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February 09, 2012
When Jimmy Cagney smashed a grapefruit in Mae Clarke’s face in the 1931 "The Public Enemy," it didn’t help matters.
After all, it was only a grapefruit, and even this being National Grapefruit month where we're supposed to be nice to this 18th century hybrid, it probably won't stop that involuntary pucker.
So what is it about this fruit that originated in Barbados that causes such annoyance in some circles?
We can probably start with that invigorating taste.
It’s amazing that this ancestor of the sweet orange and Indonesian pomelo has a fan base at all.
And that it does.
It probably has something to do with developing that patented red color in the Texas Ruby-Red, (which was literally patented in 1929 in Texas) and this is the month where they're at the peak of sweetness.
So to speak.
If you weren't ready to begin the day, for instance, a few grapefruit segments, with or without sugar, while your coffee is brewing can wake you up.
It's just like taking a cold shower.
Grapefruits are also loaded with Vitamins A and C and a good source of fiber and potassium.
But don't think grapefruits are something you just avoid for breakfast.
You can also broil the halves with a little sugar, add a few segments in a salad, make a Texas Ruby Sweet Grapefruit Pie and enhance just about any cocktail with an unexpected touch.
I suspect this discussion might have some juice to it.
I am the proud owner of two and a half acres of grapefruit groves here in California. The t...
-Dash
Feb. 09, 2012 8:19 PM
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Ah, Texas Ruby Reds.
How long since you've eaten one?
Well, that's too long.
Been a spell since I have had one too.
Gonna make things right.
Gonna buy some today.
Had one this morning, and yesterday,too
I have at least one Ruby Red every day, and usually a Pint of Grapefruit juice too ... Have done so for twenty-five years or so, which is probably why my Cholesterol has never been above 102 even tho' I have a High Fat Diet ... And a Grapefruit & Avocado Salad with a little Poppy Seed Dressing is a delightful palate cleanser, to prepare one for the next course, or Dessert ....... I suggest avoiding Dry Wines to accompany .......
I love grapefruit. My grandfather used to have ruby red grapefruit shipped to him from Texas every year. After he passed away, my mother continued to have the cases of grapefruit shipped to her. I didn't follow up on these shipments, instead waiting for them to hit the stores, then I stock up on them, buying dozens at a time. I have a juicer, so I make fresh grapefruit juice every day. Tonight I peeled the last of a batch of Texas Rio Star grapefruit that I was keeping in a closet...no kidding...the closet stays nice and cool , so they last a long time....the peeled fruit is in a container in the fridge for whatever suits my fancy....but it's also a reminder that I need to go shopping for more!
Great salad, Ivan....and yes, grapefruit is a very healthy fruit. and so delicious...without any added sugar.
Lookin out my hotel window in Lake Zurich and had me some 4 a.m. Grapefruit Cogitations about a place closer to the equator. When you belly up at one of those old oak bars in a tropical clime and you order up a Salty Dog, the essential grapefruit has you singin' Flatt and Scruggs "Let me be your Salty Dog or I won't be your man at all". Then you move to Mr. Buffett-Grapefruit, bathin suit, chew a little Juicy Fruit..wash away the night...good for your soul 'sleep interuptus'.
Good morning LOT, RY, IVAN, TT, & JANE! I am not a big grapefruit eater.............I just don't think of them. IVAN, you have to be a testament to the glories of the grapefruit.
When I would go for extended visits to my grandparents' in the summer one vivid memory is always waking up to my breakfast place setting complete w/ a sectioned grapefruit waiting for me. And my grandfather always placed a .50$ piece underneath the grapefruit, so it was very exciting...........................nice memory to think about.
JANE....................long timeeeeeeeeeeeeee no seeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I am dreaming, as I struggle to awake ( just poured my morning tea) of napping. Maybe we could find an island where you nap to your heart's content.....................just soft, drift away naps........................great to see you, I hope all is well your way.....................
Great day to you all!
