You're on the Clock

I voted for "you Tell"..because that day-dream at a stop and go light is refreshing,relaxing, and replenishing....that is untill the rude horn beeps me awake....

I am so glad I don't have to think about meeting a man...I can't imagine the dating scene these days and feel fortunate to not be part of it. I did have a conversation with a friend not too long ago about how much fun we had back in the 60s and how different it is now and how careful young people have to be...healthwise...some things we didn't have to worry about, and didn't....ah, the freedom...but those days are long gone.

If I were a garden (a really, really big garden) implement, guess I would be a harrow.

If they made a movie of my life, guess I would have to play myself because all of the actors would be gone.

And Netflix would be pretty much out of business.

Our topic de jour is "You're on the Clock."

Never could understand that.

Being under the gun of the clock is stressful.

It is unnecessary pressure.

I went through decades without wearing a watch.

Did things at my pace.

Try it.

It will set you free.

Take back your minutes.

Recapture your hours.

Toss the clock.

It robs you of your time, your life -- tick tock after tick tock.

lotlot~are you saying you have the face for voiceovers?   .   .I imagine seeing yourself played by someone else is akin to hearing your recorded voice for the first time and saying"that's not me...I don't sound like that,...do I???"

here, like speed dating...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1TKUk9nXjk&feature=related

Tick tock, tick tock....whoa, slow down....if I was in the market, I'd take my time...no speed dating for me....what a funny concept....3 to 8 minutes? 3 seconds... first impressions obviously go a long way with the speed dating crowd....and how much can you gather from 3 seconds?...sounds very shallow to me.

Janej78...it's all in the aura

Darn, now I've got the munchies...for no good reason I can think of..

Good thing there are microwave (remember when they were called RADAR Ranges?)ovens...and leftovers....yummm

JaneJ78~  Time flies like an arrow- - - fruit flies like a banana     .   .   Groucho Marx

you muthft be carfthel when you microwaveth pitftha...the cheefth ith verry hotfth

RY~ Hope you are OK. Quick - suck an ice cube!

ROADYACHT:  Actually, it is all in the Pheromones ... which are fully perceptible within eight feet, to a person of average sensual capabilities (Sensual referring to the SENSES) and are made virulently intense by SOME Cologne's & Parfumes ... SOME, that is ... There are a number of Fragrance Offerings that are so cheap (not inexpensive, but of Low Quality) that even Pheromones are covered up and/or hidden ... Canal #5 is one Offender of the Olfactory Nerve ... Weekend in Bossier is another,  and I am most certain that, "Paris Soiree" Translates into Sewer of Paris, from the way it smells, especially when mixed with Hair Spray, Human Grease, and Cigarette Smoke ... There is this crap  made for Men called, Chaps ... that smells like a sweat-foamed Horse ....... I know that I am off-topic, as I often am, but I was simply addressing Roady's misnomer ...
 
We Now Return You To Your Regularly Scheduled Program ... Brought to you this Hour by the Makers of Blatz Beer ... As Dizzy Dean said, "Thats the Beer that Made Mel Framey Walk Us ..." .......

Marriage  and  children  are  entirely  too  important  to  subcontract  the  entire  research  process  to  some  anonymous  dating  service.   I  can  understand  the  concept  of  providing  names  and  some  common  interests,  with  the  next  step  of  contact  information.   I  can't  see  relying  on  disclosures  and  comments  that  may  in  fact  not  even  be  generated  by  the  person  on  the  other  end.   Show  me  a  classic  bookstore,  with  an  attached  coffee  shop,  and  gentle  music.  The  rest  will  take  care  of  itself.....

JANE............perfectly said. I believe I would just have some chickens & animals & call it a day. Speed dating? No thanks..................
 
IVAN.....................Chanel on clean skin & VERY lightly used is lovely!
 
Morning RY & LOT!

The way youngsters carry on these days, Ivan, they should be called feral moans. It's great being old enough to consider people-watching at their courtship rituals to be a spectator sport. Hang on, before you get the wrong idea, I am not a voyeur! It just makes me smile to see the youngsters in all their finery showing off in exactly the same way the garden birds are flirting in their best feathers at this time of year. And I know I should disapprove, but when seated in a restaurant near a couple who are clearly not married to each other, but probably to somebody else - the short story starts getting written on my table napkin - if it's a place that has paper ones. I confess to one occasion where I overheard something so funny I wrote it down on a linen napkin and stole said napkin. The manager was bowled over when, after six washings to get the ink out of the thing, I returned it, ironed and apologised. I love to see an old couple holding hands or cuddling up on the sofa ~ being married clearly works for some people. Living alone is great. You can be totally selfish with nobody to complain.
With some reluctance~ yesterday's talk of private messages and such. Sometimes, I see something in a person's message that looks like "not waving, but drowning" and it would not be appropriate to respond to them in the public domain. That's all I use it for, and half the time, the service does not work, anyway. There is a lot of love on this page that is more valuable than a speed-dating deal.
 

haze, I would be happy if I could get my private message setup to work even half the time.

I have never been able to get it to work.

So, again, thank you to those who have sent private messages, although i have not been able to read them.

