Willy-nilly choices are a downer thetimes.co. When it comes to animals as aphrodisiacs, rhinos are so last year. If Mrs Vu had been keeping up with latest developments, she would have known that dried zebra nostrils are all the rage.
Weird But True New York Post ...Dutch couple shelled out $203 for four deep-fried snacks that a street vendor in India promised were loaded with aphrodisiacs. But soon after devouring the alleged sex samosas, the couple decided they weren't doing the trick and called the cops on the vendor...
Considering the oyster with David Foster Wallace Los Angeles Times ...and fly to Los Angeles where he'll discuss and serve the slippery little mollusks at Canelé's "Consider the Oyster" event (6:30 to 10:30 p.m., Nov. 24; $60 per person). "The water is to the oyster what the soil is to the vine," Chamberland says. "Grapes are...
Superstitions started in the Dark Ages and still most of wouldn't walk under a ladder if we could avoid it. Is there a rational explanation?
 by JPeterman |
|
 by JPeterman |
|
 by Jonathan Isles |
|
December 03, 2008
A story in the Chicago Tribune says that University of Rochester researchers, conducting psychological experiments, determine that women wearing red are a turn on for men.
Which got me thinking that aphrodisiacs might be an appropriate topic for the J. Peterman Sex workshop, now in session.
The word, Aphrodisiac, comes from the ancient Greek goddess of love and beauty, Aphrodite herself.
Questions arise. Is there any scientific truth that any of it works? Or is it all in the mind? Or does it really matter?
And what about this oyster business?
While China and Japan attribute miraculous powers to the Asian Oyster Crassostrea gigas, it seems that the only reason it’s in this category is due to its evocative appearance.
The Danes, cutting right to the chase, call it the Vulva fish. Killjoy that I am, I must report that experts claim the oyster's makeup of water, protein, carbohydrate, fat, cannot possibly contribute to making out.
Other foods in this category rumored to have sexual power are those that resemble sex organs, and you know who they are. Hot foods are supposed to get you "hot." Then there's the "if it’s exotic, it must be erotic school."
The Aztecs considered chocolate a powerful aphrodisiac and everyone got excited, in the early 1980s, when researchers detected the chemical phenyl ethylamine in it that can arouse emotions. But not enough, alas, that matters.
The Food and Drug Administration put the final kibosh on all of it by issuing a statement that no reliable evidence exists that any foods are aphrodisiacs. However, they do issue a qualifier by saying there are difficulties conducting ethical experiments, given the sensitive nature of the subject.
What are we left with?
Because of the length of Rhino lovemaking and a certain part of the male's anatomy, the Rhino horn is thought to have secret powers. However, it’s made up of Keratin and considered useless. The Horny goat weed (actual name) is an aphrodisiac first described in ancient classical Chinese medicinal texts. So, presumably, it’s been fooling people for years.
Cantharides, from the beetle Spanish Fly, has a disagreeable scent, bitter flavor, and has only been proven to make you sick. The Marquis de Sade made the mistake of slipping some of it into some women's sweets, and was convicted, in 1772, under a poisoning charge.
If you want to believe in aphrodisiacs, Dr. Winnifred Cutler has patented a "horny formula" she calls Athena Pheromone 10X and will be glad to sell it to you.
She may even believe in it herself. And I guess, if you believe hard enough in any "aphrodisiac" it might work.
In the end, the only truly effective aphrodisiac seems to be the one that’s been effective all along. “Your biggest sex organ is the one between your ears,” says Dr. Granzig, President and Professor and Dean of Clinical Sexology at Maimonides University.
Although it is possible I may have left something out. Some of you might be privy to the advanced course.
Share the Eye:
Share your opinion Print Email
The secret to sexual attraction has to be in THIS little gem:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/16417/saturday-night-live-googly-eyes-gardener
That's right. Eye contact. Hugely important.
Only because I just happened to finish the first four chapters of Genesis, I must insist that it was not Adam what plucked that fatal fruit, but Eve.
I guess if we believe in an aphrodisiac, it might work - that whole placebo effect and whatnot. Though after that statement by the FDA, believing seems dubious.
I don't like chocolate, because it leaves a strange aftertaste in the mouth - milk chocolate makes you taste like after milk - all mucus-ey - and dark chocolate is bitter. Alcohol doesn't make you any more likely to get lucky (subtle reference to yesterday, ahem) - it just makes you more likely to regret it in the morning.
Personally, I find, strangely enough, that sweat does the trick - although I think that's more a question of pheromones.
Actually, the oyster is one of the few purported aphrodisiacs with actual scientific content to back up its reputation. Unlike the other well known aphrodisiacs, the oyster's prowess is not purely visual. It is loaded with zinc, a key ingredient in testosterone production and, hence, sexual performance in both genders.
Shibbolethian (love the new name, by the way),
Does alcohol make you more likely to regret it in the morning? Or does it make you LESS likely to remember it in the morning?
Or does it subvert the entire enterprise? Strengthening the will but weakening the flesh?
Hmm, early on- sufficient nutrition and liquids to sustain a pulse and a member of the opposite sex, preferably within ones own species are just about all that are necessary to get something asmoldering.
Later, much later and if you are very lucky and some of us are, you may be with someone whom you have for so long adored that you cannot remember when you didn't.
Why then, it is a simple barefoot drawn down the back of your leg; a bit of a nudge; a sigh and maybe a cleared throat if you are slow on the uptake.
The chords are all known to you both and so is the tune. About an hour should suffice.
The only help required from outside: peace; quiet and time.
What works for me? If the sun comes up.