Grapefruit are delicious....no, the grapefruit diet...that our 50's Moms endured because it was vogue thing to do...doesn't burn fat..they are a packed Vitamin C healthy choice but eating too many grapefruit means.too much acidity and that is not good...I always buy ruby reds...for the sweetness; I am grapfruit grateful to be going snow skiing and swimming today...the snow is wonderful the Blue Jays are hanging out ing the Hemlock Pine Trees...the moon is as big as a grapefruit today, yea...smiles are happy and friends in the village...are happy! : ) ....Enjoy your celestrial seasonal day..!
Today is cold with a damp fog that gets into your bones. Not a grapefruit day. Porridge with honey. And coffee and keeping warm indoors with the company of your good selves. Empty half grapefruit peels are great contaiiners for pouring off excess cooking fats, add stale breadcrumbs, the dregs of packs of cereal, the remains of cat food that your fussy feline refuses to eat - leave to set and put them out on your bird table. A feast for the little feathered friends who struggle to find food during cold weather.
Just remembered~ I used to make grapefruit halves with a thick coating of brown sugar with butter and bung them in a very hot oven 'till the sugar caremelised. Very nice with a dollop of Creme Fraiche. I can only do this dessert for two as I have a pair of rather elegant sterling silver pointy-ended grapefruit spoons, stolen by one of my brothers when he was an apprentice chef at the Savoy Hotel in London.
haze, I warmly remember porridge being included in our full English breakfast on our first trip to England many years ago. Helped make our day.
And your "bird table" comment reminded me of a breakfast we had on a patio outside a B&B on that same first trip. The lady serving us placed some bits of toast on the patio floor and said:
"Something for the birds."
We peel them like oranges and eat them that way.
Oh, Hazel, (whisper -- I too have a spoons that, somehow found their way, falling off of the table I'm sure, and unbeknownst to me, into my purse)....
Ivan ~ but the zits from all the acid -- have to limit how much I can have or I'd be eating it all day.
Naughty girl, Andy!
Ruby Red was a bit sweet to suit me but the almost white, tart Duncans from Florida were perfection.
Sadly, they are proscribed as conflicting with something prescribed and off the menu.
Two elderly and well-off women breakfasted together in the English room at the downtown hotel and every morning, one of them would make a bit of a fuss about wanting her grapefruit juice squeezed from peeled fruit and she got it.
The other lady was indifferent on the subject but jacked hers up a notch or two with an ounce of clear liquid from a small medicine bottle kept in her purse.
She used a different colored liquid to fortify her coffee after which, she seemed to undergo a personality change: "There you are. I knew you were somewhere but did not know which where."
Every now and then some random young person comes across the grapefruit knife in my drawer and says "Whats wrong with this knife?"
A half grapefruit to begin breakfast was a way of life in our family. There were 2 tricks to remember...not to be in the kitchen when they needed sectioning, and how to sprinkle some sugar on when no one was looking.
A glass of chilled grapefruit juice is incredibly satisfying, add some vodka and a splash of cranberry juice and its heaven.
After taking Procardia for 20 years for blood pressure, one day I pick it up at the pharmacy and it has a label on it that says "do not eat or drink grapefruit or grapefruit juice." What?!
Nothing wrong with puckering up, BUT... do be careful when on certain meds. "Eating grapefruit or drinking grapefruit juice can cause some medicines to enter your body faster. Interactions can happen up to three days after eating or drinking grapefruit." If you don't know about the meds you are taking, check the label and/or ask your pharmacist.
Years ago a neighbor was the classic klutz. He could do nothing in the Mr. Fix-it line and hence is wife became very adept at not only domestic duties, but all the other odd jobs of home ownership. One afternoon she was out and left the children at home napping while her husband was catching up on some office work he'd brought home--or so she thought. Upon her return she was greeted by a beaming husband holding a straight serrated knife in his hand proclaiming, "Look hon! I straightened out your knife!!" She thanked him. And bought a new grapefruit knife the next trip to the store. After years of mandatory grapefruit with breakfast I left the habit behind and rarely partake anymore. Pomelo is a milder (for me) version of grapefruit and I've had some Blood Oranges lately with a distinct tang of grapefruit. I don't dislike the fruit, but don't often eat it now--perhaps because now I and not my mother--would have to do all the sectioning work and take the squirts in the face!
Grapefruit butter, in place of lemon butter, is wonderful with grilled or steamed lobster
and other simply prepared seafood.