Speed Dating sounds like a good advertisement for bringing back arranged marriages.  If you can't handle the responsibility of finding someone compatible and can't invest the time needed to properly assess the potential for a relationship, then let someone older, wiser and more experienced do it.  While pheromones  may play an important part, I am always amazed how our emotional radar picks out people.  We always pick people with whom we can live the problems we carry from our childhood.  Hence, someone from an alcoholic household will marry either another person from an alcoholic family or an actual alcoholic.  If a parent was mentally ill, then a partner who is either mentally ill or from a similar family is the match.  And it is all unconscious.  Once enmeshed (married or whatever), we have a basic choice, either to relive the problem or to work to solve it.  Someone I know whose mother is mentally ill and whose father is a recovering alcoholic was at a party and saw a young lady who looked interesting.  He'd never met her before.  When they talked, he learned she was from a highly dysfunctional family and had been on her own, on the streets, since the age of 14.  And he wondered how he had done that.  Out of all the people in the room, his radar picked out the one most dysfunctional.  How do we get out of such a "trap"?  The only way is to change ourselves, to change our psyches.  And that means therapy, self help programs, good religious programs, etc.  I suggest that speed dating will lead you straight to your worst nightmare.  If the date lasts three minutes, why not get married after fifteen minutes?  And divorced the next day...

lotlot~ I'm hopeless with computers, but some magic happened when I joined the EYE & everything worked! I have several times wanted to say something just for you - and been unable to because it won't SEND. I have no idea how you get onto somebody's Facebook, but there I am, somewhere. I'd be delighted to see you.

There are many good books on the subject of emotional connection and the consequences.  One of the first was Maggie Scarf's Intimate Partners.  Harriet Lerner has written several, including Dance of Anger and Dance of Intimacy.  And I am sure there are a jillion others.
Jalopkin, I have sometimes wondered what they make some of the commercial scents from, horse urine or pig sweat?  Anything in our overly antiseptic society to ensure that we do not smell like human beings.

When my husband and I met, it was, sort of, love at first sight. He had seen me while out and about and just needed time to work up enough courage to "make his move". That was 29 years ago; we will be married 26 years this October. Not all bliss and by no means an easy ride, but we knew in 8 seconds were meant to be together.

Off topic, just watching the 1pm BBC News - nasty weather in some parts. I pray you are all safe.
 
Speed- the moment my Ex#2 walked into the room, I thought "I am going to marry that man". I did. Bad idea. I will spare you the details.

Is today's article on looooove or on time savers? My favourite time saver is "No".
But while we are on loooove and the microwave, American comedienne Beverly Mickins says," I love the lines the men use to get us into bed. "Please, I'll only put it in for a minute." What am I, a microwave?"

I've been quite happily separated since mid-2006. It is rather fun being single again and getting attention and, if anything happens for me, it's probably going to be rather unexpected. I had a mental image of Teflon coating myself when the marriage didn't work. But I would love to hear from those here who've had second chances, how you went about it and why it worked.  While there's no lack of literature on what men and women look for in a mate for progeny sake, consciously or unconsciously, what about when you are done with that? I know I've changed myself. As someone who is quite game to try anything at least once, I might be game enough to try speed dating if I can coerce a friend, male or female, along, but only for a lark. Think of it as collecting a script for your next book - My life in 3 minutes...imagine the stories! Something that sounds more appealing is one of those intimate dinners for 3 or 4 couples, good food, good venue and hopefully good company. I believe my sister met her spouse at one of these. She's quite an unconventional person and it doesn't bother her that she is almost six years older, though it helps that she is youthful looking.

IVAN ~ it's time for your Bill Gates story.                                                                                                                                                              You've got 30 seconds.

Lotlot, does your firewall allow you to receive messages from Peterman's Eye? As a test, maybe you can use another email address and see if you have the same problem?

Lynn, picking up your thread on arranged marriages, I agree that can be horrifying. But an arranged marriage can mean many things - does the use of a matchmaker count? I remember reading somewhere that arranged marriages actually make up the highest percentage of matrimonial unions in recorded history and the concept of marrying for love is relatively recent. Most think that arranged marriages are peculiar to the eastern culture, but arranged marriages existed in western societies as early as the 1500s and definitely in Victorian Europe. Most matches were related to keeping a bloodline pure, keeping properties within the family or for economic reasons involving a "bride price". In Singapore, I have a couple of Indian friends who willingly agreed to their "arranged" partners, some of whom had been "arranged" through their international family links and may involve a partner from a different country. They always had the option of saying no, and never were they made to feel they had no choice. Most would have undergone some "matching" including an astrological consultation

Perhaps on a separate day, I would love to hear the funny pick up lines/manners that the villagers here have used or have received.

You have all raised some interesting asides to the "Under the Clock" topic: A movie of my life, I'd want Claire Danes to play me, Joan Crawford to play my mother (I know, she's gone, but this is all fantasy, anyway), Burl Ives to play my father, and I'd get to write the denouement.
 