Jonathan-You're more right than you know, perhaps. If I make eye contact with a man, touch my hair or earring, run my hand down my other forearm, let the slingback slip off my heel of the crossed leg, things happen. Good things...
Sudden craving for sausage. Gotta go.
I can't believe what the sidebar said, perhaps it was askance I read
That fugu nuts and the cat's meow might set the bull upon the cow?
If aphrodisiac they were, I'd have to ask you then, good sir
Why poison and a dead cat's dick would make one hot and not just sick?
jalopkin said...
Never have relied upon application of so called, "Aphrodesiacs" even tho' I know the chemical activity of some of the substances often mentioned, and how they can indeed stimulate Endorphins in the Body, which can cause a variety of reactions and particularly when the mind of the User/Victim/Dupe/Experimenter etc. is amenable to whatever the Next Step might be ...
But, I know what it is about a woman that piques my interest, and sets my blood racing at a hundred miles an hour ... (with absolutely no referrence to Al Pacino, as this existed for me decades before the Movie was made) The Scent of a Woman ....... Not Perfume, Soap, Deodorant, or any cosmetic or Hygiene application ... but the warm and dizzying smell of her skin, especially where her pheromones are apt to be prevalent ... that earthiness that mixes with the sweetness that isn't applied but seems enhanced and more welcomely produced if her attitude is pleasant, and genuine appreciation of her is not suspect or perceived as a threat, but felt, at gut-level ... to border at least, on worship ....... The scent that one can almost taste ... that fuels the desire to explore and enjoy even more ... that makes a man scared of absolutely, nothing ... And over the years I have noticed subtle but remarkable differences in the presents of olfactory aura between one woman and another ... and have been delighted, everso thankful that I am a man .......
more on the honor roll"Some of you might be privy to the advanced course."
Does that mean that if we answer correctly we get to ATTEND the advanced course?
Serious question: do men need an aphrodisiac? EVER? Have not met one yet who needed anything other than a restraining order. And that's not a criticism, btw.
My votes for what works best for women, at least this one, in order of importance:
-Languange/words, which is ironic, given the (quasi) fact that men seem to lose verbal ability as their sex drive increases. I seriously think this phenomenon is responsible for my very 'good girl' reputation well into college. Until I took a lit class, that is.
-Regular excercise. For me, running (my husband hands me my running shoes now that he's noticed the side effect) (does it increase testosterone? blood flow?)
-And, though I'm a huge advocate of staying at home with the kids, working out of the home seems to make a huge difference amongst the women I know.
Maybe the regular engagement or competition, even if it's in subtle doses? At any rate, now I 'get' the process I used to watch my husband go through. The arrival home, the need for a period of quiet for unwinding, and then the 'can't keep my hands to myself' phase.
If only dinner didn't always get in the way. Of course, it doesn't have to.
Who needs chocolate and oysters? Grilled cheese and tomato soup—bring it.
Off for my run. . .then to the office.
I'm with the majority: food is one thing; sexuality is another. (Frankly I never have fathomed the 'out to dinner, then off to bed' concept of dating....I suspect it has more to do with exchange of services than with romance.)
I find that I'm wired in large part by my experiences. When I wonder, 'why?' I almost always realize (sooner or later) that she has the ears of ...., or the smile of ...., or the (better stop here). And it's strange to be walking through a mall or sitting on a park bench and have the insane impulse to walk up to a total stranger and tell her: 'You are incredibly sexy, and you remind me of ... who used to ....' (The fact that I'm here and not locked up clearly proves I DON'T succumb to these impulses -- right called insane!) Nonetheless it's reassuring to know that my experiences (sometimes lost to the conscious mind) are still at play 'under the surface' popping up in the most unexpected places and times.
One issue that occassionally comes up is that of having a crush on someone from years ago -- and running into them. Fortunately, as the years go on, the obvious male 'display' is hidden (pants help too!). It's frustrating when the imagination shifts into overdrive and all of that 'what could have been' thinking starts. Poignancy!
Yep, the mind is the fundamental aphrodisiac. And society and its rules are the ultimate 'downer' -- bringing rationality and common sense into play. It has always been a delicate balance: insuring we as a species reproduce and building tall walls around that instinct. Weird!
Unlike most folks, I've never found that alcohol (negatively) affects my 'performance'. (Then again, I seldom drink and as a younger guy was what's diapprovingly known now as a 'binge drinker'). I suspect that the AGE at which one began one's sex life has a lot to do with how deep the groove is cut, and that for those of us who started very, very young, the dampening effects of alcohol simply aren't strong enough to block those neural paths.... The fact that alcohol decreases one's ability and desire to 'self-control' allows both parties to be more spontaneous and (I suspect) more relaxed. Result: the play response (instead of the responsible 'work ethic'). The biggest anti-aphrodisiac is certainly obligation!!!!!
I vividly remember an early (and delightfully evil) girlfriend introducing me to the 'Singapore Sling'. I'd never heard of it, and it tasted so good I suggested getting another, to which she gleefully agreed. After I chugged the second one, and tried to stand up, Sharon giggled. She knew exactly what she was doing... I often wonder where she is and what happened to her life. And still, when I hear the strains of her 'favorite song' I get wistful. Oh -- her favorite actor and crush -- was Paul Newman. She had excellent taste in men, too!
Hug me round the neck, girl, let me see your face
Hug me on the neck now, kiss me on my face
Some folks need a reason
Darlin, I just need a place.
The day is peeking its pink face out here. I hope many Eyesters have a good reason not to get out of bed just yet. These words will be here when you finish more important things.
