA!!!  WE LANDED ON MARS!! by a sky hook and we did it, 16th in the world of math...

Rings~ Congraulations!
Well done, America on sending Curiosity to Mars.
Spring~ That account of a colonoscopy was hilarious. I cab vouch  for every word the writer said - except I did not have the benefit of tranquilisers or anasthetic, so could add further awful details of the experience. Tomorrow, I have to undergo a bronchoscopy ......

rings90 ~
Yay! The issue was never in doubt.

RoadYacht ~
It is nice that you have been made happy.

Hazel ~
Anything ending in oscopy is a problem. Good Luck tomorrow.

Morning SPRING, STONEY, RY, PL, HAZE, & RINGS......................
 
RINGS..................Congratulations! Since PL has your first two rounds I will make some goat cheese toast rounds..................mmmmmmmm..................
 
SPRING.....................ah yes, you are one of the club now. It is amazing that something so invasive leaves you feeling fine after it's over. HAZE, you had NO nothing? Shiver my timbers...............
 
RY..............my husband watched................
Great day all & who doesn't love silk???????????????????

Hazel - Good Luck tomorrow.  I hope everything goes well.

Nice work, Rings!!! Remember Snoopy's "Joe College" character? Lol

Can't wait to see the new photos of Mars.  Mr. Peterman, what have you got in the owner's manual that goes with the red planet? 

RINGS - Congrats, you should be proud!

SPRING - Glad all is well

HAZEL - Good Luck tomorrow.

Oh Hazel, all best for tomorrow! I hope it's a routine check up and nothing we should be concerned about :)

Spring - Hilarious recounting of the colonoscopy by Dave Barry! I can relate to the entire experience - every 3 years over the past 15 yrs! The prep is the worst part! Glad your own test proved positively informative!

Rings - Congrats for you! Keep at it til you get the degree you want! It's worth it!

Hazel - Will be keeping you in mind for the test on Tues....At least you know more about what it going on inside after you endure all those yucky exams!

PL, RY, et al -- Landing on Mars also makes me proud!! Can't imagine how the govt. cut out the NASA program, but hope we can get it back when we get the current folks out of the White House! Eagerly awaiting those photos of the planet.

On Charmeuse....Sounds lovely, but the price tag is so far out of my budget that I can only stroke its silky sleeve and salivate. Hope you sell lots of them, Mr. P and Co.

O bovver! I just wrote a whole lot of stuff that did a vanishing act!
Silk garments - I enjoyed as a youngster, petticoats and knickers made of looted parachute silk from bomber planes shot down in the South of England. Both British and German.
 

RY, just knew you watched!! BUT isn't the headlines, "Safe on Mars" an oxy moron?!!!

Silk is my favorite!! Not so much charmeuse...sometimes I think it should be real satin! Or rayon or linen or cotton or...

WHAT GRET TIMES WE LIVE IN. Wonder if they will find ancient signs of life. I think they will. Hazel, wow silk knickers, you're the gal!! love it.

Magicangel, are you wondering if they will find ancient signs of life in Hazel's silk...forget I said that, JUST FORGET I SAID THAT. What great times we live in!

Rings90~ Congratulations! Drinks? Heck, somebody should buy you a car!

Spring Fragrance~I just love your endearing sense of humor. I've heard these but usually from the woe-is-me,  self-deprecating male perspective.  One more~ A man is describing the procedure to his friend. "Ther's not as much to it as you've heard...its mostly embarrassing. They put you up on this table , face-down, knees drawn up under your chest, butt in the air and the doctor walks up to you; puts his left hand on your left shoulder..NO,NO wait...he puts his right hand on your right shoulder...You know that S>O>B> had his hands on both my shoulders!!! 

SF- I laughed out loud at your Dave Barry attachment. Priceless.

I had to have my prostate exam a few weeks back. After it was over I asked the Doc if we should hug or something. Of course, he looked at me like I was my fathers son. He remembered my Dad has a similar sense of humor...

I was thinking, if you want to scare young men straight, they should get a finger wave at the first sign of trouble, that'd keep 'em out of jail faster than any tattooed up lifer ever could I imagine.

A prayer for our country's Sikhs.

If you were watching the Olympics last night and missed this, it's a classic. I imagine that the RAGU corporation told an advertising agency, "Look, we can only afford one commercial in primetime, make it a keeper."

How they connected sex and RAGU Spaghetti sauce would challenge even the most jaded and experienced "Mad Man"...

By the way, I will buy some RAGU this week, just because.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RirOGZAA5s&feature=player_embedded

Well you have all said it all. Its a great start to the week. Congrats Rings, SF loved the Dave Barry piece--he is always so funny--and Mars! Holy Go USA!

Bebe--hope the portfolio works, as well as the AC!

Paolos~ Amen!!!

Rings - CONGRATULATIONS!!! 
 
On charmeuse.  I purchased a cream colored, short sleeve, silk charmeuse blouse from an owner's manual years ago and loved it.  I believe it was called the starlet blouse and also came in ice blue.  It was a wonderful piece.  Wish they would bring it back, I er, um, ah, out-grew my previous one.