I totally agree with LotLot about life already having too many timed segments to play a "fun game" of being under the clock. Those who have been teachers know the overbearing power of the school bell to divide your life into 55 minute phases. I hated it. From the moment the first bell rang, you were on the clock: entertain, educate, discipline, entertain, correct, organize, admonish, inform, inspire, and so on... until the clock showed just one minute til the next bell, and you have to wrap it up for that group and get ready for the next class. Sometimes the clock had you trying to meet the needs of 150 kids a day, plus the club or activity you had to "sponsor." It always felt like trying to do a high wire act in boots. I am so glad to be out of that hamster wheel!

I would be a trowel, played by Meryl Streep.

Hazel - "How to get on someone's Facebook?" You just type the persons' name into the Search box and hit Enter. Usually, you get about 20 photos of the same name, and then you have to look at each one to see if the place or Friends sound familiar to see if you have the one you are looking for. To contact, just Send a Message, or ask to Friend the person. When I see someone with over 2,000 Friends, I wonder if that person has a life besides surfing around the Facebook site! You can block certain persons if you want, too.

Mooseloop...I always thought it was only the students watching the clock.....lol...now I know!
 

Bert - I am in total agreement with your concept of the atmosphere for meeting the right person: book store, coffee shop, nice background music. Browsing the biography section. Sounds like you might find a kindred soul. Please send me someone who reads!

I do nothing in a hurry considering I commit myself for life when I believe I found my soul mate.  There is no such thing as a soul mate - it always has to do with our subconscious needs at that moment.  I met someone I fell over heels in love with at a late age - I questioned my behaviour because - it takes me normally a while to get to know someone before I open my heart in a relationship that requires me to sign up - to death do us part which is short for me but still too much  to hold on to someone who might stop me from growing into the best I can be.  We can blossom at any age - I have no doubt.
  -
 I observed that maybe the cause of my sudden speed of falling in love for another at my age is that I have little time and in a hurry to find the greatest love of all. I reasoned with myself that I met my soulmate and fate has brought him to me. I comforted myself with that thought but still kept searching and found that what we have in common is that we  are equal in our needs and wounds within and believe that together as soulmates we might heal our souls.  I tried to convince myself that holding on to another is the anwers to my pain  Instead of wanting to be free to heal my soul - my unconscious wanted to  crawl into another and entwine and turn into a pair of neurotic soul mates through bandaging rather than cleansing our wounds.
 
A soul mate can not be a bandaged - love has to be free and our wounds can only be healed through our efforts and embracing ourselves before we embrace others.  Life is all about true love that comes from within -you can not buy it or pretend to love it - you have to feel it through body and soul and wish to give up your life for another - if it was positively needed. 
 
There should be no speed dating to mate, I believe. Take your time and find who you are - in life it is not your mate you need to know - it is you; when you know and accept yourself which takes a lot of time and courage - you can step out side of yourself and observe every detail of your own potentiality and creativity to make you grow larger than life. You have to let go off yourself to embrace another.  Remember we are giving life to grow not to shrink.
 
Marriage is not solely about mating - it is about creating and growing and developing and embracing not just one soul mate but the whole world.  WE ARE ALL ONE - not just two - who hold on to each other so tight that they are unable to breathe and move.  Happiness is finding ourselves and when we find it we are ready to mate at any age - we will know the selected mate as well as ourselves.  Get on the treasure hunt and find the image of who you are and who you will grow into all through an enduring life. 

Joan Rivers says "Whats wrong with People magazine and a grilled cheese sandwich?"

Ahhh! Pheremones, arranged liaisons, strangers passing in the night, 30-second dates...
 
Some few years ago I worked with a very smart, well educated recovering 'country boy' who would regale us endlessly with his 'Perils of Pauline type/I could never win/I never got any' stories about his college dating experiences.
 
A recurring theme was about the girl he spotted across a crowded room and was instantly in love with. Usually he would work up the nerve to introduce himself and ask for a date. He would say he should have learned he was in trouble when immediately after he picked her up for the date; her beautifully made-up, "wearing that 'Manslaughter' perfume" and my first thought was to stop by the blood bank and sell a pint of blood so he would have enough money to help her see the wisdom in surrendering all...which, of course, never happened.
 
I think there's a moral in here...it ain't easy always having to be the pursuer, never the pursued. 

Fay - I like your "Know thyself" theme to entering a relationship. I believe that, too.
 
George - I can hear your lament, and I agree. There is nothing in my book that says the gal can't make overtures. She just doesn't want to appear to be too pushy or desperate. If it is an honest interest, I see no problem with a girl asking the guy to meet. I have done it to great success, and I can see no gender bias in the open expression of interest. First, you have to be ok with "What if he (she) says, NO."I think the fear of rejection stops many.

Spring - IN my classroom, I always had 2 clocks, one in the back of the room (for me to see) and one in the front for the kids to know the time. If the teacher does not keep an eye on the clock, he/she tends to get cut off in mid-sentence or mid-lesson, so awareness of the time is crucial to planning. That compartmentalized experience was what I hated. It is just not natural. I am much more free now to enjoy life in its own time.