Doc, you are absolutely right, the whole end of society is to "protect" us and others from following through on unconsidered urges. I am reminded of the young couple who belonged to a church that encouraged piety by discouraging sexual intimacy. The practice was for a newlywed couple to abstain for a year EVEN AFTER MARRIAGE. The husband explained to his preacher "Well, pastor, we just couldn't follow the rule. We tried for weeks and weeks and were doing pretty well, but one night, she leaned over to pick up a jar of mayonnaise and I just couldn't help myself. I had to make love to my wife. Then and there."
The preacher shook his head sadly "Well, son. I'm afraid we can't let you come back to our church for a while. Rules are rules."
"I Understand, preacher. They won't let us come back to the Piggly Wiggly, either."
In these difficult economic times, when many people do not even have insurance for life threatening medical needs, something is really wrong when, last year, GM Auto Workers UNION MEDICAL Benefits paid out $17 million dollars for senior male retirees' Viagra prescriptions alone.
MACKDADDY1 said...
Willie Trask:
You SO made me giggle right out loud at work!! Love the humor this time of the morning. But seriously folks...miss ive is right. Physical exercise produces a chemical that seems to trigger a warm sexy feeling within me. After a workout, warm bubble bath, and an evening of cuddling by the fireplace watching old movies...my husband says I am a tiger. Grrrrr! I love love love chocolate, and I can be pretty passionate while consuming a Hershey bar. But I don't think it enhances my desire for intimacy. Alcohol just puts me to sleep. Am so going to the gym tonight.
See ya guys and dolls.
You are absoplutely right YvonneEloise. Something is wrong.
Is it
A) That the insurance company ignored all of those emails offering low low prices?or
B) That the Union retirees had all of the fun while Management had to buy their own?or
C) That they should have been satisfied with the screwing they did to the American Consumer while they were still working?
Or maybe D) the screwing that passed between them and management over the years?
But seriously, what would you change? Would you give the retired auto workers less insurance? Would that solve the problem to which you allude? If you have ideas for a practical solution to people's inability to pay for life threatening medical needs, there are people in Washington who need to hear from you. I hope that yours are better than the ones that were being thrown around in October. It would be nice if they weren't coercive and confiscatory, for instance. It would be a pleasant start if the first step wasn't creating more government bureaucracy.
I was recently a recipient of health care services, as they now call it. I had a chunk of metal launched into my thigh at high speed. Part of a splitting wedge, not a bullet. I bled like a stuck pig. My BP was kind of scary. I spent six or seven hours lying on my back in a nice ER. They X rayed my leg. A surgeon came by. Other than that, I flirted with personnel and soaked up a lot of saline. After my brother pleaded with them, they let me go home with a prescription for an antibiotic. I went back the next day to prove I wasn't dead yet. . About 2 weeks later, I saw the surgeon again. If he looked at my wound at all, it was only to say it was healing nicely. The metal is still in there.
The Surgeon got about $400 and is asking me for a little more. The ER doctors' collection agency is getting persistent about another few hundred. And the hospital, which didn't even sell me any $10 aspirin, is tapping their foot and waiting for about $1500.
Maybe part of the problem is that everything costs so much. Had I been insured, I would have spent more on premiums than even these remarkable sums ( Can YOU get health coverage for under $200 a month?).
I was treated very well by pleasant, friendly, competent folks. If I had bled for another hour, I might have died. I am grateful to be alive and not crippled.
But I would suggest to you that the reason those ex assemblers' little blue pills cost so much is the same as my Unfortunate Saturday did: Nobody is expected to pay out of their own pocket.
Now can we get back to the oysters?
No matter what the outward sexual stimulation of Aphrodisiacs, Aspies have a unique sexual experience,compared to Neuro Typicals. An Aspergers brain allows us more grey matter , 'which routes sensory stimulus to create response to any stimulus including sexual ~ it basically processes information in the sensory organs.' In other words, we are easily overstimulated sexually, however, it has no outlet but continuous internal sexual stimulation in our brain and sensory organs. We are eternally experiencing continuous orgasms mentally because our white cells are wired differently than Neurotypicals. We tend to internalize our orgasms on a never~ending basis and have a lot more of them,but have limited capabilities to express them outward physically.
Aspergers' larger grey matter in the brain gives rise to the adage "It's good to have a big one!"
Willie: How about drop Free Viagra ? Simple? Pay as you Play plan.
I don't think it is the oysters, I think it's the sound they make when you eat them, all that slurping and sucking. Anyway: smell - pheromones. All I have to do is mention around my husband I am putting on his favorite perfume and WHAM BAM...of course the wind blowing has a lot to do with it too.
Pheromones work. I love the commercial of the girl with the unibrow who is attracting every man she walks by, because she rubs cashews on her neck. Pheromones are basically love Potion #9.
I'll probably be completely alone in this...
But nothing was more arousing to me than when my sweetie and I decided to stop having sex for fun, and started having sex for children.
There's so many t-shirts now that I should be wearing: DO IT FOR THE KIDS!
And it turns the usual male psychology of sex on its head (sorry), when sex is for procreation. The guy (me, of course) can stop thinking of his swimmers as The Enemy, and instead look forward to liberating the little haploids. GO AND BE FREE!!! SEEK YOUR DESTINY!!!
Not that one should yell these things at the Moment of Truth, no. Epic-sounding vocalizations tend to be a little out of place.
When Wee Heathen III was conceived, it was one of those comic moments that will never happen again (because we're done after three, or so we say). My sweetie, because she is the Goddess and is in command of and in touch with all Things Eternal & Good, came downstairs and announced that she JUST KNEW there was an egg in place. Waiting. She snapped her thumb toward the bedroom and said "You. Now."
