A Culture of Silence

Apathy n.
1.    lack of enthusiasm or energy: lack of interest in anything, or the absence of any wish to do anything
2.    emotional emptiness: inability to feel normal or passionate human feelings or to respond emotionally

Sorry, this was not, in the case of the carrot-topped staff member, an absence. It was the presence of fear and self-preservation.
It is hard to imagine a quarter from which he might not be receiving threats: the victim and his parents, the authorities, off-balance football wing nuts and just about everybody else who is asking how do you see a ten year old boy being sodomized and walk away?
It is easy to say that none of us knows what he would have done.
Bullshit.

Yes.

I'll be trying to sleep, choking on all the things I'd like to say.

Good night, Stoney. xo

yes Stoney, you've said it all. Jax, I know this hits you hard and I have the same trouble sleeping.... this makes me so angry. I'm sickened by the unfolding story of all the people in the chain, knowing and doing nothing. One thing I just cannot understand is how the judge could release Sandusky on bail....this is adding insult to injury. 

The carrot topped one should have entered the room,removed the boy to safety,and let the chips fall. If he has kids of his own, how can he even look into their eyes. Shame.

And there has been another ,very ugly rumor,about the pimping of the youngsters from the charity to big donors. These people need to be imprisioned. They take special care of people that harm 'short eyes' in the graybar....

I find the whole nasty business abhorrent to say the least. Yet somehow it's not surprising. Corruption in every quarter and at every level seems to be the norm. The only question I have is this...is all this corruption new or has it always been this way since we got kicked out of Eden? Is God so sicked by what he sees that he is leaving us all to a reprobate mind? I pray this is not the case...maybe this site is a last bastion of civility. Of course we are all capable of terrible acts...only God keeps us from our reprobate yearnings.

To stand and do nothing is inhumanly unconscionable ... a Mensch will hasten to the middle of a problem to give aid where he can, to one in need, as little as it might be ... while awaiting greater help to arrive ... Calling upon The Lord all during his ministrations to ensure reinforcement ... Trusting that it will show .......
 
Imagine having to explain one day to The Lord, that one just stood like a Deer in the Headlights, while another bled to death ... or the panic'd horror one would experience upon realizing why no one would help him, in a similar situation ......
 
Usually, one gets what one deserves .......

Eeeew, Ivan~ I was all of 16/17 years old at the time. I really had no idea, just a raised hackles feeling.

STONEY & IVAN & RY.....................yes...................
 
HAZEL.................that is completely horrific........................

Pennsylvannia's child protect laws need to be overhauled immediately.  People need to be trained to report suspected child abuse.  And for those who claim to have seen it and done nothing, I wonder how do they live with themselves.  

We live by innocent until proven guilty, but those who suspected that something was wrong and did not try to intervene are enablers.

I believe that the proper term is Accessory, not Enabler. People seem to be hardwired as to whether their conscience is limited to not past their own nose or a natural instinct to "do the right thing." The Elephant in the Room this morning is the behavior (policy?) of the Catholic Church not just in the past known pedophila years but possibly through its entire history. Look how reprehensible some people were willing to be when Hitler came to town. A complete knee jerk reaction and yet their opposites were active and proactive through all of it. I am very much afraid that many people in leadership positions have to be so self serving to achieve their rank that common decency and morals do not apply to them--at least from their point of view.

Yechhhh.

I believe that the proper term is Accessory, not Enabler. People seem to be hardwired as to whether their conscience is limited to not past their own nose or a natural instinct to "do the right thing." The Elephant in the Room this morning is the behavior (policy?) of the Catholic Church not just in the past known pedophila years but possibly through its entire history. Look how reprehensible some people were willing to be when Hitler came to town. A complete knee jerk reaction and yet their opposites were active and proactive through all of it. I am very much afraid that many people in leadership positions have to be so self serving to achieve their rank that common decency and morals do not apply to them--at least from their point of view.

Yechhhh.

I believe that the proper term is Accessory, not Enabler. People seem to be hardwired as to whether their conscience is limited to not past their own nose or a natural instinct to "do the right thing." The Elephant in the Room this morning is the behavior (policy?) of the Catholic Church not just in the past known pedophila years but possibly through its entire history. Look how reprehensible some people were willing to be when Hitler came to town. A complete knee jerk reaction and yet their opposites were active and proactive through all of it. I am very much afraid that many people in leadership positions have to be so self serving to achieve their rank that common decency and morals do not apply to them--at least from their point of view.

Yechhhh.

Good grief sorry I berted such an unpleasant paragraph!

 I once oversaw a research study on citizen reporting of serious crime via the 9-1-1 phone line.  Many crimes go unreported because of what hazel leese experienced -- the belief that the caller will be viewed as a crank.   Others aren't sure that what they are seeing is a police matter.  Every police agency I ever worked with would rather respond to a call to find that nothing unlawful really happened than to not be called and later find a serious crime had been committed.  Hazel's experience will be something she will always live with, but Hazel, your actions were certainly not outside the norm for such a situation.
 
But what we have here is totally beyond belief -- that an adult saw a child being raped and not only failed to report it to police, but failed to STOP it from happening.  Even in a culture where the witness no doubt feared for his professional future if he went outside the system, how could he not have intervened? 
 
Yes, perhaps there are things that we might not yet know about, facts yet to be reported to the public.  But nothing can mitigate a moral failure of this kind. I believe everyone of us agrees that to have witnessed an act of this kind without intervening is totally, unforgivably unconscionable. I've added nothing to change that. But I think we all feel a need to vent on this one.