As ChefDeb points out - Relaxing with a magazine and tea (or a grilled cheese sandwich) is what life offers in no limited segments. School might be better if we did Shakespeare for a week, then math the next week, and so on....I don't know the perfect system, but a bell ringing to cut a day into 7 class periods just got on my nerves for 30 years!

All kidding aside, I did recognize my husband the moment I met him. It was years before we married and we had a good run. Friends & lovers. And subsequent loves have been as true, but one doesn't necessarily displace the other. Had my husband been alive I wouldn't have been looking or being looked at ....I am alone now with no plans but one never knows who one will meet lining up for coffee..

We are born under a ticking clock.....and most parents raise their children as if the clock ticking was the judge of the child's abilities or capabilities.  So from our first breath we are tick-oriented.  There are few adults out there who don't regret rushing into being "grown-up" in one form or another....Some people say time is our enemy, when time should be our friend.  Time well spent is time enjoyed without glancing at the clock.  Arnold Bennett wrote a very short book called, "How to Live on 24 Hours a Day" where he tells us that "the supply of time is truly a daily miracle, an affair genuinely astonishing whe one examines it.  You wake up in the morning, and lo! your purse is magically filled with 24 hours of the unmanufactured tissue of the universe of your life!  It is yours.  It is the most precious of possessions."  I ask, would you enjoy drinking a great wine looking to see how much is left in the bottle?  Would you enjoy the dessert worrying about how much is left?  Moments of time should be enjoyed just as richly...and not with an eye on the clock wondering how we can squeeze yet one more thing in, if we take a few minutes off of this activity.  Digital clocks are encouraging the speeding up of things.....second hands on analog clocks make us haste.....Those flowers DO need smelling....those sunsets watching--even those sunrises if you are so bent.   We used to laugh and get exasperated at my dad when he smoked his pipe because he was almost 'unreachable' to us....but he really knew the value of not hurrying and letting time get away.  And you know what?  Like Arnold Bennet said, every morning he woke up with a full purse of 24 hrs again.  

The only time I bother about time is when I'm cooking a 3 minute soft boiled egg. I do pay attention when I have made an appiontment or date, as I consider it impolite to be late. I do not wear a watch. If I have invited dinner guests, I'm somewhat relieved if they are a few minutes late - single-handed catering as in serving drinks and finishing off the starters can be a bit .... unexplained hysterical laughter from kitchen moments.

Let's assume speed dating, or computer dating, or SOME kind of dating worked out...Let's assume the happy couple, probably past their first youth, are going to be married on the beach.  She will be in pearls and a long white dress, but won't bother with a veil or a train.  She may even be in flip flops or barefoot.  What, dear Eyesters is an equivalent costume for him?  Should he wear a tie?  Should he wear a jacket, either with or without the tie?  Can anybody wear a suit and tie and no shoes?  Ignorant people want to know...  I am assuming no leis or garlands and I am assuming the traditional hidebound backward paradigm of a man and a woman- at least one of whom either has a job or a lot of money.

MISS BEBE:  I agree with you completely, on Chanel ...  What I am referring to is the Knock-Off stuff that is sold at the Dollar General Store, for Fifty Cent a Gallon ... regardless of the "Name" ... it is all the same stuff, not made with Ambergris, but with the Musk Glands of a Civet Cat ... Like the High Karate/Brute/Zizane' stuff of the late 60's early 70's ... all the same crap with a different name, and it smelled like stale Beer ... All the Drugstore Cowboys and Meat Market Studs would douse themselves so heavily with the stuff, that it was like the De-Lousing Shed in a Louisiana Prison Camp out in the Swamps ... the only distraction from the smell was noticing that none of the Guards wore Boots, and they all had webbed feet ... Thats was in my early days as a Brig Chaser, and the only benefit was that the Sailor or Marine I was to pick up, was crying tears of joy and relief, for being Rescued .......
 
PAOLOS:  My only Bill Gates Story goes back to when he and Steve Jobs were in their early days, and working in Austin , Texas .......  That was long before we knew the word, NERD ... back then they were called, "Eggheads" or "Pointy Heads" ... (Egghead we got from Eisenhower, in referrence to Adlai Stevenson ... himself a Pointy Academic, with very little grasp on Reality ... a pleasant fellow, but well on his way to Ozone3 ...)

I am trying to remember what a guy I knew years ago said about marriages after the first one: I think he called it the triumph of hope over experience.  I have been divorced twice and now am happily married for almost 14 years.  The difference is that both of us had done a tremendous amount of inner work before we met.  If I had all of the money I spent on therapists and had invested it wisely, I would be a multi-millionaire.  Or something like that.  As it is, I have inner peace, love, contentment and a happy life.
Spring Fragrance, There is not a society on earth that at some time or other has not had arranged marriages.  I remember the Barbara Streisand movie, Yentl, in which she sings something about, "Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match..."  Of course, most of the arranged marriages in Europe were upper class folk.  No one discusses how the peasants met and mated.  I would assume they would go to the local priest and actually get married.  Marrying for love is more of an 18th and especially 19th Century phenomenon.  I think the old saw used to be that one married and then fell in love, rather than the modern reversal.  I believe the record shows that arranged marriages were as successful as the more modern version.  However, because divorce was practically impossible, many marriages remained in place while the couple lived separate lives.  I've read of people painting a line down the middle of the house and never crossing it.  That's a sad, angry way to live.
The sad thing is that in today's society we are so busy (or think we are) and so multi-tasked that we do not take time for our own personal emotional and spiritual health.  We do not move about the community in such a way that we could actually encounter enough people to find someone to whom we are attracted.  We also seem to expect perfection and no troubles, both impossible and unrealistic.  There is always some point in a marriage when people seem to think that they did not sign up for whatever is going on.  That is not correct: they did.
It is an interesting phenomenon at least in the US that men remarry much more quickly than women.  Women who remarry usually do so after several years.  Many men remarry within a year or two.