For you T.T http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWRFSgTQUh0
I wonder how long paolos aka Syd aka Juliet can keep quiet?
Chef Deb ~
That's exactly what I was talking about… dammit!
On the bright side, the grapefruit knife makes an excellent bowl reamer.
bobedaone, welcome.
A backward glance in which William Wales, Duke of Cambridge, looks a bit thin up top.
http://www.cnn.com/2012/02/08/world/americas/falklands-life/index.html?hpt=hp_c2
Welcome to BOBEDAONE!
Aloha Bebealoo.
****
MB- Grassyass and pink Grapefruit salutations-this old pirate looks at 60 and hopes I am still swashbuckling when I hit 3 digit figures.
Welcome Bobedaone!
Grapefruit - eeewww - pucker pucker - it must be the toothpaste
Being originally from Fla., I have my grapefruit knife (curved of course), and a set of grapefruit spoons (serrated on the ends to dig out the plugs). Citrus for breakfast is a must, and I prefer pink or red ones when we can get them. Or just get the jar of DelMonte sections already removed! Yum!
So right about the meds and the citrus, though. My allergy tabs have a warning label :Do Not Take With Citrus drinks." Guess the acid is too much.
Remember my grandmother telling a story of a lady she knew in Woodville, FL who died after eating a "bait" (lot) of raw oysters and then several oranges and grapefruit....The local wisdom being that raw oysters and citrus cause a toxic gastric combo! Wonder if this old wives' tale has any chemical validity, or it was just her time to go...
What a brilliant page this is! I take allergy tabs and my digestive system goes crazy if I eat citrus. I'd never put 2+2 together! Thanks for that bit of info. I was tempted yesterday to write an essay on colonoscopy, but thought better of it. Is poulos/goldfish/Syd going through the Manopause or something? Like I said on our recent House Of Cards day, if you have leave the room, don't slam the Aaaarrrrgggghhh! The village would be a lesser place without him.
O, bovver ~ paolos. Lots of love if you are reading.
You know how you can be sitting in a room at twilight and someone comes in and switches on a particular lamp and you think "oh, thats MUCH better"--thats what its like when PAOLOS joins us.
Sybil ain't going anywhere. He/she/they know that we have agents everywhere to reel him/her/them back in anyway.
OT but...
The Washington Post crosswords are presented online for printing in a format that seems long overdue: the normally ink intensive dark squares are rendered in light gray.
What a nice idea. Now, if they were just a little more challenging…
Well you're the Alpha STONEY, there is no Village without you and what you say, goes.
VIolet.... Very nice post!
Ivan, I knew you were a grapefruit eating' guy. Your healthy systems allow you to enjoy so many things that are involuntarily off the list for others. good on you my friend!
Miss Blue, thanks for the grapefruit on sea food tip. I used lemon/lime but never considerd......
Haze, allergy tabs are bad news for me too. My Doc put me on a nasal spray and it effective and less intrusive.
Hiya hiya, bebes and all.
Peace out.......
MISS ANDY: Zits are just Cholesterol that erupts out thru the Pores, because of the Hormonal Changes experienced during Puberty, or sometimes Pregnancy ... and in rare instances during bouts with Allergies ....... Better it should get out than to find a vascular wall to stick to .......
Allopathic Medicine warns us against Grapefruit and Grapefruit Juice, because if flushes all sorts of crap out of the Human Body, including Medications ... Yes, some people do have adverse reactions to the removal of the Chemicals that may have been prescribed, but in general, if Conventional Wisdom from Allopathic Medicine were ever to admit that Grapefruit does a better job of removing crap from the Human Body than the Presciption (and usually Synthetic) Medicines/Chemicals do ... how the hell would Park Davis, Squibb, Lilly, Maltbie Labs, Pfizer, and all others of that group of Economic Rapists be able to keep gathering wealth with their Ten-Thousand Percent Mark-Up junk, for which the only semblance of good in their offering is that they suggest a controlled Dosage ...
