Daggers

Or, "Keep up the extremely adequate work."

Or, regarding the insufferable young upstart in the office:

"He has an IQ that matches his age."

Or, "Next time the World rolls around, jump back on."

D, "Sweetheart, that fire is wonderful."
 
Me, "Isn't it?"
 
D. "Yes, and the charcoal that has tumbled out onto the hearth isn't bad either."
 
If cutting remarks started with the caveman...how far have I evolved...
 
Nevermind, I'm going to go make some s'mores...

A very Good Case for the efficacy of Correct Speech ... and cleaving to Denotation rather than, Connotation ... So much less confusing ... So much more indicative of an Organized Intellect ...and where are the Barkers now .......

It was said of a certain American President that you could wade through his deepest thoughts without getting your ankles wet.

HAZEL........................I think it could be said of a current American president that you could wade through his deepest thoughts & come away w/ more slime, gore, lies, and filth than you could ever hope to shower off.................................just sayin'.............................

I've got nothing.

Bebe~ he has deepest thoughts?

My grandson came up with a good one:  "You may as well stop speaking to me, I'm not listening, my thoughts are far more interesting than anything you have to say."

Those cutting remarks leave deep scars. Take care what you say - times it is so tempting to be a smart-ass and score a cheap point. Some things are better left thought than spoken out loud.
From way before the days of political correctness: I'm told this is true, but an Irishman told me ...
Child's school report: If your boy were any more stupid, we'd keep him on the windowsill and water him twice a week..

"Whoever told you your hair looks good is not your friend," was one of my mothers more famous remarks in which she was "just being honest." There is a certain genre of people who use "honesty" and "truth" for a complete lack of tact and social filters. Those of us who ascribe to them know that Manners simply enhance life and make it much easier.

That said, being from New York there is a style of banter in which the "zinger" is held in high esteem. If you are presented with a straight line then you are compelled to respond with a rim shot response (ba dum dum). It can be as simple as "I don't feel like a pickle" "Well you look like one." And naturally since I have put myself on the spot I cannot think of a single clever zinger although I personally have prided myself on many through the years.

But moving is problematic...and saying "it was just a zinger" is a problem since no one knows what a Zinger is beyond the 5 boroughs. I think the current lexicon is "snap."

You are outstanding in your field...and that's exactly where you should be; Out...standing in your field. You are a poet but don't know it. Your feet surely do show it. They're Longfellows. You have kind hair...the kind that grows on a dog's ass.

Today is not your day...tomorrow doesn't look good either.

OK, Villagers, from this point forward let us holster the daggers and talk food.

How 'bout a good ol' English breakfast fry-up?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute, lotlot, No one outside the 5 boroughs knows what a zinger is?  What, d'ya think we're stupid or somethin'?  I'm done...back to food.

Most of us reply to those cutting remarks with daggers of our own--we look daggers at the person!  The tongue is a two edged sword and looks can kill.

I have always admired those who can stare daggers.  How many times I've
been stopped in my tracks by my father's look that communicated any variety of
wordless admonitions such as, "Are you really going to try that, boy?"  or 
"What did you just do, boy?" or "Put it back, boy" or " I can't believe you said
that to your mother, boy" or my favorite "Just eat those damm brussel sprouts,
boy."
In the last example I was motivated, not stopped in my tracks, but the
principle is the same. I don't know how he got the word
boy into the look everytime, but I swear he
did.

PAOLOS--you are so right--I am bright red in the face...I should have said "no one here in Swamp Yankeeland knows what a Zinger is" You of all people would know what a zinger is (ta dum dum).

I agree with Hazel in that you really do need to be careful about those zingers and to whom they're directed.  Some cutting remarks to those with low self-esteem will only serve to prove, to them, that they're right................especially the "I'm only being honest" one.  Why not let people live in their little fool's paradise for a time?  In the cosmic sense, what harm does it do?
 