Men remarry quickly, Lynn830, because they can't find their socks by themselves.

Wille,

 How about a tie dye tee shirt or Hawaiian shirt under the jacket, or better yet shorts and a tie and jacket.

Willie, A tux and no shoes.  Make sure he paints his toenails...bright
colors recommended.
 
IVAN ~ I'll be right back.

Carol!, boy you can't let yout guard down for a second...here  those of us who aren't
as smart thought we might not be completely alone among this august body and now the truth comes out. You're smart, perceptive, sensitive and stuff!
 
 

I think I have a gorgeous post-WWII green cord jacket made by MacGregor that my father bought once home from the Pacific and it needs to be evaluated by Mr. Peterman. Can someone there get this ball rolling for me please? this is a special item that should not be lost to us...

Willie Trask ~ The word assume went out of my vocabulary when a tutor pointed out that it makes an ass out of you and me. Attire for the groom at beach weddings? Not my area of expertise, but I am sorely tempted to deliver a list of silly suggestions.

The matchmaker song is actually from "Fiddler on the Roof" if I'm not mistaken---and now, of course, I can't get it out of my head!  George--what very kind words from you--I feel honored by the praise.  Thank you!

IVAN ~ I didn't want to steal
your thunder, but this is one of the best speed dating stories
ever.



 
 
Morris says to his son: . . . "I want you to marry a girl of
my choice."

His son immediately replies: "I will choose my own bride,
father."

Morris sighs: "But the girl is Bill Gates' daughter."

 

The son thinks about this only for a split second -then
answers: "Well, in that case, yes! OK Dad."

Morris then approaches Bill Gates and says: "I have a husband
for your lovely daughter."

 

Bill Gates quickly answers: "No chance! My daughter is too
young to get married!"

Morris says: "But this young man is a vice-president of the
World Bank."

 

Bill Gates thinks for a while then answers: "Ah well, in that
case, yes, that'll be OK with me."

Finally Morris goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Morris smiles and says: "I have a young man to recommend as a
vice-president."

The president hurriedly answers: "Not interested, I already
have more vice-presidents than I need."

Morris continues smiling: "But . . . this young man is Bill
Gates' son-in-law."

 
A few seconds pass then the World Bank President answers: "Ah
that's interesting, Hmmm ... in that case, well yes, he can start tomorrow."

 
And that is how successful Jews do
business.

I have noticed that the people who had the happiest marriages are the first to remarry when they lose their other half. I think its kind of a tribute to what a good marriage they had. And then theres the sock thing.

In the restaurant frequently an older gentleman will order eggs. When asked how he wants them he is annoyed. "Scrambled or fried?" More disdain. Finally he answers "Fried." "How do you want them cooked? Sunny? Over?" further disgruntlement from customer---this is someone's husband who for 40 years has said "do you want scrambled or fried" and he hasn't a CLUE how he takes his eggs. I have trained scores of pretty young waitresses to be gentle.

CAROL @ 11:23 ~ that's great for women and the men who carry purses, but what about the rest of us?  My day is now over half full.

LYNN:  Some of us Marry for "The Idea" of Love ... at least the first time ... Many of us RE-Marry, because we hate sleeping alone and we are too Big for Teddy Bears ... and Cousin Earl just won't do  ... Besides, I don't think there is any better feeling than lying naked in a bed with a woman that you love, and whom you believe Loves you too ....... It is an intoxicating validation of one's Right to be alive ... Regardless of any/all Spiritual/Religious/Philosphic justifications/arguments/Beliefs ... THAT Brother, is the one that counts ... and it is not a Libidinal thing at all, but more having to do with one's assessment of Self Worth ... The full ramifications of that concept explains exactly why if a Baby is not touched, after birth, it dies ... When I'm a Kid, just barely post Bar Mitzvah, my Uncle Lewy said to me, "Hey You, Casanovaberg ... You can marry a Girl that you know you can live with ... or you can marry a Girl that you can't live without ... but you can never have both, in one woman ....... And you best find one thats got some smarts, because when her hair is Gray and those Tits you were so crazy about are slapping her knees, with her face looking like a baked football ... you'd better be able to carry on a conversation sitting in the Parlor, otherwise you won't have any reason to ever get old ..."
As crude and startling as the delivery was ... I have had the wisdom proven to me, in my own life and others', time and time again ... There are plenty of arguments from Magazine and TV Shrinks, and always have been ... but unlike Dr. Phool, one cannot use the same criterion for every Relationship and how to "Fix" it .......
 