Haha! Good morning, ChefDeb. Hope your son is frying homewards.

The crime, a split second decision of self interest, & then the cover up, years of lies and rationalization- the greater good, the honor of the institution, the hope that time will wash away the stain. It is an all too familiar story going back to Cain and Abel.

HAZEL--you are so funny! No one else has come up with that--I have to text him right now!

digger5x5~ first and last time I made that mistake. Now I wade in with both left feet and hang the consequences. My long-suffering Social Services employer described me as 'a bit of a loose cannon.' They were just as guilty of abuse as the abusers - they'd set me up in all sorts of unsafe situations and await my 'colourful' report. They keep a big broom in the corner for brushing things under those vile carpet tiles that cover the floors of Social Service offices. Do something? Hah! Inertia rules.
 

There is, in this country, an abnormal reverance for football and the reputation of those in authority; those who do not deserve such loyalty.  This horrendous story has just about broken my heart.  From the children who didn't have the words to tell their parents what was going on, to the children who did and who's parents didn't believe them, to the monsters who allowed it to happen and turned a blind eye, to the people who prostituted themselves in order to have a job with the institution, to those who were afraid that their supporters would dry up..... those supporters and alumni who gave millions of dollars, to a legal system that allowed this monster to continue to walk free and damage so many children.  I also wonder how many children were taken from an abusive situation and brought to this program; how they must have thought they were in hell.

Hazel ~ Re your 4:40 -- I once read when the monster was caught, that he said they liked it.  I needed to vomit after that.

Come to think of it, where is Bert?

And do we not look down on the whistle blower?

Is it apathy or is it a constellation of fears? 'Will reporting it draw attention to me? Will there be consequences for me? Could I be hurt, fired, harassed for participating?' Do some of us find it difficult to judge the behavior of others? What degree of crime should mandate reporting? Pot smoking? Physical violence? How much physical violence? Are we just so used to watching things on TV that actually witnessing something bypasses what I think is a natural human desire to help each other?
 
I was once walking with my then sisters in law when we all witnessed a car accident. One driver was crossing the intersection, was in fact half way through, when another driver sped into the intersection and hit the first car and pushed it into the crosswalk. There were literally dozens of people around and but no one seemed to want to hand over contact info... but I handed him my card. Weeks later his lawyer called me. I don't know what his driving history was. I don't know anything about him, but was set to lose his case against the second driver and no one else had come forward to witness... so I did. It was horrible. Even for such a minor, fact related thing I was treated by the court as though I was a criminal of some sort. I was accused of all manor of moral failings. Now, I went to a prep school and evidently I'm a slow learner because most of that experience was meant to teach me that social power often trumps reality but I still think that there should be an impulse for justice so I testified. I know that it's a minor example but even in a minor case, no death, no rape, just minor injury and some destruction of property, I was hassled, accused and threatened for coming forward. I can only imagine how much worse that would have been if it had been something more serious. My relatives, women who I believe to be generally moral, didn't come forward and seemed to think that I'd brought the stress on myself by doing so. I do believe that we need to witness for one another, particularly in situations where a perpetrator is of greater power than the victim, but seriously, if we want a better record of that we need to support people who do report so that they don't have to fear it. In the worst cases of abuse these things get by because of one person's assumed right to narrate and what we, culturally, accept as circumstances that invalidate the other parties.
 
Anyway, that's what I think.

When I was teaching, we were told and trained to report any hint of abuse or serious misconduct in students' lives.

It is not uncommon for students to talk about their lives in the presence of teachers, in their journals, and in their "after-class" moments. (I dealt primarily with students ages 13-18.) I can recall a number of cases in which I reported Satanic drawings/stories/braggings, as well as several students' writing about feeling unhappy/uncomfortable/miserable from the behavior of parents/step-parents/relatives in their homes.

After I reported such cases with copies of the journals or what I considered "evidence," I cannot remember ever hearing about it again. So, whatever the counselors or principals did about it or followed up on it, was not revealed to me. In only one case can I remember being asked to meet with a social worker committee to discuss the case and give my analysis of the child's situation.

That was a girl who refused to attend school, and the parents refused to compel her to go to school. This was a ninth grader who was obese, and her reasons were that the other kids made fun of her, and she could not do the physical education class activities. In the session, a caseworker told that her older sister also refused to attend school, but was eventually placed on home instruction with a visiting teacher. The visiting teacher also said that the father in the home acted suspiciously, wanted the girls at home, and may have been abusing them, but there was no concrete evidence. I was appalled, but the system dropped the case right there, as the caseworkers did not want to get into a legal fight with the father, who was a large, overbearing man.

I always felt sad for those girls, and often wondered what was really going on there, and if they would ever be free of the prison of their home. The last I heard, they earned enough credits by home instruction to be close to graduation, but never got the diploma, having dropped out (legally allowed at age 16). I have a feeling that this is not an isolated case (espec. among uneducated or ignorant people with no community ties.)

KSHUCK--good for you! Your posting was excellent. I have always been a whistleblower -- possibly because I am an only child -- I have been very unpopular as a result at times and I don't care. MOOSELOOP I am sure all those students were very lucky to have you as a sounding board and advisor.

and STONEY is so right...Apathy rules. I was a little girl when Kitty Genovese was killed in front of 38 people and I was thunderstruck then, as I still am. What amount of self serving would allow you to see another person in jeopardy (not with a creepy looking guy but a guy with a knife stabbing her)and not do something about it? If the current case doesn't make you sick to your stomach...