She was absolutely right, of course. Later, when our midwife asked for us to guess the day of conception, we gave her the date and precise time. I suppose to be fair, it could have been one of a few precise times.
Gotta be careful, though. It's fun memories like The Conception of Syd that make the likelihood of Syd's little brother or sister happening all the greater.
M. Isles,
On the one hand, I can't think of anything more likely to encourage sex than the smile of a tiny baby, but on the proverbial other, we have the behavior of a two year old. If people gave birth to two year olds, there would probably be much better birth control.
I'll see your two year old and raise you a four year old. Our four year old daughter is killing us these days. Everything is a Greek tragedy. Every disappointment leads to wailing. How can somebody so short have THAT much lung volume?!?
Wood Allen another aspie, answered all questions about aphrodisiacs and viagra in his film "Everything You Wanted to Know about Sex but Were Afraid to Ask".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFQUOElTwgU
Lamb is suggested as an excellent aphrodisiac by Woody.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-7kXnfXyXc&feature=related
Whaddaya expect from a guy named...
Speaking of "on its head", Jonathan, my husband and I had a difficult time procreating another life. It took two years of constant sex to have our miracle baby, our daughter who is now grow. Sex, alone, just did not work. It was wearing him out. Plus, I had to stand on my head immediately after intercourse to make sure the sperm found its way to its source for procreation. After a glass of wine for relaxation, sex, and standing on my head, it worked. (to make a long story short)
As the old saying goes, success is 1% inspiration, and 99% perspiration...
this is one instance where I can lump sex pills and god together, I don't need the FDA to confirm with scientific data that either one are indeed genuine, I've done enough independent study astral travel to confirm both. By the way, biggest shame in all this is the "dragon's teeth" of tibet, the yeti teeth from gigantopithecus, damn shame.
Oh, and eye contact, that's what really gets everything going.
If you thing a 2 year old or a 4 year old are enough for birth controll I got a 15 year old girl. 'Boys!' 'Boys!' 'Boys!' the word for the day, today and every day with her -making my husband and myself nuts!
Dark chocolate's taste may make one reel,
A fine wine can enhance most any meal,
But, if a soul-mate you chance to find,
Love is forever on and in your mind.
...nothing artificial needed, but I do appreciate a stubble-free face...
The Very Thought of You ~ by Ray Noble, sung by Billie Holiday
"The very thought of you and I forget to do
The little ordinary things that everyone ought to do
I'm living in a kind of daydream
I'm happy as a queen
And foolish though it may seem
To me that's everything
The mere idea of you, the longing here for you
You'll never know how slow the moments go till I'm near to you
I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
Its just the thought of you
The very thought of you, my love"
I've been told by the missus that husbands who do dishes and laundry are a most sexy bird indeed... and don't even get her started on ones that make dinner and take care of the kids... what transpires after is of legends...
excuse me, I have some whites to fold and a PB&J to make...
I tell my special lady that I can't be wasted my precious energy on dishes, dinner, takin' out the trash or changin tires, that's for her to do, I gotta keep my strength up. Put another log on the fire, like Shel Silverstein says.
Shibbolethian,
You're right. Sweat is a good one. Good stuff. Or fixing something with lots of buttons and gadgets and stuff.
Question though, is sweat one for guys? My husband always grabs me when I get back from a run, but then he scrunches up his face and says, "you taste like a salt lick."
I agree with EVERYTHING miss IVE said. poison IVE.
Horny goat weed? That is so NOT going in my field greens salad, I don't care if it is orgasmic.
"Does alcohol make you more likely to regret it in the morning? Or does it make you LESS likely to remember it in the morning?"
DPR ~ Can I answer with both A & B?
Honestly I can't believe in the Oysters. had them at Felix's in N.O, didn't do a thing for me, chocolate is its own food group & the old Brute cologne smell brings back memories that still makes me wonder if its more option A or more option B that haunts me....... Now the scent of Lauren's Polo & you can call me yours.....it's seems to be very unfortunate for the men who wear it & are around me .......
Nick: Aspies are not into eye contact. Our large brain grey matter make up for it.
My theory on women and food and sex: Women generally want one or the other. And generally, if both are present, they'll choose the former.
Gentlemen, keep them hungry. Bring a pizza or chocolate home, then that's where she'll get her 'fill.'
Nick,
Poison Ivy: definitely not an aphrodisiac. A roll in the leaves, yes. A roll in the wrong kind of leaves, definetly not. Bad memories. Very bad.
Honestly, if you're in sync with your significant other, life provides all the impetus you need.
For me, the fact that my lady WANTS me is one of the greatest aphrodisiacs available.
That, and all she has to do is show up and I'm good. I'm a male.What can I say.
Cynthia I had to stay with my brother's 4 kids overnight and get the older two up and ready for school. The 1year old cried hysterically until midnight, then woke up at 5am and cried hysterically until 6am, then the 6year old woke up crying cause she wet the bed. The older kids were late for school the younger kids were dropped off at my mother's house in clothes and shoes, that's it...I'm not even sure if they were clean but they were clothes. I've never been so glad to go to work in my life.
It was excellent birth control. Brother and his wife won't be back until Saturday, send over your 15 year old to babysit and she won't let a boy touch her for years, or until after some intensive therapy. Hell I'm not letting my husband touch me for a good long time after I get rid of those kids tomorrow morning.
Everyone says its different when they are your own but I'm not taking that risk, I firmly believe its a lie that parents tell childless folk to make themselves feel better...misery loves company.