My mother just didn't think carefully before making remarks.  My children, all these years later, still cringe at some of them.  One of my daughters remembers my mother saying to her that she could be a hand model.  Her interpretation:  you're fat.  Another because she was active in sports, that she will undoubtedly be a lesbian (not there's anything wrong with that -- Jerry Seinfeld :)  ).
 
A woman I know, I won't call her "friend", says some terrible things in the name of humor.  Or what she perceives as humor.  When she heard I was diagnosed with the dread disease, she asked in all wide-eyed wonder, "are you going to die?"  And thought that was funny.......I manage to stay away from her. 
 
When you call people on their ill-advised remarks, it's then turned around to you.  "Where's your sense of humor?"  "Don't be so sensitive."  And often, you're left feeling stupid.
 
I'm very careful, especially with children who take what is said literally and remember it for the rest of their lives.

I always liked, "I had only one nerve left, and you just got on it!"

And then there are the old ones from elementary school..."If you had a brain, you'd take it out and play with it!" or the clothing putdown, "I'd rather WANT a shirt than have that one you're wearing!"

paolos - I know whereof you speak....My mother had that kind of look!(All except the word "boy.")

Moose ~ I do use that a lot - "you're on my last nerve"

Andy, I had no idea we were related.  My mom had that same ability.  Wonder if they were kin.
 
One time when we were visiting she upset one daughter, age 5,  so much with a cutting correction the child ran out of the house.   I wasn't there so by the time I arrived back form the grocery store the girl had been gone for a half hour.  Mother was using a walker and could not have persued her.  Real panic set in until the child was found about twelve blocks away and completely lost.  The enigma of the story is that mom was the one that taught me, "If you can't say something nice; say nothing at all." 

"Is that a dagger I see before me, the handle toward my hand?"

Bacon, sausage, black pudding, hash browns, mushrooms, tomatos, eggs. Huge pot of coffee. Is that a happy lotlot?
Expert in looking daggers, the condescending stare, that look that says "you just walked dog poop into the house on your shoe" get a Burmese cat.

Rusty, Smiles ~ We're sibs! !  My mother, very overweight for most of her adult life, would look at something I was wearing and ask if I thought it would look better on her......as if. If only some people would learn to keep it in their head and not try to be "helpful" by putting it in their mouth.

smilesforever -- My late mother-in-law had a similar expression: "Don't you people ever [FILL IN BLANK WITH ANY ACTION HAVING TO DO WITH FOOD, CHILD-REARING, GARDENING, HOUESEKEEPING, ETC.]?
 
I, just out of college, having lived in a fraternity house where low-level repartee (aka "zinger-ing") was constant, was working on my first job.  Unthinking, I said some sharp things, all in jest, to a female co-worker a good 10 years older than I.  One day she called me aside and asked, "Why do you hate me?  What did I ever do to you to make you talk to me that way?"  From then on I've tried to keep a noticeable difference between humor and insult.  Not always successfully.
 
Guess I'll have some of that breakfast now. 

Who better to be on the receiving end?
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOyhYT4cY50

   Nothing to offer beyond "Be well, all...."

I sometimes call it the "left-handed compliment" (no offense to leftys), but it was sort of a compliment, that, when you really thought about it....................... OUCH!
Being around daggers makes you tough, though I still get my feelings hurt, especailly when I am blind-sided by a friend.  Being aware of the consequences of my words makes me more careful about what I say, email, etc., especially to children.  Their skin is not so thick (yet) and I remember a story about a son who was ugly (that's what we call it in the South "be sweet, don't be ugly!") to his mother and hurt her feelings.  The Father went out with the son, who thought he was "going to get it" and was surprised when the Father took out a board and nails and a hammer.  He told the son to start hammering those nails, and the boy went to work.  When the son was done, the Father told him to take the nails out.... one by one the nails came out, leaving holes and gouges.  The Father told his son, "Your ugly words are like hammering nails in a board and removing those nails is like an apology. You can apologize for your words, but they still leave scars behind, remember this when you want to be ugly again." It's a great visual story. 
 