Mr. Peterman:  I haven't read your entire rant, nor have I read the responses.  I was stopped dead in my tracks when you asserted that "they hadn't committed a crime." 
 
We live in a society governed by laws.  In Florida it's the Florida Statutes.  Section 794.027 is entitled: Duty to report sexual battery; penalties.  It is a first degree misdemeanor in Florida subject to a prison sentence of 1 year and/or a $1,000 fine.
 
That doesn't stop you from having your opions of what you think is right or wrong, nor does it stop you from doing anything you please.  However, I would suggest that every adult in every State review the Criminal Code of the place they live in so they are aware of the consequences of their behavior before they take the step of acting on their beliefs.
 
I once suggested that instead of arguing about school prayer, one should teach the Criminal Code to teenagers in school.  The cop I was talking too was aghast.  Oh, no, do not educate people; that would make his job so much harder.  Then they would know not to invite a police officer into their homes when they didn't have to!
 
(I am not in law enforcement or the legal profession.  I am a naturalized American citizen, but not an exile.)

Going back and doing some reading: Please, please, the carrot-topped one was a STUDENT, howbeit a graduate student, at the time he witnessed this event.  How many graduate students do you think would attempt to assault an assistant coach?  And what might have happened to the child in his grip?  The student what he thought was the right thing: he went and told that man's boss, Joe Peterno.  Paterno did what his university's culture told him to do, which was go to the Director of Athletics. It is interesting to note that the football coach makes more than a university president in both hard cash and adulation for a magnificent job well done.  Who watches football?  I don't.  (But then, I'm a 74 year-old female from aborad.)
 
There was an informative article about the culture of the university police on the front page of Saturday's NYTimes.

channelsurfing--just as Mr. Brady says "Now Cindy, nobody likes a tattletale.."

Mike McQueary was a towering twenty-eight year old, gym hardened former quarterback graduate assistant with little to fear in terms of physical harm from a naked fifty-five year old line backing coach.
It was his career and his school's reputation that stood between him and doing the right thing.
Even his small and ineffectual response may, through whistle blower protection, be sufficient to keep him from being dismissed but he is toast.

Kshuck ~ The other night we were at a local diner for dinner.  An incident must have just happened prior to us being seated, since the police showed up soon after.  We found out that an elderly (probably younger than me) woman had been mugged on the parking lot.  She was in the diner crying, the police, as I said, were called, who then searched the area diligently, even bringing in a helicoptor to search.  The young men who work in the diner, ran out to help her and chased the men away.  Two of the diners, seated in the rear, evidently saw something because they too stepped forward and wrote out long statements, agreeing to be witnesses.  Everyone came together in a sense of community to help this woman.  It surprised me, since so many do not want to get involved.  And yet, there was no question, everyone jumped in to help.  <now let's pretend this is a new paragraph, since it won't seem to "paragraph" for me.>  The latest incident though, would, and has, brought forth publicity to all concerned.  In later years, when this is spoken of, it will be spoken of with all those  involved just as guilty.  
Even though all the articles that I've read have been emphatic about naming who did what, in later years it will  be spoken of as a sex scandal with children involved and all the names will be equally culpable....except to those with good memories and sticklers for facts.  I think part of the non-involvement, while beyond unforgiveable, has this in mind.  We, all of us in this village, square pegs all, are of a kind where we jump in with both feet.  Where a young, strong man were he one of ours, witnessing such an atrocity would grab and thrash the man inflicting such a thing on a <probably> crying child.  I can't forgive or condone any of their actions as far-reaching as it seems to be.  Yes, as has been said, an enabler is just as guilty and deserves whatever punishment shall be inflicted.  The horror that adults allowed a school's reputation, a football team, a "charitable" organization a pedophile and abuser, to be more important than a child  is beyond comprehension.                                                                                                                                         

Apathy - absolutely!! and several other reasons this continues.  In 2010 Penn State received $70 million in donations from Alumni and many other sources.  The power of sport teams!!

JaxZ - how are you? 

Stoney ~ Let's call Mike McQueary what he is:  a prostitute.  He prostituted himself for a job.  And yes, how dare he not help that child?  I hope he never slept well again.

VeraM--many good points, but Mr.P. does not rant.

CD ~
No, he doesn't does he?
He incites though.

Vera ~ He could have gone to the police.  He should have gone to the police.  A graduate student is the not a "student" as we think of the word; a graduate student is an adult.

I think this could have happened at any U.S. school where football (or any other sport) reigns supreme -- sports seems to have outweighed academics and, apparently, moral values and human decency.  The coaches and those in charge of the programs are treated like little gods. And it was not only the witness who was at fault, but the "superiors" (read this as sarcasm) whom he told.  But then, I'm just a cynical old lady -- what do I know.

Hazel, at 16-17 years old with nothing but a gut feeling I don't think most of us would have known what to do.  That, for me would have been back in the 50s, and people didn't talk about "those things" then.   There you were unknowing and feeling guilty.  Sad.
 
 

I am heartbroken about the children that were entrusted to this man and his organization.  I am involved in a youth serving organization.  We, too, Mooseloop, are trained and told to report any incident.  I train, for this same organization, the parents and leaders and grandparents, guardians of our youth, to report any abuse.  A few have been insulted and told me "how dare you!  How dare you think I would abuse a child?" They do not understand the importance of knowing what to do in any case.   
 
Where ever my kids went, I went.  Whether I wanted to go or not.  I learned to roler blade, I hiked and camped out under the stars, I attended trombone/french horn private lessons, acolyte training, etc. etc.  I was responsible for their safety, I have no regrets because I knew I could never get that innocence back.
 