Turn offs: Children (sticky, crying, stinky, stubborn, obnoxious, snotty, dirty kids), a dirty/messy home or environment, a full stomach, the dog, me having just cleaned anything, having company in my house, strong smells, the phone ringing, the tv on, being tired, heavy cologne, strong food smells.
Turn ons: Exercising (yoga especially for some reason), clean environment, quiet, candle/fire light (everyone looks good), soft clean scents, the promise of a good dinner AFTER, SB smelling like fresh soap and clean laundry, a lazy warm afternoon with all the chores done and nothing to do, steamy shower, nice sheets (anything over 300 th/ct in supima cotton), naked naps.
Eating makes me feel full and uncomfortable, so food simply doesn't do it for me.
Oh my, so many fantastic comments!
Jonathan,
Sounds like you have my four-year-old! But, rest assured, you are not alone. Conceiving my little one was better than anything from before or after. But I should also mention that, sex during pregnancy is glorious and, once again, no enemy involved. It's not like pregnancy is likely to be an unwanted risk on such occasions. And, contrary to what fashion industry models seem to believe about men, I love all that roundness!
Doc Nolan,
Your comments on alcohol remind me of a great quote from Tom Jones: "It is often said that too much drink will dull a man's desires. Indeed it will... in a dull man." As for your notion that food is one thing and sexuality is another, I once again refer you to Tom Jones. Go check the movie out and then get back to me.
Missive,
"Is sweat one for guys?" Yes, yes, yes, yes! Oh, pardon me; I got carried away. Now, please stop torturing me with all this stuff about your coming home from running.
I would go beyond Missive's note on words and language and say that talent is one of the sexiest things in the world. In my young single days as an actor, any show I was in usually led to my developing a crush on whoever was the best actress in the cast. Brilliant writers, musicians, etc. all definitely have their talent and artistry in their favor. It begs the question, in what other field are they talented artists?
Olivia,
I see you have fallen off your vegetarian wagon. How was the sausage?
Wheatgrass, your missus is a wise woman indeed. Nick...if you don't waste your precious energy helping out, guess what? She'll do all that work herself and waster HER precious energy...and you still won't get any.
I work 50 hours a week and on weekends I clean the building I work in. When I come home and SB has cleaned the house and made dinner it really makes me happy, which in turn makes HIM happy. If I had to come home and clean we'd have a completely sexless marriage. "If mamma ain't happy, ain't no one happy."
Nachista,
Famous saying in my casa: "Happy Wife, Happy Life"
But sometimes you still have to do things that perturb them to keep things honest... like wear that certain J. Peterman Irish sweater with the big folded collar that they don't like, but you think you look dashing in...
Agen666 answered my question regarding whether or not NEED aphrodisiacs. Not that they don't exist for you or make things even better, just the NEED question.
DPR,
To extend our language, talent thread, I would summarize it all to one thing: passion. In anything. Intensity is a big trigger for me. Except the date in eleventh grade who ordered five hotdogs at the A&W. That's just gross.
insert 'men' between 'not' and 'NEED' above.
("That's what she said." Sorry, couldn't resist that one.)
Seven senses fueled by two flaming hearts.
By the way...the sun is up.
I just clicked on the "future" link located at the upper right hand corner of this page and nothing changed. Should I be worried?
All,
I just went to check out the 'future' button, per Peter's reference, and clicked the 'past,' too. Just read everyone's comments on our film trailer.
Thank you very much. Again, your support means a lot. I will keep it posted on my profile until the full film rolls. Just got a call from the director asking if it's okay that he leave in the part where my sister and I talk about whether or not we've ever been in a strip club. He wanted to know if it would be okay on Peterman's Eye. I laughed when I thought of all the things we've discussed on here.
Just thought of another really good one (weigh in ladies):
Jeans-and-a-sportcoat combo. Omigod. Omigod. Can we break that down? What is it about that that is so flippin' sexy? Is the rugged 'I can get down and dirty' mixed with the 'but I'm also famiiliar with the finer things?' Dunno. I just know my mind shuts off when I see it. Omigod.
I just thank God (THANK YOU) that my husband is also a fan of that combo for work. (THANK YOU).
MACKDADDY1 said...
Speaking on the subject of sex...Don't snicker but I was a virgin when I met and fell in love my husband. He says that the fact I was a virgin was a potent aphrodisiac and he has the knee scars to PROVE IT!
(I'm apparently just going to keep posting today)
All,
Thought I should point out that our very own Rings90 is also in that trailer. She's the third 'friend,' eating at the candlelit table. She drove over last minute to meet up with us. A true adventurer.
DPR,
The very fact that you were thinking of coming over is fantastic. Next one, for sure.
Peter,
Lots of popcorn. The director says it's almost 30 minutes long now. Making me squirm. Too much of Miss Ive is TOO much.
Missive I second your jeans and a sport coat combo. Actually well dressed men in general. Jeans and a t-shirt usually don't do it for me.
Oooh confidence is a turn on as well.
I have heard, and found it to be true, that in male brains the triggers for anger and the triggers for sex overlap. Each cue can trigger the other. Anyone else noticed this?
The photo at the top of the page is making me gag every time I see it. There is something about watching people eat or HEARING them chew that I have a hard time with.
Also the thought of her eating that whole chocolate bar makes my stomach hurt. Every year before Thanksgiving my mother and her sister make and hand dip about 500lbs of chocolates. I grew up thinking everyone's house smelled like candy for 2 whole months out of the year. I am immune to that smell now. I still like chocolate but when I see large quantities it shuts off the hunger switch in my brain and I start craving fresh fruits or a salad.
Now it seems to me there was a combo meal of classic aphrodisiacs that was set and enjoyed by one of our regular contributors.