Theophrastus Phillipus Aureolus Bombastus Von Hohenheim, who fortunately(for his Bookie) shortened his Name to, PARACELSUS ... was a 16th. Century Swiss Physician, who became known as, "The Father of Toxicology" ... He show'd us clearly that Medicines, even the Natural ones, were ultimately Toxins, if used improperly ... "The Dose Makes the Poison ..." he said ... He has been proved correct thousands of times, some times with the help of the Borgias .......
Kabbalah is loaded with a List of all things God put in and on the earth for us to use, and He told us how to use them ... Once some evil Genius figured out that he could crate a demand for, "Medicines" by scaring the crap out of the Rubes with a litany of "What If's" ... he soon realized that Supply was Limited on some things, so he went to an Alchemist and found out how to Synthecize things ....... and a lot of Potions and Tinctures were made with Wine, and produced a noticable effect on the Body, which convinced the Rubes that something was indeed happening, and it was assumed that what was happening was a cure ....... Bought the Practitioner enough time for the Body to heal itself and he was look'd upon as a Hero !!! Undsoweiter .......
The more some things change ... the more they remain the same .......
Don't worry about Zits ....... Enjoy the Grapefruit !!! My BP is 110/60 Cholesterol 102 Blood Sugar around 93 TriGlycerides too low to measure .......
Whatever changes you make, make them slowly and observe intensely all the while ...
Who knew anyone disliked grapefruit? I had a glass of grapefruit juice this morning, which is the norm for me. Grapefruits were eaten "as is" (no sugar) last week, when I bought a bag of them, since someone told me oranges from Florida had a bit of fungicide added down in Brazil where it seems Florida oranges grow - no problem in this house, we love grapefruit. Grapefruit segments make a good pairing with avocado served over that butter lettuce (?) and topped with a bit of something sweet as a dressing, I mix mayo or yogurt with a little fruit or sugar and half and half - and drizzel just a bit over the top. Tis very very good.
IVAN, hello there! Good advice as usual.
PARK4 we love our grapefruit, avocado & butter lettuce salad with toasted pecans, gorgonzola cheese and a lemon vinaigrette. to quote Miss BEBE mmmmmmmmmm
MISS PARK4, & CHEFDEB : Y'all are really makin' hungry for simple summer stuff !!!
Its cool enough here that I'm makin' a Big Pot of Cock-a-Leeky Soup(from Hazel's area) and Knishes for Supper tonite ... a Favorite of the Krewe ... with lotsa Coldbeer and Dago Red for Bellywash ...(all Kosher, of course) but I shore am thinkin' a lot about Grapefruit & Avacado Salad, with Poppy Seed & Honey Dressing, as a Side Dish ....... Soup & Salad, with Knishes the size of a Bread & Butter Plate ....... and since I am doing Perashki, Bokharian Knishes ... I am making fresh Tamat to drench the Knishes with ... a simple Gravy made of pulverized Tomato, Onions(Vidalia, in this case) two good slaps of Butter and a mitt full of Cilantro ....... Lotsa fresh, crack'd Black Pepper too !!! Supper is nearly ten hours away ... I may have to serve a few whores ovaries for a Nosh .......
whores ovaries!!! IVAN you are SOOOOOO funny!
You know what? All these years I thought Jimmy Cagney shoved the grapefruit half in Mae WEST's face, not Mae Clarke. It makes me realize that the scene is so famous I probably have not actually seen it!
IVAN:
I'd love it all except the cilantro. Don't like the stuff, Could I have mine with Italian parsley?
It's
cocktail hour in the Club car
In honor of the
grapefruit ( or "greatfruit" as I called it as a young child), we are serving
your choice of the following:
Greyhound(
vodka...or Gin... n grapefruit juice), Salty Dog( greyhound with a salty rim),
Italian Greyhound( with Campari Bitters), Fuzzy
Greyhound( a little peach brandy or schnapps)Salty Chihuahua( tequila n salty
rim),According to the When you add Midori Melon Liqueur to
any drink, you are giving the recipe "Balls." Example...Salty Dog...oh I just
can't say it!
Trolling for
paolos.....http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/arthur-bigboy-crudup
Korthal--at last-a kindred spirit. I do not like cilantro!!! As vogue as it is to put it on everything, I do not like it one bit. And I always, always have Italian parsley on hand!