The STUDENT reported what he saw, but still it continued.  That is something they will all have to live with.
 
A "Culture of Silence" NO MORE! 
Step up:  child abuse, spousal abuse, elder abuse, disabled abuse, etc.......it should be a "Culture of CARE": take care of your fellow "man/woman/child".     We are all travelers, together on this wide world, and it is a short ride.
 
Preaching to the choir, I know, but you are all so very kind to listen.

In many states there is an organization called CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates) and their representatives are the voice of the child in the courts.  They represent abused and neglected children.  At this time I know of one office that has about 420 cases on going.   These are the known ones, so how many are undiscovered?  In most cases the apathy is grounded in fear, and that fear is usually based on not knowing what will happen if I jump in or report something.  Sometimes it is also shock the stalls the reaction.  Each person is unique, and not all can or will be a ChefDeb.  BUT thank God for her type.    
 

Rusty  -  back in the '50's when we were teenagers, did we even hear about sex scandals -  Occasionally there would be talk about a "strange" person in hushed tones - everything was well hidden, whatever it was.  As an only child I was also pretty isolated from unpleasant "things".
Today's society is very open but guns are wide spread, theft, muggings, carjackings and the like, if witnessed tend to be followed by shootings and sniches can be found with consequences.  When I was sitting on the bench I came to respect "the piece".

I assume that the only reason Sandusky (or whatever his name is) was allowed to use the facilities at Penn State after he was terminated is because that is one of the perks of belonging to the alumni association or some such thing.  Inasmuch as he was originally terminated for misconduct with minors, he should have been banned for life from the campus.  If you decide to expose yourself in a Florida State Park, you are banned for life immediately on the say-so of a witness, even before you appear in court.
 
However, just watching the news, it appears that his residence borders the playground of an kindergarten through 2nd grade school.  Somehow the community is just as culpable as the university. 
 
All the victims were from the charitable organization he founded.
 
Yes, the graduate student should have called the police.  But which police?  Campus police?  They are sworn law enforcement officers in Florida where I live, but they are first and foremost campus police. 

ANY freaking police!!!! ANYBODY! Call anybody!! Yell and scream and throw things and take out your goddam cell phone and CALL SOMEONE!

Thank you Rusty, means a lot.

You know what else (I, however, am now on a rant)I have been mistaken. I called Family Services incorrectly about one family but twice I was correct. Don't bring any bruised children around me and expect me not to follow it up. I went to the Superintendent of Schools about a very popular teacher (he was "in charge" of Detention, among other duties)who was drinking & getting high with students--popular home town boy, almost got lynched over that one--but guess what, he was fired because I was right. Listen I am not trying to give a list of all the wonderful things I have done---I am just saying that yes, you might be wrong and sometimes the authorities are not that gracious, and I am sure that all of us here would know when to call (and HAZEL you are exempt from this with your teenage
nightmqre, seriously, its not like you had a cellphone either...nowadays EVERYONE has 911 in their (his) pocket) for help but I am just astounded and am always astounded by the way people's minds work.

and IVAN apologies to you for not mentioning sooner how perfect your 4:47 post is regarding the whole sickening topic.

Andy ~Every word you speak is true.  Especially, He should have gone
to the police. 
I don't understand the philosophy of protecting the university.

How in the hell does it protect the university by allowing this pervert's
tenure to continue?
 
Comparable to this, yesterday there was a news
report from Mexico of a ten year old girl giving birth.
The authorities are investigating to see if she had
been raped.
How could it be otherwise? 
The age of consent in Mexico is 12.  To me that in
itself is rape.
 
If we can't protect our children, what in
this sad world do we hold dear that is of any value to
protect?

Andy~ re your 8.44 re my 4.40. The 'They like it' claim. Sad to say, these people really believe that their victims like it. They are genuinely mystified when called to account as they do not think they have done anything wrong.
Meanwhile, spare a thought for those wrongly accused of child sex abuse. My friend was at a Christening party with his very pretty two year old girl, not too clever at walking on two feet. She went down on the floor and hauled herself up again by use of a stranger's trouser legs. Which bought her face to face with the stranger's crotch. Two year olds like zippers. A few days later, friend is in custody, child is in care and the whole might of Police and Social Services Child Protection are on the poor man's case. The 'evidence?' The child was behaving in a precocious and provocative manner and knew just what to do when confronted with a zipper. Eeeeewww- show me a two year old in a party frock with those frilly knickers underneath - they flirt terribly, trying out their feminine wiles. The case was thrown out of court but the no smoke without fire lobby gave him a tough time. He felt unable to play rough-house with his daughter and bathing her was out of the question. All in all, a very damaging experience for parent and child.

My wife , a peditaric r.n. who was in charge of the emergency room at a childrens hospital has several stories about childern that she felt had been abused both sexually and physically. She was never hesitant to report to the police or child protective services and has stepped on several toes over the years. On was case of a small girl that had been in the er on more than one ocassion that was the daughter of one of the most wealthy and prominate families in the state and insisted the police do something about it . After the third incident the police finally did something. Maybe they were a little intimaded by the family so they didn't investigate. Finally a dectective interviewed my wife and agreed to look into the case and found the mother was physically abusing the child.The upshot of this was that the little girls grandparents, the ones with the money and infulence took the child from the parents, got counseling for the child and gave my wife a beautiful flower arrangment as a thank you.Some of the other cases didn't have as happy an ending but most got resolved to the betterment of the children.