I have no illustration of the charmeuse blouse Mr. P refers to...is it my computer or are we to refer to the current Owners Manual?

oh I get it, click on the link.. Never mind.

UMMGWA, in fact, I am making speghetti sause as we speak. Took Gracie-baby English Springer Spaniel for her shots and exam today, she did well!! Italians cooking Speghetti are sexy dont you think?? Paolos, maybe Hazel's silk can talk and have ancient life, after all forscencic scientist could find something. Bet they are beautiful!!

Hazel, my fingers and toes are crossed (and now cramping), wishing the best of news and outcomes for you!

Spring Fragrance, Dave Barry is one of my very favorite attitude adjustment authors. Did you know he used to tour and perform with Stephen King and other authors as a rock-n-roll garage band?

Mars Attack.... It was so gratifying to see the spontaneous reaction of joy and celebration on the faces of the NASA folks. The world could use a string of victories in a wide variety of fields, a long winning streak that would nudge us forward on a better path and put some confidence and healthy swagger back in our step.

Hazel, my thoughts are with you. ALl will be well.

In honor of National Root Beer Float Day, we should........well there is really is only one way to pay our respects, isn't there! A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do is the way I look at it.

PETER LAKE:
Is today a hoilday where we have a Black Cow?

I keep a collection of 100% Silk Charmeuse Pocket Squares in solids and patterns that I feel accent wonderfully either a suit or a sport coat. I fold them in various configurations or sometimes just a poof of color dangling in the breeze depending on the setting, professional or recreational or the mood I am in. I got thrown in jail one night decades ago after being a bit too rowdy and there I was with an Archie McNally lavender silk square protruding from my chalk stripe suit. I took some razzing but in the end was retrieved by my brother, the cop. Working in a Men's Store for several years as a second job taught me so much about clothing and perusing GQ and Esquire endlessly has me to this day stroking fabric as I shop with my wife and forever enjoying the look, the feel, and the aura of fashion. The chief reason I came to this site.

My 29 year old son recently told me that there is not one thing in the Owners Manual he does not want (except the ladies fashions, that is). He is not happy with the result of the Wardrobe Sweepstakes!

Korthal,well every day is a day we should honor and enjoy a black cow...but especially on this day-of-day.

Just tell the 'soda-jerk' to keep 'em coming.

Hazel:  for what it's worth, I had a bronchoscopy a couple of years ago when I had some trouble breathing.  It was not painful before or during (drugged w/that stuff that makes you forget the procedure, yet it's not the scary anasthesia where you're out - but let me reiterate, you don't remember a thing or feel anything -ever) - or importantly, afterward.  As I said I didn't remember anything except waking up, I wasn't really groggy, no soreness, no pain.  They took some biopsies when they were down there, tiny little cuts, and I felt only a twinge or two (literally, a twinge feeling) afterward.  The entire thing took 45 minutes, start to finish.  .....  I was surprised I had to go through this "procedure" since I hadn't been in a hospital as a patient since I'd had my daughter 32 years prior, so I was frightened, but please believe me when I say it was not a bad thing to go through.  If it were I'd email you rather than write this, here.   ....   You'll feel fine, and this will help them see what ails you, if anything.  I'm sure like in my case, they'll find nothing, and you'll be better off for the 45 minutes you spent there.  Big Hug, from one who's been there and lived to talk about it. <wink>

I really messed up the spelling of anasthesia, but I don't care, because all of my life I've had to look that word up whenever I used it, and today I'm just not going to look it up, it's just going to sit there, a testament to laziness and ignorance.   

Masters of Subterfuge .......

Rings--Hello and congratulations!  Champagne on me!  Well, I mean I'll buy it!
 
RoadYacht--I join you in a hugh cheer for USA!  Mars, the next frontier!  I can't wait to see/hear what they find.  And to think...there is an almost 7 minute time gap between transmission of information from Mars to here...what a nail biter!!!  Still, our scientists did themselves proud!
 
Hazel--Good luck tomorrow.  I know you must be nervous, but you'll come through it like the champ you are!  Anyone that wears so much silk next to their skin is going to have smooth sailing.
 
Spring--I love Dave Barry!  To me he was second only to Lewis Grizzard (another great southern humorist columnist), but after Grizzard died Barry seemed to grow on me more and more.  Having had several colonoscopies I laughed myself silly (or as the T-shirt says "I laughed until the tears ran down my leg!"), especially over the comments.  I think my comment in my next to last one was "Either you take that (deleted) thing out or I will!"
 
TT--A man of taste AND a fashionista!  Sigh.....
 
Ummgawa--I'm with you...how do you get sex out of Ragu?  Or should I even go there?  Really, it doesn't compare to Wesson oil and rubber....
 
