Vittorio De Sica may not have been the best known Italian film director, but he was the most influential.
November 18, 2011
“You know those extra few pounds look good on you.”
(How could you have known mammoth was fattening.)
Cutting remarks probably started in caveman days.
The 2011 list is out and there are some old favorites on it:
“You look good for your age.”
Irritates at any age.
To someone whose 14-year relationship just broke up:
“Didn’t you see this coming from the beginning?”
"Don't flatter yourself that friendship authorizes you to say disagreeable things to your intimates. The nearer you come into relation with a person, the more necessary do tact and courtesy become."
Tact: a keen sense of what to do or say in order to maintain good relations with others or avoid offense.
From the French, “sense of touch, from Latin tactus, from tangere to touch.”
Some daggers are self-inflicted.
At the workplace:
“That’s not in my job description.”
It's always your job.
Leading "tacticians" urge you to say instead:
“I'll get right to it.”
Then you'll scream at "Human Resources" for not spelling out your responsibilities.
“I don’t have time to talk to you” is still high on the list.
“I’m just finishing something up right now. Can I come by when I’m done?”
Never begin a discussion with, "To be honest," which implies you've been lying all those other times.
Let's face it, you have.
If you're at all capable of adding to this discussion, now's the time.
(That probably could have been phrased more tactfully.)