There are times when we are meant to be the eyes of
God.
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h52nXW4AcpI

Re my last comment, before anyone else says it,
Yes, you would think that the pope would understand that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulTmmTIlM_o

Sadly, my bad behavior gene is twitching;please forgive me
http://www.theonion.com/articles/pope-forgives-molested-children,101/

paolos & RY ~
Nice work… the music.

JaxZ ~
Change of pace? Okay.
The 5th of the month was our youngest grandson's birthday. Today belongs to our oldest one. Wednesday is the anniversary of one of our daughters, Thursday is ours and I have work to do.
Life goes on despite everything.

There is a song, Paolos, that says, "I have no feet but yours, no hands, no eyes but yours."  How often we all forget we are the human instruments of God's love. 

Child protective services came to my home after Michael, the climber, went to the ER for the third time in a year.
Everyone I knew including my pediatrician couldn't believe it. I said it was good because there are children out there who need their help. That was 1968 ish.
 
Fast forward. I have lost the friendship of a very dear neighbor because someone reported the care she was getting and people think it was me. Her care givers no longer allow her to call me and when I call her the conversation is very short and not as informative as it used to be. 

RY - 1:35pm - thank you for that article - had not seen it before.  I wish more people would come forward as you have.

2 years ago my partner and I met with David Keith of Officer and a Gentlemen fame and his work is noteworthy in Prevention and Apprehension of Sexual Predators & the problem is statistically monstrous. The number of women who live with and enable these offenders is equally alarming. These people are very adept at living dual lives. They are incurable with current methods of treatment. The sensational stories will come and go but the countless victims with no recourse will grow as access grows. I see fear increasing. Being safe should not be at the risk of our humanity. Very difficult and once again the few terrorize the innocent and paralyze the rest of us. There is much work to do. God help us. If I personally witnessed this I would remove the child and then beat his sorry ass or he would mine. Then a call.

Stoney ~ There was a crime in our little town much like the one in Sonoma
County. 
It's been ten years or more and it hasn't been solved.  Every time I hear
the song I think of her.

I hadn't seen this video, but it put a face with the lyrics. 
Now I know I will carry the image of Georgia Lee Moses with me to my
grave.
 
Rusty ~ Theresa de Avila.  One of my favorite mystics.  Mystic Seaport is
another.
 
 
ChefDeb ~ How is only-childness conducive to whistle blowing?  Who would
you have to tattle on?  If your answer is a perverted adult, please
disregard my question (unless you want to go on a rant). Your rants are always
well attended.

This horrible behaviour is not understandable to me on any level.

This horrible behaviour is not understandable to me on any level.

I am fortunate to say that I don't think I've ever witnessed any actions or behavior of abuse against children, or anyone else. I always hope that I would "do the right" thing if confronted with something that I knew was wrong. But human behavoir is so unpredictable! I've heard that an explanation for people looking the other way may be that most of us no longer live in a real community anymore; many of us live in areas where we don't know our neighbors, so why should we stick our neck out if we see someone we don't know being harmed? It's not like that person is our cousin who has lived around the corner our whole life.  I'm not saying this is right, but it may explain some of the things we all see. 
 
But then again, the Church and Penn State are established communities where people know each other.  So, why did no one speak out? Maybe it falls into the "not my job" syndrome. Let someone else deal with it. 

Re: the carrot-topped one being a student and thus getting a pass from being a human:  really? I see it was explained that CToppedOne was an older student, but even if he were a middling student or a younger student, they know right from wrong.  Certainly they do, since sophomores for example are known for behaving in a knuckle-headed sophomoric manner - which they know is wrong which is why when asked if they were involved in said moronic behavior, they all answer "No. No way." ........So knowing right from wrong as they do, when they (young students) and then logically, older students see something wrong,they do recognize it - and unless they're sociopaths, they also know that when they see someone doing something wrong to another, they need to stop it, in some way, whether it be a call to 911 or whatever - they know it needs to be stopped..........And a call to 911 is fast, effective, and the only good reason for having a cell phone in the first place.....AS for Paterno, he's going to try to get off with the Pity Me I'm Too Old For All This Strife and/or I Knew Not What I Did or I Did What Was Required I Passed the Ball It's Not My Fault.  Oh shame on him.  What a way to exit.  

Comfortable1:  try greed.  Money and power.   They're the most common motivators in any situation like this.  As for Sandusky himself, I'd say try "child molester, rapist, pedophile" and pervert.

Hazel:  wrongly accused doesn't apply here.  There's a great big institution and lots of $$, a serial child rapist and molester - an lots of young victims.  I cry for the victims, if I said prayers it would be for the victims.  Children forced to keep such dark and terrible secrets have less ability to bounce back than do wrongly accused adults.  

My computer is giving me fits today. Eventually I'll figure out how to post the link to Jon Stewart's rant on The Daily Show about this- how any 6'5" guy COULD have stopped Sandusky when he caught him in the act... Horrifying... Park4~ is absolutely 100% correct about this - it also applies to the Catholic Church and all other 'venerable' institutions who choose to protect their power and financing base over the innocence of children...

Stoney, grateful Birthday and Anniversary wishes bestowed.

I do often need to focus on that very idea. Intently.

Giraffe, Thank you, I'm on the mend.

PAOLOS--I did mean that only childness prevented me from feeling peer pressure about "telling" but also I must say I had quite a few experiences as a child tended by others that were somewhat hairraising. Mostly adults believed adults but I was not shy about speaking up.