PAOLOS:  Fire At Will, Bubba !!!!!!! You are welcome to anything but My Kids and My Cars ...

Mooseloop ~ Glad to see you survived the storms. 
At one time or another last night and early this morning, I thought they were
bearing down on you.  I did not know until last night that the radar
image displays the debris picked up off the ground by a tornado.  It would have
been obvious to me if I had ever devoted any thought to the matter. 
The twisters went north and south of us.  Whenever a storm approaches, I go to
the back deck and howl back at it to channel the storm in another direction.  So
far it has worked, for the most part.  You know what they say about a
butterfly's effect on the weather.  Maybe I am responsible.  Sorry.
 
IVAN & GYTHA ~ I hope your kin in Rome are all
safe, I haven't heard of any deaths there, but there was a ton of damage.  My
wife's sister works at a Gadsden hospital and she had to watch the futile
efforts of the staff trying to revive a little girl.  So sad, so
indiscriminate.
 
BEBE ~ I finished a story last night called The
Lady of the Lake, by Scott Ely.  It is set in Como and on or in the nearby lake.  I think it is Sardis Lake, I don't believe there is a Lake Como near the
town, is there?  Some time ago I fished Lake Sardis with a friend who has a
little cabin in the woods nearby.   I have eaten at the Como Steak House many
years ago.  The story was so very much the way I remember the town and the
people. 

Carole- your 11:23 offering was filled with a bounty of mighty fine thoughts and feelings of calm wisdom. Very nice. Thanks a bunch for sharing them.

Except for a few times when they didn't, my Mom and Dad always held hands when walking ..... As if to make sure that neither of them would float away.

Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis on romantic relationships:

 
"You marry the first time for sex, the second for money, and the third for friendship."

 
If one could stand all those husbands, and all that marrying, then I think she's onto something.
 
As for me, I married for love, a not so recent concept -good grief!, it's going on 41 years, and I'm delighted I didn't have to go through a divorce, because no matter how they deny it ("Oh, really we're still very good friends" "No, you're not.") it's a life changer, alterer, and often times, No 2 is no better than No 1 and so forth.
 
Some people just ought not to marry.  Men and women alike.  It's not something some are suited for, I think.  I mean face it if you need absolutely need to be the center of everyone's universe all of the time, you won't be happily married ever. 
 
Or if you're more strong willed than you'll admit, and must be right all of the time:  marriage is probably not in your future, or it shouldn't be.
 
Or if you're Katharine Hepburn, who had her own idea about romantic relationships:
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. 
 
Ain't Kate great?
 
 
 
 
As to the secret of a long marriage, someone else who spoke with confidence born of experience said it best of all, I think:
 
"Why did we marry?  Because I am me and he is he."   

I'm concerned about bebe.  This horrible weather...the pictures on the news are chilling.

LotLot's comment about not is wearing a watch is right on target The day I retired I took off my watch and haven't worn one since and do not miss it. A friend who is a retired bartender and worked in pretty upscale places has heard lots of pickup lines. Her favotite was when the guy dampened his finger on an ice cube then thouched the arm of a woman next to him and said we need to go get you out of these wet clothes.

Me too Park, my hopes are for her safety and everyone else in the path of those storms.

Whether it is fast or slow, if t leads to that special moment when time actually stands still and everything else just fades out of focus, then its all good.

For all who speed date and it works out great. My feelings are very well reflected  in the old song "I Want A Sunday Kind of Love"

Don't we all
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAURgA8jvVg

Has anyone put a stopwatch on this deal?
April 23, 2011 1:07 PM

Beautiful song Paolos, thank you.

Concern for Bebe as well.

HG ~ that one will never change, it is writ in
stoney.
 
ChefDeb, It was rwh1's idea, but thank you just the
same.

HG... Timeless

Houseguest:  No, there's no time limit on that affair: "For those who love, time is not."
 
 
"writ in Stoney:" I swear paolos the two of you (or the three of you) are sounding more and more like each other all the time.  Not similar, so much as sympatico.  Which, once again, results in delightful exchanges for the rest of us to read.
 
 

I do think men remarry out of loneliness. And Jalopkin, there is nothing better than having the lady you love and who loves you beside you, naked or not, though the latter is a blessing that should be frequented.  Even in the my first marriage to a lady who was later diagnosed as mentally ill, there were enough moments of companionship if nothing else (and there was more) that I knew I did not want to live alone after the marriage ended.  I know a few people who have never married and I feel sorry for them; they have missed some of the finer moments in life.  All the ones I know are extreme introverts.  And those who never have children have missed an experience that makes us fully adults.  Without that experience, we do not make that final progression.  Not that having children guarantees it - it is a choice and an offering.
And yes, sometimes we cannot find our socks.  But sometimes we can (my own clothing is better organized than my wife's).  Park4, the quotation from Jackie Kennedy is interesting, though I do not fully agree with it.  Each time I married, the reasons and motivations differed, but marrying for money was not one of them.