I'm with Korthal - never liked Cilantro, but Italian parsley or the curly kind... mmmmmmmmmm.
I love to peel Grapefruit and eat it "out of hand". Lucky to be from Texas and get my ruby reds here in the state. I frequent a farmer's market and there are lots "urban farmers" with citrus trees. I have my own, but they haven't born any fruit, yet....
IVAN - that salad sounds scrumptious! Poppy seed honey dressing, I am going to have to look up....
ANYTHING with Avacado on it is automatically delicious!
I think cilantro tastes like soap. Its not on my list either.
Chef Deb----Soap-exactly!!!! When I went to Thailand they served my meal aboard the plane and when they lifted that little lid?-----I just said NO THANK YOU! and settled back for more shuteye. I didn't know what it was then, but have subsequently found out and nosireesir, I will not touch anything that has been even close to something with cilantro! I might have ONCE have had my mouth washed out with soup as a kid--can't recall for sure--but as an adult, I will not willingly submit to such a foul taste in my mouth!
I am the proud owner of two and a half acres of grapefruit groves here in California. The trees must be at least 80 to 100 years old and they bear the sweetest grapefruits I have ever tasted. We grow the white ones. So no ruby red nonsense here. Just pure sweet nectar. I irrigate the grove as often as I can afford to. The dogs and the chickens love irrigation day, running up and down the furrows in ecstasy. Not so much for me. After 6 hrs. of rugged work, making sure water flows to all the trees but does not flood the yards or roadways, I am then forced to carry each pup inside for a long scrub to get all that Southern California sand out of their Cocker Spaniel feathery fluff.I go through this about once a month during the dry spells, so you know I pray for rain. But it is worth the work keeping this place going. One of the last groves in Fontana. And passed from mother to daughter. I will make sure it is in good order when I am ready to pass it to its next caretaker. The grapefruit does not need to be a sour fruit; its sweetness is all in what you make of it.
more on the honor rollThere is no amount of cilantro so minuscule as to not ruin everything near it.
Someone asked if I thought I could keep it down.
The better question is how or why would anyone get it down?
ChefDeb ~
That alpha stuff sounds like it might entail responsibility of some sort and I would be okay with : no running in the halls and no running off but no running on could be impossible to enforce if you know what I mean.
Stoney, ChefDeb, Carol I really like cilantro and don't detect a soap tase, but rather a citrus one. Maybe it's a genetic thing like a being a PTC taster or something similar.
I've read/heard of specific taste profiles.....those most likely to reject cilantro will readily embrace dark chocolate and red wines.......of course, there are some other flavor/tastes, but those are the ones that stand out for me
I think cilantro tastes clean. I don't know how else to describe it, it's just clean tasting. Go figure.
Not like industrial clean-er clean, but good clean.
Carol,anyone not embracing red wine and dark chocolate has problems...lol
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/14/dining/14curious.htmlyep, Carol, it's genetic.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/14/dining/14curious.html
asorry
Miss Blue---I recall that 'bedbug' reference from something I read a while ago......I don't, however, agree with the author that cilantro pestos can be mild, since I actually had to get some out of my mouth (yes, spit!) at a social function when I was blind-sided! I actually ate some Mexican food in California last October that had the 'offending' herb in it.....and it was relatively mild (or I was ravenous--take your pick!). And, it wouldn't surprise me to find that it was genetic. However, with Finn/German ancestors it would be difficult to find too many recipes calling for cilantro.......I, however, do enjoy Middle Eastern and Mediterranean cuisines to a great extent. But, bah! humbug! on Asian.....and I really have tried, believe me. I enjoy Tex-Mex a lot, but sans cilantro, please. And yes, anyone who does not embrace red wine and dark chocolate has my sincere sympathy. Oh wait! Not so much.........since their displeasure leaves so much more chocolate and wine for those of us who do cultivate those deep dark wonderful tastes. Thanks for the article!
MISS BLUE--what an interesting article! I feel so....validated! I'll bring the dark chocolate and red wine to the club car tonight.
CarolI'm sure your ancestors used coriander...the seeds of cilantro; a totally different taste.this looks de lish!http://www.matchingfoodandwine.com/articles/20090408_1 ;
I'm game.......ChefDebjust when are we having our eyesters convention?