Cassiepants ~
 
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/11/jon-stewart-penn-state-scandal-joe-paterno-fired_n_1087985.html

PENELOPETX:  You have got MY Vote !!!
 
CHEFDEB:  No sleight taken ... I am shoulder to shoulder with you on this .......
 
GIRAFFE:  If people had their Guns with them, knew how properly to use them, and were not suffering trepidation of being punish'd for doing what is Morally and Constitutionally Right ... there would be fewer and fewer Carjackings and other Crimes, until the day Turds that commit crimes would no longer exist ... A Man who owns a Gun is a Citizen ... a Man without a Gun is a Subject .......
 
MISS PARK4:  Murder, Rape and Child Molestation/Injury should all be Hangin' Offenses ... and the Victims, or the Families of the Victims should be the ones to spring the Trap Door ...

ChefDeb ~ You speak truly again.  I know of such
stories.  Pity the parents that won't listen to their child.

Pity the parents????? I think Pity the child. What parent won't listen to their child.

Three words: nine, one, one and then, let them sort it out.

Korthal ~ For instance, a mother whose husband or boyfriend abuses her child.  A
mother or father whose own parent or sibling abuses the child.  It is not
unheard of.  Yes, pity the parent who has to live with the guilt of turning a
deaf ear to the child. And there are so many who continue on in a
relationship believing there is no way out. At that point it isn't pity that the
child needs and nothing we do or feel can restore what has been taken from the
child.

   
Shhhhh. Don't tell.I won't.Promise?I promise.Cross your heart?I hope to die.You do?I do.You will.I will?Hush now.Just hush ...

 
      

JALOPKIN~You and my dear husband would be in absolute agreement.

PAOLOS~ Many thanks, dear friend. I love that Jon Stewart manages to get to the heart of the matter so eloquently.

I was actually very moved when I went to get my first physical with my new health insurance. The doctor's nurse asked me if I had any reason to believe I was in danger at my home. And she looked at me and really listened to my response. Thank god I have no issue like that, but if I did, the compassionate way she interacted with me would have given me some hope that people were listening.

When my mother was a child, she was subjected to emotional abuse and neglect which has permanently altered her...and no one ever stepped in to rescue her or her 5 siblings. I refuse to have any dealing with my maternal grandparents/aunts/uncles because they still heap emotional abuse on her. It's heartbreaking.

Since the Church scandal didn't make it okay to talk about and actively address such abuses, maybe a college scandal will? An optimist such as myself can only hope.

There seems to be some doubt about trusting the authorities to do the right thing.
Don't trust Lucy van Pelt as a holder but the cops are all we have.
Give it to them, keep after them and if that doesn't work, leak it anonymously to the press who will say that they do not act on anonymous tips but they do it.

Evil like what transpired at Penn State needs to be expunged from the face of the earth. Same for serial killers when they're caught and convicted. We don't need to study, coddle, try to understand or rehabilitate these monsters. And anyone who facilitates them need to go as well. As is often quoted the reason bad men get away with their deeds is because good men do nothing.

Most. Adults. Don't. Really. Want. To. Hear.
Personally.

They want to be morally outraged from afar.

PAOLOS:
I have no pity for those people. There is a door, pack up your kids, open the door and leave, move out.
I can have no pity for that person. Sorry.

korthal~ I try to feel sympathy for the entrapped when the only person affected is the wife/girlfriend. But I do have to agree that there should be no moment where 'oh, it's only a little bruise' when it's your child being harmed. I have friends whose parents turned a blind eye to the abuse they were receiving...The amount of work required to get to semi-functioning adult is heartbreaking for those folks. 

Below is a link that explains a huge conspiracy of silence that occured in 1967, and which involved the Church (the one with a capital "C"), some Jesuit priests, and my then 17 year old husband to be. 
 
He was invited to the house (in the link article) by his high school English teacher (a male), who was also a friend of my husband's mother.  He'd called her and through her invited my husband to a day on the lake, in a big old house owned by X Corporation (which was a lie), he thought my husband could make some connections for his future in the business world or summer work, all the while enjoying boating and swimming at this magnificent house with some other boys and these corporate people.  My husband's mother said "Of course.  X will be delighted.  Thanks for inviting him."
 
Thanks indeed. 
 
It wasn't at all what the English teacher had described.  There were other "boys" there, there was the lake and a magnificent house right on its shore, but the corporate people didn't exist.  Instead, as it turned out, the house was rented by the Jesuit group who had a compound on the other side of the lake.  And so the "guys" were Jesuit priests, wearing Speedos (the dress of the day, said my husband - who never changed his clothes) and it became real clear real fast that the boys were there for the priests' sexual pleasure. 
 
My husband rightly assumed he was there to be checked out, to determine if he would like to become one of the boys of that summer -- he was decidedly not interested, and after a couple of hours, he just left.  He hitch hiked home, untouched by priestly hands.
And he never told anyone, especially his Catholic mother, and he put the whole bad situation out of his mind.  Five years later it all came up again, rumors began to circulate up here at the lake about a house where Jesuits were molesting boys -- and he told me about his fun day at the lake at that house. 
 
Here's the rest of the story, the bare bones of it, and about the good ex-father Donald McGuire who was the most active of the pedophiles in that house here on Lake Geneva (ironically, it's only 2.2 miles from our current house)  and - as you'll see from the article -- all over the world. 
 
This is a prime example of one big long conspiracy of silence, the Church is better than any other institution for keeping their dirty secrets in their many closets.  This time, a priest got caught.  One of the many who were in that house that summer, and the summer before, and the summer after.
 