House Guest ~
Calendars and a lot of them.

Park 4 ~
The first time that I saw something that I had written in print, at least with attribution, it was quoting our old neighbor. Mr. Simpson's, advice to a guy older than me.
"If your favorite pronoun has only one letter or begins with "M," give the girl a break, cut her loose so she can find a fellow who thinks in terms of: us, we and ours."
There was more but you get the idea.

These storms in the South are scaring the hell out of me. Hope everyone checks in.

Kinda like this......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkAwpDeu-Ts&feature=youtube_gdata_player

I'm feelin' a tad sappy today. I blame it on the weather.

Be safe. Stay warm and dry. Be well........ Catch ya on the flip side of today...

Stoney:  Mr. Simpson was a very wise man.  And well married, I suspect. ?
 
The "M" word.
 
It's the marriage-killer, #1. 
 
People with M word issues ought to just buy a full length mirror, and let it go at that. 

paolos ~  Thank you for your
kind concern.  My family is well, despite major damage all around them.
 

Mooseloop ~  so glad to hear
you weathered the storms.  I have friends up in your neck of the woods who
say it was quite bad up that way.

Regarding the time it takes to fall
in lasting, sustaining love and multiple marriages... with my first husband, we
dated for over 5 years before we married.  Taking the time to get to know
one another didn’t help.  I think we
wanted to be in love, but really we weren't, only in drama.  

The second time was faster.  My
husband has always maintained, that for him, it was love at first sight.  I
took me longer (I can be a little slow to catch on at times).  Not because
he wasn't wonderful or funny, smart, kind & handsome, but because I'd
chosen sooo badly the first time.  Also, I didn't really know how to be
loved. I think that's why we choose people who repeat our early life
patterns.  We learn early what love is and if what we experience is a
counterfeit version, that's what we continually seek. If I had had loving eyes
of my own, I would have been able to recognize my soul mate in 8 seconds,
sure. 

Lucky for me, my darling is
infinitely patient.  That patience and much wooing and of course I fell
for him.  Many years later & I’m still head over heels.  He's still the most romantic person I know.  And the most patient.

I like Shawn Mullins’ description, "love
is an ocean, I am anchored in you."  Or this one by him:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgucNh2Hc1o

Bebe--If you're out there know that the whole Village is concerned and hoping for the best for you.  We all hope that you live in one of those little secluded pockets that the storms pass on by..........

Park4

Some of us are lucky enough to win the trifecta !

We can't get any rain here, even with hail and mesocyclone sign just a few miles away.

I, too ,am concerned for bebe and anyone else having twister troubles.

Park4, you have touched on an interesting point. I often wonder if anyone in our virtual community posts as more than one person.

As for the 3 speed dating questions:

Marlene Dietrich or Greta Garbo,

Anything but a hoe

 29 years.

This marriage broker thing is big business i.e.  the computer dating and speed dating services.

I have 5 matches to my credit and have a reputation as the local matchmaker ( I have   actually had people ask for me to find someone for them or their relatives.)

Maybe I'll start a "bundling' service. It works for the Amish.....

Is anyone affected by the wild storms tearing through middle America? Just hearing on the news 150 twisters went through in the last 24 hours?!

GYTHA ~ Your, or Shawn's "love

is an ocean, I am anchored in you." reminds me of a poem I wrote many years
ago to my dearly beloved.  If y'all can suffer through another one...

On Tides

Those were such restful
nights,

The nights I lay by your side

While you were lost in your
dreams,

Those nights I would ease my
hand

Beneath your waistband

My palm resting upon your
belly

Rising and falling

With your every gentle
breath.

You, my love, are the core of my
world,

My hand is a restless ocean

Rising and falling

With your every gentle breath

And my fingertips, outstretched,
rise and fall

With you, like the rise and fall
of the tide.

Park$~ Congratulations on you '41'... we're coming up on 55. Everyday hasn't been peaches and cream but altogether wonderful! Fortunately we never, both at the same time, decided to call it off and tese are the good old days.
 
To the subject of why men marry...I think to keep from losing someone who has become the most important person in your life...more than father, mother, sister, brother. Does that have a familiar ring to it?

DAMMMMMM I hate when that happens.  That's not the way it was sent.  Spoils the whole presentation.  It's as if it got caught up in one of those twisters.  Never again, never again, never never again.

?
 
 
 

GeorgeHall:  congratulations to you and yours!  I love it, to hear double digit year marriages.  You better know you're doing something right, know what I mean?  And there's no prescription or ingredient or recipe that works.  It's a mystery, love, and I love it that way.
 
Miss Blue:  the trifecta!  Perfect metaphor from a horsewoman. ;)

 Cold compress in aisle paolos!

I am now going to Private Message Bebe.  If the train starts to shake from side to side, you'll know it's the private message machine below deck, delivering the message which will say:  "Are you alright? Answer ASAP."  and then I'll sign it, "worried, p."
 
 
I'm just yanking your chains, you PM peoples.  Just teasing you. 
 
Here comes the shakin'...