Bien Trucha lunch today in Geneva, IL- The best Mexican Food in the country-
Watermelon Guac for openers then Cazuelitas and mini tacos with steak and pork- cilantro in every dish along with every other flavor under the sun including pineapple and a selection of cheeses and spices.
MMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...........bring on the smorgasboard!!! Curious, though, about the mint and lemon flavorings that I always connect with much warmer cultures. The cukes sound oh so familiar, however. The family, having settled in Michigan, didn't have access to salmon during the pre-depression and depression days, so any fish dishes were always based on the catch of the Great Lakes: hence, my abiding love of wall-eye and perch. Miss Blue, herbalist and great cook, are also a font of information!
Greetings and salutations to one and all! I cannot believe it! Not one of you grapefruit lovers mentioned placing that little red jewel of a Maraschino cherry smack dab in the center of that lucious fruit. Then, just a little coloring of the cherry juice on top to complete the whole set-up. LUSCIOUS!!
Ivan, mentori mio, what a gastronome you are dear. You should write a book on the food subject and we would all rush to get a copy.
I shall now hie myself off to yon club car for some refreshment and bask in the conviviality. SALUTE!!
Dash~ I remember as a child staying with friends who had a citrus plantation - the trees were in blossom and smelled divine. They had to start up a cranky old generator to power the irrigation pump and us kids got covered in mud helping the water go where it was supposed to. The wearing of clothes was pointless, so we got hosed down before going indoors to dress. Happy days.
I can't believe y'all let that flea bag Syd
bamboozle you. The mangy cur. If I had half a mind, I'd...well why not...For
Sale one mangy mutt...no strike that...free to a good home...hell, free to any
home...name your price to cart him off. When Syd first wandered into my path, I
thought he was something special, but he's not. He just makes stuff up and
expects everyone to believe him only because he has that pitiful hang dog look
on his face. I'm tired of being the butt of his jokes. Such nonsense and
drivel. Could anyone believe that I would hang out at the Victoria's Secret
website for more than a day? Maybe that's a poor choice of words but y'all know
what I'm saying, maybe.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0uzbn1KT64
ChefDeb ~ That was such a nice sentiment you
expressed about me and I am much obliged for it. I'm not one to make a habit
of editing others but I believe you did misspeak earlier @ (1:45) it sounds
like...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8fykuW4IHk ;
If I'm not mistaken, that would be TMBWITW on the
ivories.
Hazel Leeze...just got home at Midnight...check the posts...I will try your grapefruit recipe..I like your idea on recycle methods on the grapefruit rein...using it as a bowl...and i like that you are letting us know about the weather and the extreme coldness...I am praying that all that are affected by bad weather are giving thought to, and recieve aid to help them through this frigid climate of weather...I saw the pictures in Venice..Paolos...you and Syd..what a wonderful story ...bamboozle....like this... Everyone's posts and videos, too..ejoyedI had a great day of skiing from 9:30 to 10:000 the snowboarders are so fast..alot of powder but when the high school kids came by busloads they are mostly snow boarders...the whiz by and do so much swooooching...they scrape the powder to ice and at night-time..harder to ski..i am going back tomorrow to ski again..i swam..i am making extreme efforts to get into shape ...I took my time..just getting the whole makeshift..outfit..bandanas a must triangular wrap on the face like a bandit..and ski gargles...? too late to correct..sp. a rule that i have: if you try to exercise just the preparation alone is a form of activity,,,then try your best..to accoplish an exercise task..whatever level or intensity...you will always..win...at accomplishing a exercise task..Believe me I warmed up my muscles today..yea!
The cilantro thing must be a result of mouth chemistry or something and it is a little surprising that no one referenced J. Peterman's earlier Eye piece on that very topic.
I dream at night of forbidden grapefruit and while many of you may enjoy it for breakfast or brunch tomorrow, I will be lunching with the very lovely rings90 and you won't.
She and the (other) Beauty with the same birthday on Saturday ought really to be more than enough to declare it a holiday.
I'll be going up now and that's another thing.
PARK....................How odd that you would classify cilantro that way...................the only thing I enjoy cilantro in is salsa and the more cilantro, the cleaner and fresher the taste. I completely agree, it's just this bright, clean thing...................