 
I guess we can thank god for small favors.
http://archive.chicagobreakingnews.com/2010/07/father-don-mcguire-loyola-academy-wisconsin-wilmette-lake-geneva.html
 
 
 
PS:  why didn't my husband tell?  Embarrassment.  Fear.  Guilt.  The insecurity of a 17 year old boy:  "why did he think I'd want to be one of them?  Is there something wrong with me?
 
There was nothing wrong with him, but pedophiles know how young boys and young men think, and they count on this kind of thinking - that it will force the boys to remain silent about sexual molestations or attempted molestations..  And they do.  And the conspiracy goes on and on and on.
 
 

The worse crime on Earth is a crime against a child.

Korthal:  agree.
 
 
Jax:  You're right.  No one really wants to hear, to know.  That's how family stories and histories become rewritten over time.  The bad stuff gets edited out.  How the despicable uncle who insisted on having you sit on his lap during every family dinner becomes a goddam saint. 
 
I have a copy of 'collected family stories' that a cousin 100 times removed wrote, and I read it, scratching my head all the while.  I knew the 'characters' but they didn't behave at all the same way as I recalled them behaving...especially that awful uncle max.
 
I think I ought to write an expose of the whole family...I would, but it would take too long.  And so our history will be forever skewed...

PARK4~To your point: http://missrepresentation.org/media/breaking-the-culture-of-silence/  The idea that your husband or any of those boys would think it was their job to stay silent is so heartbreaking - and the idea that anyone who would talk about their experiences is anything less than a victim of people in authority abusing their power horrifically just makes me a little crazy. I'm not a gun-toting gal, but stuff like this does make me think about it...

He stopped going to church long before that, but after that experience, he never again claimed "Catholic" as his religion.
 
I'm not a gun-toter either, but a house full of pedophile priests is quite a temptation...

I am really liking these Unoaked Wines. Simply Naked is one I like a lot. The fruity burst is good. And my son works for a gourmet hot dog store that has a dog with homemade pimento cheese and bacon. On a dark day, thought I would throw in some foodie fodder. They also make some fresh tater chips with buffalo sauce and crumpled blue cheese. They just got in Schlitz tall boys to go with the PBR. Vandy students go USA.

To your welcome digression, TT~ This is what an incredibly happy potbellied pig looks like when he's had 1 1/2 glasses of imported from Louisiana beer straight from the keg. http://www.petermanseye.com/photos/564491  I've only recently had tater chips with blue cheese. That's a treat. 

Interesting that this brought to mind the pedophile priests and the church's efforts to bury that.  Those children too had their parents to fight as well as the "trusted" priest.

                                                       No one believed them.

I'm wondering how many of these children found that no one believed them or even if they had the words at such a young age to relate what was happening. and had nowhere to turn.  So very sad, so very heartbreaking.  And yes, calling the local police may not have helped in a college town, but as was said -- yell, scream, call the newspapers, post it online.  Just get them the hell off the streets and away from our children. 

As far as ranting, this is certainly something that deserves a rant.

CASSIE:  You can tell you Husband that he has a Dependable Trenchmate in me .......
 
MISS PARK4:   I agree with you ... I applaud your vehemence ... It is good to know that I am not the only one who can get his ass up over the Dashboard !!! 
 
And, I'll get you thru 'GUN-TOTIN' 101 in no time at all, 'thout your ever skinnin' yer knuckles .......

Andy ~
Damn tootin'

I like fig nootins'

Today is my dear friend Gigi's / the EyE's friend cuuckoo1 birthday. If she were still of this earth, this forum,....... She sure would have a lot of good-straight-shooting-no-punches-pulled things to say about today's topic. I know in my heart she would never be a silent witness but rather a kick-ass-and-take-names-later find of gal.

We sure could use a lot more like her, but she was one of a kind.

God knows I miss her so.

Peace out....

Miss Korthal ~ You are 100% correct.  Initially, I
wasn't speaking of a situation where the parent could or needed to move out. I
was speaking of an uncle or cousin or grandfather, one that the parent just
won't believe capable of abuse to the point of turning them over to the
authorities, but in that situation, suspecting, will keep the children away. 
Families tend to protect family.  I am not saying it is right, just saying that
it is often that way.
 
I did allow that thought to progress to the no way
out syndrome.  I don't and can't excuse it, I was only noting that it still
exists and I should have expounded that there are still too many willing to
give some scumbag a second chance because they feel trapped. Again you are 100%
correct, they should get the hell out regardless.

Happy Birthday G!  I'm still looking for those lace up boots, and when I find them I'll wear them with a smile and know you're smiling too.

I know our mention of the Wallender character has resulted in mixed reviews but a nice piece about Sweden's backdrop for crime fiction including Hollywood's version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo & the gloomy Kurt appeared in T&L this month. I loved the finish...frozen vistas frozen emotions & only blood to break the ice.

I'm off. Nos da, dear people.

Re: Stoney~4:28       back then, 911 may not have been handy, but the fire alarm box was! any distraction to make the terrible event cease,would be acceptable. And, imagine all the fireman , the crying child,and the naked old "perv"...but not have turned out the same...but, I do remember John Wayne Gacey...remember the story of the 12 yearold boy,naked,bloody rectum,running down A MILWAUKEE STREET,STOPPED BYPolice,and claimed by Gacey as a DISTURBED nephew, and allowed to return with Gacey...he had them in his spell,too....but how do they exist now? knowing they let that kid go back to certain hell,and death....I get the creeps just remembering that story...sorry,villagers,for reminding you.   I'll see if I can take my mind off of it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2FX9rviEhw&feature=youtu.be

As do we all, Peter Lake .......