My Mom has a sharp tongue and very little filter, it has given me a GREAT sense of humor.  My Father is known as "Saint Francis", they have been married for almost 60 years, I probably take after him!  
 
My Step-Aunt (is that what you call them?),  my Godfather's (my FAVORITE UNCLE) second wife asked me  MANY years ago "What happened to you?  You HAD such a cute figure?"  I had just had a miscarriage and had no words.....  

Penelope ~ Exactly

There are so many gigantic egos running around in the ol' post-modern world.
I am refreshed daily by P's humble spirit.
Here is a person who, when she stops to consider something, can knock you off your feet with her ability to reason and embrace all aspects of a discussion.
As a female? There is no one more female-y.
Hero ... Humble ... someone who truly understands the utter joy of "little happinesses"

ChefDeb ~ I imagine no one wears red as
well.
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SL_NKcXe1XI

SMILES:
My tee shirt says  "I can only please one person a day
                           today is not your day
                           tomorrow doesn't look good either".
Funny since I live alone and am very pleased with myself.

GROUCHO (the great one) "I never forget a face but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."  

I am looking forward to being with my family at Thanksgiving.  Whenever my family gets together, we eat (of course!!!!), tell jokes and stories and laugh. 
 
My youngest sister is the best at keeping us almost  to tears. 
 
Once, holding my face, I told her "STOP!  You're making my face hurt!!" 
 
With her hands over her eyes she zings back "It's killing me!" (ba dum bum!)

PAOLOS or as often....but thanks!

There was another story today about a little girl, 10 years old, who took her own life because of bullying and taunting.
Sometimes it's just not fun anymore. There are those times when words can cut and scar, when we all feel, as the poet says,

"...the laceration
Of laughter at what ceases to amuse."

(Little Gidding, TSE)

I like Penelope's story, it's the same tune.

My favorite joke about Southern women (and I confess to being guilty of this on occasion):

Three Southern women were in the recovery room after having given birth.

The brunette said to the other two, "My husband was so happy when our baby was born that he gave me a diamond ring."

The redhead said "Well isn't that nice."

The blonde said, "Well, my honey was so delighted with our healthy baby boy that he bought me a brand-new Mercedes."

The redhead said "Well isn't that nice."

The brunette and blonde pointedly asked the redhead, "What did your husband get you?"

And she replied, "When my first son was born, he got me lessons at Finishing School so now instead of "go F#$% yourself,' I say, "Well isn't that nice."

As a naive Idahoan being introduced to Southern culture, I was most dismayed to learn "Isn't that precious" really meant "Dear lord in heaven, where on earth did you buy those rags?"

However, last weekend, when I was hosting a wedding at my home and the bride's mother knocked on the door, and upon my opening it, looked down her nose at me and said, "WHO are YOU?", I managed to remember all my good lessons.

And I simply said, "I'm Cassie, and I'm delighted to be hosting your daughter's wedding. Welcome to my home." Which was my SoCal equivalent of "Well, isn't that nice."

"Some people make you happy when you see them , some make you happy when you wave goodby..."  (a paraphrase)

I like red zinger tea

RY~ Lemon Zinger is also delicious.

Some lasting digs are a matter of facial expressions. I bought a Fez in Morocco after much haggling. I just wanted the darn thing. Now I have a big head and I felt like Sidney Greenstreet in it. The vendor smiled when I put it on as he tucked away his dough but when I turned back the smile had turned into victorious smirk. I let it pass as I headed for the hydrofoil. Now when I put it on usually with a white sport coat my wife guffaws and refuses to be seen out in public with me. In those moments I know that parting smirk meant "you look like camel crap American. You should have bought the rug, cheapskate."

This is a very Good Day ... a Beautiful Day in The Neighborhood ... Zingers n all !!!
 