PARK ~ if the ? was intended for me, I was expressing consternation over what should have been a simple cut and paste operation that unintentionally exploded onto the page. I have yet to master the art of pasting poems here.  That should tell me something.                  George squeezed in between my posts.  If it was meant for George Hall (another storm survivor) I could speak for him, but then you and Miss Blue might think we are one and the same, which would be an honor for me and vexatious for poor George.  Thanks for the compress, Stoney.  I'm better now.

I think thesepia just flattened another penny placed on the tracks......and an angel just got it's wings

PAOLOS:  All my Folks up in Rome, I'm sure, have packed the Still up into an Oceangoing Container, that is Anchored about forty feet in the ground ... and then Caravan'd down to Savannah Beach ....... Whatever is washed or blown away ... the important things will Still be there when they all get home .......
 
I'm figuring/Hoping that Eve is OK, as well .......

Well, Bebe's okay and she's talking cheeseburgers so she's really okay. 
 
But there are people around her who aren't okay, the saddest stories, I hope she relays them.
 
Certainly puts what's important in life in neon lights...
 
 
Paolos:  long as you're okay, ... ;)  I don't think the poem looks bad.   There are worse things than exploding poetry.  Like when I used Firefox and couldn't paragraph.  That was Bad.

Thanks, Park.  Glad to hear our Bebes is OK.

Hey all...................It was 2 1/2 days of something allright................I feel very lucky because much in the county was flooded or destroyed...................It really hurts to see those people who go into a closet or the bathtub & 1 minute later their whole material lives are gone...................Like I said I feel very lucky. I've never experienced that much constant severe weather..................I do love winter!
Thanks PARK, PL, CAROL, MISS BLUE & CHEFDEB for concern................makes one feel  
good.
 
HEY CASANOVABERG..................that was an incredibly funny post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
PL...............so nice about your parents holding hands; I like that a lot..........
 
PAOLOS...................beautiful poem, lucky wife! And yes, my bookclub used to meet at the Windy City Grill, right next to the Como Steakhouse. I have never eaten there, but I plan to rectify that this summer................Sardis Lake so close I can kiss it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
PARK...................thank you so much; it means a lot..............

Oh, Beebs ~
Thank goodness.

I think I just heard a great big collective sigh of relief throughout the Village, Bebe!!

BEBE ~ Good to know your are safe.  The last time I saw this much destruction was when the city of Xenia Ohio was destroyed by a twister in 1970.  Tuscaloosa looks like a war zone. The destructive path from Philadelphia MS through Tuscaloosa, Birningham, to Ringold Ga is incredible.

Rockapella
Rake
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_trJCGVD1U4
 
G'night all

Yeah bebes...I'll call back the rescue Saint Bernards now that I know you are safe....... Although they were bringing Chicago style hot dogs in specially designed steamer packs.....

Be well, safe and dry.

Park....thanks for taking the initiative to check on her!

I sometimes think that perhaps the perfect marriage was that of Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera---they lived in separate houses built a few yards apart, and connected by a"peace bridge." (Was it Katherine Hepburn who said, in effect, that men and women should live in separate houses and visit each other once in a while?)

Denizens of the Eye have probably heard my guttersniping refrain of replacing marriages with four-year contracts. I have seriously feared on occasion that marriage has a zero-sum aspect to it: it seems that every married couple I know carefully couch the descriptions of their marriages in terms of how much "work" it takes.

In his world-class novel "Mating," one of Norman Rush's main characters worries that all marriage would be for her is "two people locked in a slow-motion wrestling match." I suspect that everyone recalls Ambrose Bierce's definition of marriage in his "The Devil's Dictionary": "two masters and two slaves making, in all, two."

I really think it's important to emphasize that the notion of marriage being the result of love between two people is a historical johnny-come-lately. Before being subverted by religion as a sacrament and by Hallmark as a thing romantic, marriage was all about legal transfer of property, primarily land-holdings.

One of the best topics of late, which is to say that you all are the most erudite and well-written crowd around.

Mssr. Peterman, a topic suggestion if you're taking suggestions today: we should talk about "trades", as in the types of livelihoods that are typically called "blue collar", contrasted against "white collar". I started out white collar, and then went to academic robes (no collar, big hoods, so that would be "the hooded profession"? Oh, that's too rich with possibility, but I digress), but I find myself drawn to a blue collar trade of late and the rewards are many.

So there's my idea for a topic.

Again, this is the most interesting room on the internet, bar none. Good night, all.

Wow, a C-note... been awhile.
One time, when I used: "Waiting for a tradesman," as an excuse to not go somewhere, the response was outrage.
"Why don't you just say little person or peon?"

Hey Bebe....so glad you checked in and let us all know that you're safe and sound.

No kidding, Stoney? I've never used the word "tradesman" until this past year, but now I find the term replete with meaning - all positive. I think it a compliment of a rather high order. In fact, if my idea to Peterman became a topic, I would hold forth at length (shocking, I know) about the disjunct in modern society between the ideals of "building something of real value" versus the usual, cubicle-job ideal of "get a bigger bonus". Or something like that, anyway. I'm two margaritas into the evening (and each of mine are rather larger than each of anybody else's), so I'm not to be trusted.