I believe it involved a romantic anniversary dinner, a trip to a private farm road, a Barry White CD, the back seat, and "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights".
It's all wonderful.
I'm also thinking of a song sung by a recently rejuvenated Don Ameche in the movie Cocoon with the opening line of "I'm in the mood for love, simply because I have one"
I'd better hit the rowing machine and take a cold shower before its too ........
Anger, men and sex? Nachista, a whole other post, right? I don't think my husband's anger (toward me) turns him on. However, I also don't think it deters him.
What DOES turn him on is MY anger. He actually gets me riled up on purpose. The snapping of the dish towel on my arse. If he's not throwing me over his shoulder, my fists banging on his back, half the fun is lost for him. Admittedly, it IS sexy, in a primal way. The problem comes when he overplays his hand. Snaps the towel a little too hard and I'm bent overr, grabbing my bottom, sobbing. Sort of kills the mood.
MackDaddy,
I think PeterLake is calling you out, you rascal. That brought back good memories. When I thought you were a 'daddy' and told you to 'drag your wife in the backseat!'
But it's interesting, isn't it? I agree, virginity seems to be the all-time great paradox of the aphradisiacs. The innocent girl. But then you drag them into the back seat and it drives them crazy, too. Again proving my original point. They're men. Just about anything works.
Five-o'clock-shadow
An Australian Accent
MACKDADDY1 said...
PETERLAKE AND MISS IVE: WHAT GOOD MEMORIES YOU BOTH HAVE! HEY... I MAY BE ON A DIET BUT I CAN STILL LOOK AT THE MENU! I WAS 18 WHEN I PLUNGED HEAD FIRST INTO MARRAIGE. HE WAS WHAT SOME WOULD TERM "WORLDLY" AND I THE SMALLTOWN GOOOOD GIRL. HE SAYS I ALMOST KILLED HIM IN THE FIRST 3 MONTHS OF OUR MARRAIGE. IT REALLY IS A FUNNY STORY. BREAKFAST, LUNCH, DINNER AND A MINIMUM OF TWO SNACKS A DAY! WHOOWHO!
A sleepy voice
MackDaddy,
You are so coming on the next trip. We need your 'spice!' Let me handle your boss.
M.I.
Jalopkin,
Oh yes, my friend, you have nailed it.
In an elevator in a building (that I have always wished had been much taller) just north of Little Italy and east of Broadway early on a weekday morning, I was obliged to step back to make room for a young woman.
In her mid-twenties, dark honey blond, dark eyebrows and a little band of freckles across her nose, she was beyond cute in a sage wide strapped dress and sheer white hosiery. There was nothing not to admire.
A little excuse-me white smile and she turned her back to arrange items in her shoulder bag leaving me to study the peach fuzz on her cervical vertebrae.
Another stop, more passengers but still not a Japanese subway experience just a little more, oh- intimate- you might say.
Then, owing to a posture shift, I was treated to a face full of, let's call it, body air propelled up and out of the the back of her dress. Fresh out of the shower, uncorrupted by artificial scent and from way down by the equator, maybe even a little south of it. Very nice, not totally intoxicating.
Having become aware that the well dressed young man to my left seemed to have a common interest, I caught his attention by discreetly inhaling and scrunched myself into the corner allowing him to position himself behind her. He did.
God bless her, she treated him to several moves and they were not wasted on him.
This, was an intoxication situation but he was properly restrained in his appreciation.
Out front, we stood with those goofy-guy tilted heads watching as she walked north.
Then, to our embarrassment, we were busted when, turning back she wondered if we had a moment to help her. We did.
She showed us her work ID explaining that she had a good job there and then she held out an application to a publishing house that she already knew, if submitted, would be accepted. The new job, something of a big deal for someone her age, seemed daunting.
"You are so ready," I said.
The handsome stranger, sounding as though he had just stepped away from oral surgery, thickly mumbled: "Oh yeah."
She beamed, "Thanks guys," and was off.
"You handled that well," I wryly suggested looking over and up.
"Oh, my God, I looked like an idiot! " he exclaimed.
"Nothing of the sort," I encouraged. "You sounded like an idiot."
It seemed necessary to explain that that display of information and vulnerability on the streets of New York, of all places, was not intended for my benefit.
"Information, what do you mean?" he wondered.
I took a pen and wrote her phone number on the palm of his hand.
We chatted for a minute and as he turned to leave, he paused:
"I wouldn't have shared with you," he admitted.
"That's okay," I responded, "I wouldn't have shared with me either."
a uniform (green marpat happens to be my favorite)
MACKDADDY1 said...
MI: IF ANYBODY COULD HANDLE MY BOSS...IT IS DEFINATELY YOU. HOW DOES THAT OLD RHYME GO...SUGAR AND SPICE AND EVERYTHING NICE ETC...
Subtlety and nuance
Or well-crafted dialogue.
Stoney,
As always, OMIGOD.
a warm, breathy wisper felt on the neck
Turn offs: Most perfumes (never EVER date a woman who uses the same perfume as your mother), stupidity, trendiness, manipulations, self loathing, being unclean.
Turn ons: Stimulating conversations (arguments), being comfortable, old-fashioned bathtubs (big enough for two), casual classiness, self confidence . . .
Damn, can't think of anything physical.
As for aphrodisiacs, I really don't think there is anything that is going to get anyone's blood going if they aren't already headed in that direction.
Shandonista said...
I'm a recent convert to 30 Rock. Now, at my desk, all I can think of is Alec Baldwin wearing jeans and sportcoat, brimming with confidence, sporting a 5 o'clock shadow, and in that delicious voice of his, waxing poetic about politics or the economy or the weather..... sadly, no cold showers at the office.