PAOLOS:  One need not live in any of the Boroughs ... one need only have Relatives that live there ... Especially one Retired Rabbi, who donates his time in the Red Hook Hospitality Room to make sure the Brew is Kosher ....... (GLUT KOSHER, he calls it ...)
 
Sorry I am missing most of today in the Village, but the Krewe andf I are wrapping up all we can before Sundown, and tonite after Sabbath, we hafta start planning for the Big Feed on Thursday ... even tho' there will be people who start showing up, Spoon in hand, on Wednesday ... God Blessem !!!
 
Y'all Have Fun !!! 
 
I will be by before I shut down for the weekend .......

IVAN ~ I do have relatives there, I wouldn't know them from Adam or
any other retired Rabbi, but they are still kin. Your relative sounds like a giving and generous soul.  Does the job involve taste testing?



DaggerS x S  ~ I expected you to have more to say on this
topic.

My family, from the East coast, had just enough Yiddish in it somewhere to have picked up Yiddishisms, and my mother's word for this was "zringe" (pronounced "zaringy"). This is the well-known gloat for "I have just plunged said dagger of impertinent remark in your back, now whatchya gonna do about it?"

I also think it's important to distinguish between the impertinent remark inspired by different emotions. Sometimes, one is rude to gloat; sometimes one is rude for revenge; sometimes, one is rude because you just don't know any better, not that I have any personal experience at all with this subject, of course. I merely report what I have observed.

But I have come to the conclusion, in my evil old age, that life lived consistently played by all the rules of niceness is beyond tedious. The caveat must be, of course, when dealing with those who cannot fight back, like kids and those weaker in any way than yourself, during the moment of the zringe. The rules of zringe-ing are simple: jabs below the belt are allowed, but only to those who actually know how to zringe back. If they don't have a clue, your zringe-ing is mismatched, and then you're KO-ed for simple rudeness, which is not in the same league of cleverness as the true zringe, for to zringe properly is a fine art, not to be used on just anyone.

~Andy&Rusty   I KNEW I had relatives in The Village!!!~Korthal.....I want one of those t-shirts.  I am pleased you are pleased with yourself, as I also am very pleased with you, and myself as well.   Happy Friday! Chicken Cordon Bleu for dinner, anyone?

smiles~  Serve up one plate for me please, that sounds absolutely delicious!  

Do y'all remember when there were folks that didn't like the Beatles?
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgKCQJfAVgI

Off topic - I just went into my laundry, having left the outside door open. One old dog fox snoozing by the tumbledryer and three pigeons roosting on top of the cupboards. There are limits to my hospitality, uninvited guests evicted, outside door firmly shut.

Hazel~ even wild animals know what a warm inviting home you have. :) Smart beasts.

Haze--Cassie's right!

PAOLOS:  Absolutely !!!  Repeated Random Tests to assure not only Quality Control, but Kashrut Standards ... and of course, Uncle Phil wouldn't dream of taking a Dime for his efforts ... after all, they don't make him pay for the Beer ...
 
Uncle Phil is an alright Fellow, but a bit of a Schiker ... Even so, he is a Whale of a Good Will Ambassador for Red Hook ... and there is a place call'd Mama's not far from there, and the Old Gal that owns the place and does all the cooking, makes some of the Best Kreplach to be found on the earth ... of course, if one doesn't happen to be from The Tribe, she might say their Pirogies .......

I am Wishing Every Person in this Village a Marvelous Weekend !!! 
 
A lot of places are going to be a little Nippy this weekend, but that should make some things a little more enjoyable ...(when I was young, BUNDLING had nothing to do with one's Cable/Phone/ISP ...)
Have an Enjoyable, Fun, and Safe Weekend, with Family & Friends, and do whatever makes y'all Happy !!!  Good Food, Good Wine ... and forget about Calories ... they don't count anyway ...
 
To the Tribe:   A Good Sabbath !!!
 