I think of Angelis Arkansas every time eagles flies over and a lot of times when they don't.

Sadly, after all the things writ today, i may just go ahead and change my Village bio.....

My sister and I arrived at what we thought was a Summerhill type school. That's what the brochures said it was. Instead it was a pervasive festering bed of physical and sexual abuse perpetrated on the girls and boys by the headmaster and a few of his trusted staff.. I was very much afraid of him and felt that things weren't right, but it was the 60s and the other adults on the staff seemed to take it all in stride, so I thought it was just my insecurities making me feel so uncomfortable.
 
I had two "encounters", one by physical force, the other by intimidation, with him that I never mentioned to anyone out of fear...Fast forward 40 years and reconnecting with others from the "school" ...I find out I wasn't the only one after publicly accusing the headmaster of rape on an alumni website. Others joined in, including my younger sister who was systematically raped for two years starting when she was 14, yet she had never told me. ...of course I'd never told her either. A dozen other women and men recounted similar experiences, a few were as young as 12 years old. It took me years to realize that what was going on there...orgies with staff and students, had nothing to do with the sexual revolution of the 60s, but everything to do with someone in authority abusing their power, narcissism, pedophilia...and rape. He was a predator who knew how to pick his victims and knew how to separate siblings and pit them against each other...
 
Some of the women I'm now in touch with, did tell their parents, but the headmaster had a very glib tongue and always made the child out to be delusional or something else. The parents believed him....I think they needed to believe him...it was simpler and meant they didn't have to do anything. Hard truth to face, but many of us were sent to that "school" because our parents didn't know what to do with us. My sister wrote to our mother and then was punished by him for it. Our mother had called him and told him about the letter and wanted answers. He assured her that my sister was just an angry teen acting out. He wasn't a psychologist, but knew all the jargon, so was very convincing. That and the fact that he wore his collar turned around as a reverand of his Church of the Brotherhood  ....which gave him an air of respectablity to the local community.  
 
Anyway, this man is still alive and well, so we checked into what our options might be to bring charges against him, including contacting the Attorney General of Fl., but the statute of limitations had expired. Very disappointing to know that he continues to be free and still seeing young clients in his biofeedback clinic. After the school was closed, the headmaster did get a mail order degree in psychology which was later revoked by the state of Florida for malpractice.... against some of his clients/patients.  
 
It was very cathartic for me to be able to talk about it and to find out I wasn't alone, but made me feel terribly guilty for not sounding the alarm the first time he raped me...maybe I could have saved my sister or someone else.   Through all the reconnecting, we found out a lot. ...or remembered a lot that had been forgotten.
1.  A 1974 Times magazine article on the school....with a cover headline Valley of Horrors
2. A Senate sub-committee hearing on the money received by the C.H.A.M.P.U.S. program of the military, but in following the money, there was a lot of testimony on the abuses taking place ....but nothing was done to follow up on any of the horrible events that were brought up. Horrible stuff....but all they were interested in was the money.  They did cut off those particular funds which effectively shut the school down within a couple of years, but not soon enough to prevent a number of kids from being traumatized for life.
 
1 and 2  happened long after my days there and the alternative school had turned into more of a school for troubled kids which brought in more money.  One boy who was tortured returned from his stint in the army, with a shotgun to kill the headmaster, only to find that the school had been shut down. ...thank goodness, but reading his account of what was done to him was heart rending, and his attempt at revenge was understandable.   The thing is, there were adult staff members who knew what was going on and chose to leave. They never reported anything to the police. A couple I've been in touch with had the excuse that they were only 21 and 23 at the time and didn't know what to do. They were afraid too. The 21 year old was also raped by the headmaster, so she had first hand knowledge of what he was capable of....yet she just left. There were other staff that were older who also just left without sending in the troops to rescue us. Out of sight, out of mind. My sister finally ran away, but I was too afraid to run and I continued to be afraid of that man for 40 years, until I finally got up the nerve to talk about it.
 
Ry, just thinking about that boy running down the street and being returned to Gacy makes me sick. That kind of public persona is how this headmaster/reverand got away with it for so long, though I don't know of any buried bodies, we did wonder sometimes when kids disappeared and were never heard from again....but there were a lot of runaways...most of them we'd hear about through the grapevine, so we just hoped the others were alright too.

Shame also played a role.

At my boarding school there was a night watchman who would pick certain girls and entertain them with cigarettes and beer...I don't know of any actual molestation but he would awaken them to "party" by hugging them awake. Its a scary world.

    "Whatsoever ye do to the least of these my little ones, ye do also unto me." Oh yes! There is devine intervention awaiting these deviates and it would be my greatest pleasure to be a witness when it happens, AND IT WILL!!

PeterLake:  you said it so well.  Gigi had a pair of boots with pointy toes, for that exact purpose:  kicking the s**t out of jerks, and she wasn't afraid to do it.  She didn't use a lot of words,but the ones she used were just perfect...our dreamer...stone skipping and train flying and that door where we turned to the left, it was better in that car, through the sparkling glass revolving doors.    We were some kind of three, weren't we? Indeed we were.  Indeed.  We were.

JANE.........................I don't even have the words for how your post felt to read. The thought of you going thru something so horrifying is beyond thought. We will talk at some point. You are such a strong woman. I love you JANE..................
 
PARK.................thank G*d your young husband had the guts to get himself out of there. The mind cannot even conjure what some of those boys went thru.........................