STONEY....................my mother-in-love is squarely in your corner....................she finds it utterly repulsive....................
MISS KORTHAL: Parsely works just fine, if you prefer ... I'm sure the Bokharian Jews first used Cilantro for the Tamat, to chase after that "Clean" effect that MISS PARK4 mentioned, to molify the Musk of the Lamb in the Knishes ....... But, as Jean Batise say, "Ever Body Gotta Pole Dey Own Pirogue ..." .......
MISS PENELOPE: The Grapefruit&Avacado Salad with Poppy Seed Dressing has been around since before I got here ... but adding a little Honey to it was something my Great Aunt Clara would do, to the delight of all who tasted it ... and because she was a Married-In Shiksa, we were all surprised quite pleasantly(and with great guilt) when before she assembled the Salad, she flash-fried the Grapefruit Sections in Pecan Smoked Bacon Drippins ....... She was a Hardshell, Feet Washin', Free-Wheelin', Dinner-on-the-Ground Baptist ... who fell in love with a Texas Jew-Boy ... just like me ... She made every effort to Learn to keep a Kosher House ... but sometimes her Texas Roots would zing somethin' by if she wasn't payin' attention ... To save faces, for those of us who really liked it, she would say it was Armadillo Drippin's , not because Armadillo is Kosher, but because there is no specific prohibition against it in Kashrut Law ... Most of the Kashrut Laws were given to us by Moshe, not by God ....... God gave specific directions about what animals we could use, and how to use them, which included Rules for the Shoket and Preparation ... Not only did Moshe stutter, but he decided, These Yids are never going to remember all of this, or be able to follow it, so I'm just gonna tellem thay can't have it. Treif, Forbidden, a violation of Kashrut Law ... And his job was suddenly made easier ... But since God was Covenanted to Moshe, he had the Authority to do that ... It was centuries later that God did away with that portion of the Kashrut Law, by dropping a Giant Movie Screen on the Roof of the House of a Centurian named, Cornelius, running all the Four-Footed Animals across the Screen, and telling Kepha, "Kill and Eat ..." Dutifully, Kepha protested, "No No Lord, ... Nothing unclean has ever crossed my lips ..." God said to Kepha, " Listen Knothead(more or less) What I have told you is Clean ... You Do Not Dare Call, Common ... Now, Kill These Things and Eat, Because Dead Prophets Do Me No Honor ..." Thus were the first stirrings of Conservative Jews, away from Orthodoxy ... and the invention of the BLT on Drawn-Butter'd Rye(rather than Mayonnaise, and fresh Baby Spinach rather than Lettuce) .......
MISS ANAM CARA: I Thank You for your Notice ... Having been the only Jew growing up in a Neighborhood of Neopolitans, I not only learned to cook Kosher, but Italian too, and authentically ... Accordingly, my Sybaritic weaknesses develop'd right along, and the First Book I ever wrote was call'd, "The Broke Batchelors Guide to Gourmet Dining" ... My Publishers loved it, but told me the Presentation made it look like, "Kitchen Pornography" and the world was not ready for such a thing ... They told me to take all the Text out, and just put in the Names of Dishes and the Ingredients, and the Recipe for Preparation, and resubmit ... It was all done by Mail, and on an Ancient Smith Corona Typewriter, and the Publisher had no idea that they were dealing with an Eight Year Old Kid ....... Years later, I got Galley Copies from a Vanity Press, but no one would Publish it ... so I sold a few, gave a few away as Gifts, and the remainder were destroyed in a massive Flood that hir Houston about ten or twelve years ago ... When I went searching for one of the Gift Copies I'd given away ... No one seemed to be able to remember who they had lent it to ...
All the Dishes described are superb, so it couldn't have been that the Food was Bad ... and it became another confirmation to me of the fact that ... and with Rare Exceptions ... I don't really like People ... and God, with His rye sense of humor, has had me in a People Business all of my life ... Serving People, of all sorts, in all sorts of ways ... So, the best I do anymore, is to share and swap Recipes with other Foodies .......
But, every minute of it, has been an adventure ... for which I am eternally Thankful ...