I Wish You a Sabbath of Peace, Joy, and Rest .......
 
May Our Rest Be Pleasing Unto Him Who Brought Us Here .......
 
"Taste and See How Good The Lord Is ..."
 
Blessings Upon You All .......
 
 
IVAN

Dearest Ivan~ thanks for your blessing without which no Friday Nite would feel right. A good Sabbath to you, with plenty of calorie free wine. x.

Paolos--  I'm trying to be a man of fewer words.  Besides, I had an 8:00 am dr. appointment and had to run.

Blessings Ivan ....

IVAN
AND BLESSINGS UPON YOU ALSO  -  AND TO ALL THE eYesters!

Aaaawww~ Cassiepants & Carol~ *blush* The animals and birds see me around all the time and know I won't bother them. My place is a sort of woodland garden and I am constantly delighted by my neighbours. Eating ceral breakfast outdoors is a big share with the little birds.

Trying out a new Sauvignon Blanc/Semillon Blend called The Beach House. Hint of Gooseberries listening to Linda Ronstadt sing Heat Wave while the kiddos stand around the fire. Throw out the high tech-fire has been the great mesmerizing force since cave man daze.

It shouldn't be this difficult to achieve, yet I remain unsuccessful in my attempts to abide by the under-appreciated rule of thumb that I if I cannot come up with something nice to say about/to a person, I should just stifle myself.

I suppose it means that in order to hold on to my dignity, I have to surrender some of it....

But I gotta tell ya, it is almost always worth the trip to slip in a good zinger that your target does not even realize that they have been hit...zinged with, until it is too late to respond. Kinda like the exploding ink that the banks use against wouldbe bandits.

I bet I could stop if it didn't feel so good. Or not.

Haze, you are so fortunate to be surrounded by such a variety of flora and fauna. And they are fortunate to have you at their center.

Have a grand weekend everyone. Y'all deserve it.

PL- It's like verbal fencing. No one should be so thin skinned as not to take a Coupe with a little bit of the old panache You are a true gentleman and in the South when one is talking all is well. When there is silence then things are awry. Some of my best friends and I have engaged in loving fisticuffs verbally and with a knuckle sandwich.

Good rest, Ivan. God's blessing upon you.

Verbal fencing and dagger stabs just don't seem to be the same.  I'll touche with the best of them but to deliberately, in that certain tone of voice--I believe we've discussed that some time ago--dig in the dagger leaving child or adult hurt or even scared leaves me  hoping my better judgement will put duct tape over my mouth before the "thrust" is given.

My point. It's a fine line between Saturday night and Sunday Morning. Shit and Shinola. Know the difference. LeCarre might say “The monsters of our childhood do not fade away, neither are they ever wholly monstrous."

Fencing is such a graceful sport----with a deadly goal!  Never in my life would I have even considered fencing, except that my freshman year in college that was the only phys.ed. option that fitted into my schedule.  A klutz by nature as I am it would have taken more than one semester (and probably many hours of private study) to improve on that, but it was absolutely fascinating to learn some of the fine points of such a gentlemanly 'sport.'   I've often regretted that I only had that one chance---there is a grace and a poise attendant upon fencing that I could have sorely used over the years.   And it's soooo romantic to conjure up those images of the 3 musketeers, Darcy, and how many other souls of literature........Please don't ever expect me to outrun you, don't lob a tennis ball at me or spike a volleyball my way, but ...I'm sorry...did you just  say "En Guarde!"?!

I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible
To feeling as to sight? or art thou but
A dagger of the mind, a false creation,
Proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain?"

You are all beautiful and intelligent people and it is a joy to read you.  This is not a daggar, but the God's honest truth on this lovely Friday night.  Good Sabbath to you all and God's blessings upon each and every one of you.  Have a lovely weekend.

Carol- great post. In each of us is the lovable and dangerous scoundrel...

Dash and Ivan and the rest of our group ~ backatcha