A Wink at just the right moment.
jalopkin said...
STONEY:
It is amazing isn't it, just how much is so completely missed, by so many people ....... And I agree completely with your conclusions ....... Makes me want to spend more time on Elevators or Public Transportation ... I suppose that I shall have to study up on the differences between, or where to draw the Line between, genuine appreciation and OCD Perversion ....... Then I suppose I shall have to decide whether or not I really give a damn .......
Good On You Stoney !!! For paying attention .......
Nachista,
Yes. A well-timed wink. Btw, sexy pic. Cha,cha, chista.
All,
Speaking of which, just went to add another pic and saw that the one of my SISTER FLASHING HER GAMS has 91 views. So I guess we can add 'Miss Ive's sister's gams' to the list today. Gentlemen, beeehave. On second thought, do exactly as I tell you, and I'll get you a bikini shot.
Go up to 'Share The Eye,' click on the little gray man with the shovel icon, and DIGG this post. If it gets more than, hmmmm, what's a bikini shot of Lilu worth? More than 7. Kidding. i would never. Maybe for 50.
CoyoteMike,
Was giggling because I was going to suggest that you try 'an old-fashioned tub (big enough for one and a half),' and then I read the part just prior to that: 'being comfortable.' Nice post.
Shandonista,
Does he EVER wear jeans in 30Rock? EVER? Even when he's working in the mail room, he's 'three-pieced out.'
Your reference made me think of the best line yet from this season, though. When Liz Lemon is trying to get approved for adoption and she tells Jack she's cleaned up her apartment for the interview:
"I put away the Colin Firth movies in case they're considered erotica."
Colin Firth should make this list. Anything Colin Firth.
Crazy me, I would have thought that Alec Baldwin's dubious real-life dadness might have worked against him.
A positive attitude in a really crappy situation. Like whistling while changing a tire in the rain. Or cracking jokes on a trip to the ER.
I'm beginning to realize how unsexy I must seem to some of you. I hate the jeans-and-sportcoat look. In fact, I hate jeans altogether. Haven't owned a pair of jeans in 12 years. Haven't owned a pair of BLUE jeans in 20 years. When I think "well dressed", jeans, sneakers, and collarless shirts are immediately out of the picture. For casual pants, I share Mr. Peterman's passion for corduroy.
On the subject of sexy pants, I love soft and tactile. That's true for tops too, come to think of it. My wife wore velvet on the second day we met and I haven't taken my hands off her since.
Drinking from a garden hose.
Georgia said...
Value in much of the above. But chiefly, intellect, intellect, sense of humor, intellect, intellect, and intellect. Deferred gratification, too. And POWER, the vaunted aphrodisiac quality of which no one's mentioned: Politicians. Orchestral conductors. On and on and on.... With delight, I anticipate Session II.
Laughing
Ok, spill it...who won the sweepstakes and what are the buying with it? I want to live vicariously!
Oooooooooh. Corduroys. Yes, DPR. Especially trouser-cut. Or five-pocket. Or. . .
Georgia,
Though I didn't come out and say 'power,' I did concede to 'being thrown over a shoulder and dragged off.' But, yes, power.
All,
Am reading my first comment about how it seems 'men are easy and don't need aphrodisiacs,' and then noticing that I've listed more than 107 things in a rather short span of time. Is possible that the regular running and board room tangles have pushed me into a new gender category for libido. Should perhaps go back to yoga, a much more calming activity.
Off to pick up the hellians from school. Does throwing them in my mom's pool count as giving them their bath? If you don't hear from me again you can assume they teamed up and killed me.
Those who have never wielded any form of political power tend to find it very appealing. I have. Nothing in the world has ever made me less attractive or more disgusted with myself than when I wielded power over another (changed his life and career forever, no less).
Trust someone who's been there. There's nothing less sexy than power.
DPR,
Not political power. 'Steve McQueen' power. Oh, yeah.
Politicians are not invited to our home. We do not answer the door bell if they come.
I think I am a bit late to catch up on all these tasty tidbits - however, perhaps next time....if I am not busy at the premier of "the Lark" with MissIve...
You've seen it, of course? I am Lark #3. Or #4, or #5. Who knows.
Spratke!!!!!
You are the fourth to appear in the trailer. (She's the cuty with the dark hair in the train station).
And you rock. Thanks for coming and saying hello to all my Peterman friends. Like you, THEY'S GOOD PEOPLE.
One more try: She's the 'cutie' on the far right in the train station. More to come in the movie. I think she's the only sober one. She'll be easy to spot, as she is the only one in the upright position for most of the film.
Georgia said...
Computers! In media res of adding to my post the significant thing I forgot, how could I? my computer swept me off into the ether. Add this: Men who genuinely like, appreciate, enjoy, understand, pay attention to women are enormously attractive.
Of 'power,' I refer to how otherwise-wise male politicians give in to what their positions enable, seeing it not for what it is, but for genuineness. Man, y'got Trouble, right here in River City!
drdgscott said...
While others have characterized the differences between men and women in a variety of diminutives (Mars/Venus, hunters/gatherers, etc.), I have always believed that men were God's beta release and women were the debugged final product. One of the (many) differences between the initial experimental model and the more highly evolved product can be seen in the arousal patterns of each. Men are visually stimulated, drawn magnetically to anything which holds out the possibility of non-abrading friction. Women, possessing the ability to posit a more distant focal point, tend rather to be stimulated by the potential for mutuality post-congress.