Silk and charmeuse--own pieces of both.  Even looked long and hard at the item Mr. P is takling about...and still thinking about it.  Could kill myself for not getting the "Bombshell Dress" when I had the chance!  Lauren Bacall once said that if she were stranded on a deserted island she would want her ivory silk drawstring pants with her.  What a woman!   HUMMMMM....maybe Mr. P's top with silk drawstring pants from Soft Surroundings....
 
Silk worms are a hoot to watch.  They work so hard...and you can almost SEE the disgust on their little mandibles when their silk is taken away from them!

paolos--a prayer has been sent out not only for our Sikhs and the victims of the Colorado shooting and their families.  These things seem to come in waves...I wonder why?  One giving the other the idea?  The "courage?"  The insanity?

IVAN ~ I have to ask.   NASA, the Sikhs, The World Economic Forum, or Colonoscopies?

Of the 253 boats registered to fish in the White Marlin Open in Ocean City Maryland, on the first day today only 10 went fishing.
Never heard of such a low number going out on any tournament day.
With over 2 million dollars in prize money it had to be a bad forcast to keep those fishermen at the docks.
The weigh-in started at 4 pm but so far no fish.
You can watch a live stream at www.whitemarlinopen.com.

PARK...............that is one of those words where no matter how long you look you are always second guessing yourself. I had something similar two xmases ago............they went in & widened the ol' esophagus. And strangely enough it was as you said, no pain. Rather amazing.
 
PL & KORTHAL are buying root beer floats & Black Cows in the clubcar tonight..................mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm................................oh yeah!
 
HAZEL...................best of luck tomorrow, you know we will all be thinking about you! Say this rhyme as they are putting you out, " I see London, I see France, I see my silk underpants.................."

How many kids had skivvies imprinted "Property Royal Air Force?"

Or.....'pull cord to open chute'.....

Ginger, Peter Lake....et al,....I now have the Dave Barry column bookmarked. PL, you are right, he is a great attitude adjustment author!
 
Park..it takes a lot of thinking for me to spell diarrhoea
 
Hazel....yes...plenty hugs!

Thank You all, I would have never had the courage to attempt any of this without the cheering of this wonderful village.

Hazel I want to fly over there and just hear all about your life. Silk parachute bloomers... I am jealous and it really doesn't matter which country it came from.

Spring Fragrance you know what they say about an ounce of prevention, uncomfortable it maybe.

I have no doubt there will be clean bills of health for both Hazel & Spring.

Nachista - that blouse could be kept safe for you here in WI.

Walk. Grill chicken w sun dried tomatoes and parmesan. Drink Longboard Ale. Watch The Closer. Have Skinny Cow Choklit cone. Pet cats repeatedly. Sleep. I sometimes like evenings in itty bitty pieces.

Had that for dinner last night, prepared by my own Iron Chef husband, chicken paillards with tomatos and this amazing cheese, the kind we usually can't buy here in rural Wisconsin...and basil was in there somewhere, excellent dinner, light but filling, and my husband is really getting good at this cooking thing.  I would burn such slim cuts of chicken without a doubt, but he cooked them to perfection.  I love having my own personal chef..........AND BEBE, I'll never remember how to spell that word.  It feels good not to care.  So you had an esophogealoscopy (laugh out loud at that spelling)?   ...  I guess we all have some kind of oscopies sooner or later.  And better sooner than later, although not at all would be the best option.  HAZEL, you'll do fine.  "Isn't it time for Nos Da?" ,nags the mommy in me....<hug>

P4- Sleeping with the Iron Chef is a huge fringe benefit I say.- rings89+1- kudos indeed. Great joy there is for those who are lifetime learners as there is so much to take in but every now I feel the need to view life as Ferris Bueller's day off.

Rings you're too late.  My snarky 19 year old niece who never passes up an opportunity to tell me just how uncool I really am has already claimed it.  For me being a tragically uncool person she sure takes a lot of my clothes when i've outgrown them.

Pasta was great with a little eggplant parm on the side, South American wine, garlic bread and my favorite man. Night all!

Soccer minutes and intraocular injections have a similar level of appeal which is to say, little.
Today, by some stroke of luck, we tuned into the USA, Canada olympic women's game with about twenty minutes to go and Canada up two to one.
In those remaining minutes, our girls tied it, went behind by one… again and tied it again at three.
With thirty seconds to go in the extras of the extra, they scored the killer in what was the best part of a soccer game we have ever seen.

Imarjorie ~
Speaking of root beer floats, we had a great one at Northpoint two Friday's ago. I called your name. You did not answer.

Ummgawa ~
Your children should be so lucky to be as cool as their ps.

I am reading Dave Barry's column while having lunch. I swear I will die laughing

STONEY..........................I meant to tell you regarding your swimming official story................where you told the kid he was disqualified for cursing. You are correct, if only a parent or an official (every time!) had stopped the behavior we would not have some of the spoiled, abusive athletes that we have. Their behavior is appalling & once a certain age is reached, almost impossible to change.
 
I wanted to thank everyone for their kind wishes Sunday evening. It was much appreciated.............

Stoney--I thought I heard something...