Savvy men, recognizing the disparities, employ methodologies that extend the tantilizing promise of apres-intramural engagement (old Astrud Gilberto recordings, etc.) while women tend to utilize liberal displays of tangential circular forms. Despite the blantant transparency of such enticements, they still seem to possess remarkable efficacy.
YIPPEE ~ Another Fellow Lark has joined the PE... Welcome rspratke to what happens to be the most interesting daily blog in the world. Soon you will all be Larks or else ( Que cackling evil laughter)
Love a man that works with his hands...
Will be off the grid tomorrow everyone have fun finishing up todays topic & with whatever tomorrows may be :)
Gosh, I'll never ever forget the very first time. Who could now that I think about it? Such a grand passage to such new ecstasies! Whew! Makes me dizzy thinking about it.
I'm not certain about my age at the time but I'll never, ever forget how nervous I was. How afraid I'd do or say something wrong and just kill the moment. The scariest part was that it was so dark and I was all alone.
Peter Lake,
Right, left, Barbasol?
Night all,
Very fun day.
I have a feeling, after the arousing discussion, Mr. Peterman might be receiving thank you notes from all of our mates tomorrow.
Stoney and PeterLake,
Quuuu-it it.
CoyoteMike - you hit the nail on the head with your turn-ons and turn-offs. But I'd like to add, to the turn-on list: the proper smile. A girl with a seductive smile is absolutely irresistible.
MissIve,
Sorry, there is no act of depravity too base to advance just a little.
Lovey said...
Whatever happened to green mm's.
They were all the rage in middle school.
"Ohhoho! He gave you a green mm. He wants to get to second base."
MissIve: First off, grilled cheese; YES
http://tobemrsmarv.com/2008/11/30/grilled-cheese-manifesto/
Second, sports jacket and jeans; HELLS YES.
Perhaps some of you remember me speaking of a certain too sensable christian boy who refuses to take me to europe? but I am still madly in love with?
His day to day outfit consists of jeans, pinstriped dress shirt, warm-orange-brown cordouroy [sp? I should know this] sports jacket, and puma sneakers.
You people have too much of a hold on my social life as it is.
Scanning comments, sorry kids.
No time, homework, bleehhhh, excuses.
I miss you guys.
When I went to high school , good girls did not wear bikinis much less take a green M & M as some request for sex. Ask Annette! We did not even wear sandals or pants to school.
COYOTE MIKE... great smile is a good one.
I always find that a man is very interesting to ME if I am interesting to HIM. I mean, on the most basic level. They still should be funny, respectful, helpful, confident, and have some basic grasp of hygiene. And house-trained. But I'm also with Missy about the whole toss-me-over-his-shoulder-and-head-for-the-bedroom thingy...sometimes.
And none of that silly macho posturing. Which doesn't cull many of the guys here. Sorry, Nick...
YvonneEloise,
Green M&Ms were probably not intended for "good girls."
I know I'm cherry-picking, but still...
If you come to me sickly you know I'm gonna make you well
If you come to me all hexed up you know I'm gonna break the spell
If you come to me hungry you know I'm gonna fill you full of grits
If it's lovin you're likin, I'll kiss you and give you the shiverin' fits
'Cause I'm a woman! W-O-M-A-N, I'll say it again
I can stretch a greenback dollar bill from here to kindom come!
I can play the numbers, pay the bills and still end up with some!
I got a twenty-dollar gold piece says there ain't nothing I can't do
I can make a dress out of a feed bag and I can make a man out of you
'Cause I'm a woman! W-O-M-A-N, I'll say it again
'Cause I'm a woman! W-O-M-A-N, and that's all.
A girlfriend of mine theorizes that the teen years occur in order to facilitate separation of the child from the family, encouraging the desire for the offspring's independence to all involved. Jonathan, and all with wee 'uns (and Suzanne's potentials and temps), you have SO MUCH to look forward to.
Conception is definitely the funnest part of childrearing.
Robert: I'm a situational vegetarian. Not a fanatic. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do...
Here's the story for the vegetarian in you, Olivia. And it's a cautionary tale for when love turns sour. As in sauerbraten. There has to be a full-disclosure aspect to the aphrodisiac tales that we've been marinating in all day. Like in gravy. With vegetables.
http://www.theage.com.au/news/National/Knight-life-sentence-appeal-fails/2006/09/11/1157826846642.html
Isles,
Jesus of Nazareth! Where did that come from?
Isn't it just the most gruesome thing you've read... I couldn't believe it. Couldn't make that scheit up!!! Those Aussies. They have major issues.
See? SEE? An object lesson in the perils of carnality in general. Not only was there the murder, dismemberment, consumption of forbidden flesh, but these two WERE NOT MARRIED! Oh, the humanity. To what depths might we sink without the majesty of the law? And to add to the horror of the crime (and all kidding aside, it was indeed calamitous), the indignity of Husband Butt Gravy. Absolutely the last straw.
Those wacky Aussies. I smell a slasher flick...
Wait-she BAKED? Any fool know that husbands should be slow-roasted for extended periods over a simmering fire of resentment, spite, and passive-aggressive retaliation...
Don't forgrt to save room for desert, kids!
forget it
There's always room for....
Nope, I can't do it.
Yeah, I didn't get the "baked" angle. I think it must have been bad reporting. Everybody knows that a heavy muscle group like the rump roast needs a long, slow roast to break down the collagen fibers in the meat. Otherwise, you get a nasty, dry, chewy roast that tastes like shoe leather. Long, slow, even heat would yield a delectable treat. With vegetables and gravy...!!!
Lovey said...
YvonneEloise: MIDDLE school, m